Montana Cowboy


Donating Member
Old but haven't seen it in awhile

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'

Bud looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answered, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Singular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany

Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
herd of sheep. . .

Now give me back my dog
reminds me of the idea to reintroduce the wolf into Idaho and Wyoming by people making decisions in DC. It took years to get rid of them and people that live thousands or miles away decide to force them back on the farmers and ranchers. I can almost bet the government spent our money to get rid of them back when, now spending our money to put them back. They have no clue about the people they are supposed to represent.
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Arizona Cowboy and California cowboy are riding the fence line to patch any holes.. they come across a small heard of sheep and AZ goes all giddy, jumps off his horse, grabs a sheep and loops the sheeps head in the barbwire fence... what he does next to the sheep is not fit to print here but needless to say, he was smiling and California cowboy was in shock..

When he is done, AZ asks CA cowboy if he would like some of the action.. without hesitation, CA cowboy shoots off his horse, says "hellya" and then stuffs his own head into the barbwire fence.....

I know......"Baa aaa aaad"