Losing friends...FAST.

[Amode]

Rubb
That's what I mean about Panty Hose. Most so called men were them. If you were a real man you would call your friend up and talk to him, And go have a beer. Screw what you have heard it all comes from women any way. The so called men can not do that and be a real friend because of the Women. I am almost 71 been thru all that stuff. I have my Harley And My Busa. I do not have any of my so called friends from Forty plus years ago . I have heard of them but do not know them. It drives them crazy that I do not call them, But do they call me. ??? There is no such thing as a friend just keep them aside. You will meet so many new people just keep them guessing and walk tall my friend. Every body will want to know what rub is doing don't tell them keep quite and just go have fun.

[Poppy]

Always remember to listen to that voice telling you to take the high road during this phase in your life and not talk smack about the soon-to-be ex. Good luck!! Oh, and get a female lawyer.....

[semi]

if i had done all the things that have been said about me during my divorces, i would be in prison or dead...casual friends disappear and i can assure you that it isn't a big loss, it just means there are less people out there spreading rumors now...keep your head high, have a great time doing whatever you want to do, and see what (or who) life has in store for you tomorrow...it's an adventure, live it to the fullest

[rubbersidedown]

Lots of very intelligent points...as always.

I have never really understood the "Bad Mouthing" of ones "Significant Other" or "Ex". To me it seems an' admission of stupidity. Telling everyone how shiddy the person was,then acknowledging the fact that you just spent 10 or 20 years with them. Don't get me wrong,I have pi55ed and moaned from time to time,but I guess it was really only the last year or so that things really whent south. Couples always have good month's and bad month's but when it turns into years...time to throw in the towel.

I will attempt to bare no ill will and move on as fast as is humanly possible. The friends that have wives that now don't like me...O well. The friends that cant stop by now...fug 'em.

I always try and take all the best bits and pieces from all of life's experiences and catalog them for future reference.

I was once told by "this one" that she believed that most couples have "The Honeymoon Phase." Where things are great,you're having sex on the kitchen table 3 times a day. You can't wait for the other person to get home. Everything they say makes you smile and laugh. A fuggin' Hallmark Card everyday. BUT THEN,that has to end. Me...I don't think so. I've been accused many times of being a "Searcher" , always looking for the one girl that feels the same as me. That the Honeymoon doesn't have to end.

If it's true,and all relationships fizzle out and get boring after 6 months.... I may just go that route. Date them,have fun,when it starts to get boring or seem like work... BYE BYE.



What do you guys think. Can the "Honeymoon Phase" last more than 6 months,especially after you move in together?


RSD.

[newman]

Sorry to hear about this.

You don't need those type of friends.
I just don't understand why people can act like this.

[VIPER]

Rub Keep looking. I have been with my current wife for 7 years married 6 of them and i can tell you the honey moon is still on!!!!!! Its doesnt have to end!!! Its 100% the amount of effort you put into the relationship. My wife and I are both on our second marraiges. We learned a ton from the first and are bound and determinied not to make the same mistakes again. We strive everyday to come up with something new or at least surprise the other in one way or another. It keeps things fresh and awesome. Not to mention super active in the bedroom!!!!

[TallTom]

Rubb,

Every relationship goes through phases. But yes at first they always seem hot and never ending happiness. (Honeymoon phase). Since my divorce I learned a few things. There are MANY women out there. Nowadays many work and have the same high stress lives that men have dealt with for years. They are beginning to see how these pressures mount and then to try and have someone in your life who doesn't wear on your nerves, is even more difficult. I can tell you I have made it a point to date the OPPOSITE or what I married. Not that my ex was all bad, because I loved her when we married and that lasted for years. But we married young and grew differently as we aged.

Nowadays, if you want independence, find an independent woman. Someone who recognizes that we need space. Because they need it to. When this is over, take your time. Don't rush into a new one. Date, relax, take them in in a new light. I have dated from nurses to attorneys to VPs to dancers (as in strippers). *Quick side note. The stripper was actually one of the brightest and easiest to get along with women I have ever met. And no I didn't meet her at her work. Had she not told me, I would have never known.* What keeps dating and relationships fun, is to have enough in common that you want to spend time with them as a friend, have certain things not in common so that you both can learn, and have the desire to want enjoyment in the company, rather than simply someone to come home to and get in a rut. And this usually happens when you move in together. For me that is the biggest part of being cautious to things changing. If you move in, everything changes. Sometimes for the good sometimes not. But at that point, you have little choice but to realize that you will not have the come to this everyday now.

[voodoolord]

Awe Rubb Im feeling for ya. I dont know the details obviously but breakups are hard in general. You really will find out who your real friends are when your at your bottom. Love ya bro and good luck.

[In10SS]

Hey Rubb, Some good advice from members above, not that you asked! If only we could seriously learn from the mistakes of others and not repeat them! Still, since we are shaped by our own past experiences there is always hope for a brighter future. A couple of things I'd pass on to those I care about if they were receptive. No two people are identical or a perfect mirror fit, all relationships worth having take work; meaning putting yourself out there to be potentially hurt and being willing to sacrifice at times. Grazing just doesn't work long term; you have to invest yourself to grow past the honeymoon stage. My wife is the only person in the world that can seriously hurt me emotionally and it's because I value her opinion so highly. It takes trust to risk it. You need a partner as intelligent as you, and more caring and kind. It doesn't hurt if she is hot, as well. This to, will pass.

[Wag]

"I've got plenty of friends. . .

. . .as long as I'm buyin.'" --Styx

[rubbersidedown]

"I've got plenty of friends. . .

. . .as long as I'm buyin.'" --Styx

Love that band.

Bit of a funny story. I was sitting in the hot tub at the River Rock Casino...from there you can look up and see the gym through glass walls. Well,I glance up and notice this "Long hair" kinda freaky lookin' guy. I say to the wife... "I thought this hotel was high-end,they'll let any fuggin' body in here."

So I do a double take... turns out,it's Tommy Shaw from STYX.

'Course I got outa the tub and whent up to tell him how shiddy I think his music is. Actually,I told him I thought the band was awesome. I was of course there at the hotel to see the STYX concert that night.

Had another encounter with STYX in of all places...Hawaii. Oahu to be exact. I was tipping a few back at a pub called Moose McGillicuddy's. I picked up the local little news rag and start to glance thru. I spy on one of the pages a photo of a band that I instantly recognise.Yup, STYX. Ad says they are playing a concert,that night...I look at my watch...they go on in 20 minutes. DOH! Down goes the 8 or 9th Irish car bomb(awesome drink) and out into the street for a taxi. 20 minutes later we are in the concert hall, and have not missed the opening track.

I have done some fun shi7 in my life.

RSD.

[rubbersidedown]

second line from the bottom...Rubb was there. Honolulu.

[rubbersidedown]

8th city from the bottom. River Rock Casino. Fun time...AND, I got the t-shirt.

[TallTom]

Love that band.

Bit of a funny story. I was sitting in the hot tub at the River Rock Casino...from there you can look up and see the gym through glass walls. Well,I glance up and notice this "Long hair" kinda freaky lookin' guy. I say to the wife... "I thought this hotel was high-end,they'll let any fuggin' body in here."

So I do a double take... turns out,it's Tommy Shaw from STYX.

'Course I got outa the tub and whent up to tell him how shiddy I think his music is. Actually,I told him I thought the band was awesome. I was of course there at the hotel to see the STYX concert that night.

Had another encounter with STYX in of all places...Hawaii. Oahu to be exact. I was tipping a few back at a pub called Moose McGillicuddy's. I picked up the local little news rag and start to glance thru. I spy on one of the pages a photo of a band that I instantly recognise.Yup, STYX. Ad says they are playing a concert,that night...I look at my watch...they go on in 20 minutes. DOH! Down goes the 8 or 9th Irish car bomb(awesome drink) and out into the street for a taxi. 20 minutes later we are in the concert hall, and have not missed the opening track.

I have done some fun shi7 in my life.

RSD.

I was in of all places Burlington, Vt. for an extended work stay. Made sort of a nightly ritual of the hot tub on the roof of the hotel. So one night, I come up and there is this long hair guy sitting in the hot tub. So I'm like having no idea who it is. Didn't really bother me or give me a second thought. Said hello and he said hello back and we were making small chit chat.

So about 10 minutes later, I KNOW who I'm seeing walk up to the tub. Heather Locklear. I totally know this is no mistaking who it is. She steps in and sits next to him. I'm like OK who the hell is this guy. So more small talk and I said By the way I'm Tom. He said Hi I'm Richie, she says Hi I'm Heather. I still don't have a clue who the guy is, but I KNEW who Heather was. Come to find out he was there to build a Marina on Lake Champlain and he was meeting with the money and the engineering guys. He says hey you want to see what it looks like? Sure I said. He said Honey take him in and show him the Marina. I'm like OMG I am getting ready to follow Heather Locklear into wherever she was taking me. Still had no idea who Richie was. She was Sooooooo nice and super sweet and is showing me the drawings and such and says" Hey you want me to bring some wine and cheese out to the Hottub"? I'm Like You can do anything you want. So she is trapsing around in her teeny tiny bikini and all chatty and getting out wine and cheese and I'm like I better leave before this dude thinks I'm up to something. But I am thinking if God decides to take me today, I have had a good life as of this moment. She gets a phone call and says sure I'll take the phone out to him. So I'm taking out the cheese and she is following me with the wine and phone. So I get back in the tub and he takes the phone and responds to the other end, Yes this is Mr. Sambora. The light bulb went off. It was Richie Sambora of Van Halen. I didn't even know Heather and he were together. Didn't even know who Richie Sambora was. I am not like a huge music follower. But I knew the name and knew what band he was with. She was super sweet and he was a very cool guy. We chatted for about an hour. I ate cheese that was cut by the hand of Heather Locklear and placed on a cracker that she held.

You know we see the act they are on stage and hear about their lives through the media, but in person they are just regular people. I mean at least they acted so. Saw them 2 more times while I was there. It was like talking to friends by then.

I saw her leaving the hotel one evening, ripped jeans and a T-Shirt. Totally like any normal chick but it was her and it looked hot as He**.