Bruce Bell
Registered
Guide to safe dating: Deciphering common personal ad descriptions and phrases:
"High maintenance" = Expensive drug habit.
"Family oriented" = 50 and lives with mother
.
"Well traveled" = Deadbeat dad on the run.
"Must love dogs" = Owns a vicious pitbull.
"Stimulating conversation" = This"ll cost ya $3.99 a minute.
"Romantic dinners" = want that supersized?"
"Homebody" = Under house arrest.
"Will add photo later" = Can't let spouse see me.
"Well read" = A know-it-all.
"Down to earth" = Just got Xanax prescription refilled.
"Energetic" = Cokehead.
"Willing to relocate" = has outstanding warrants
"Independent" = No friends.
"Call my cellphone" = Spouse might answer if you call the house.
"Willing to travel" = Desperate for a date.
"Loves long walks" = Drivers license revoked.
"Dutch treat" = You pay the $50.00 tab, they leave a $5.00 tip.
"Career minded" = Unemployed.
"Marriage minded = Visa due to expire, need citizenship.
"Spiritual" = Bible thumper.
"Financially secure" = Yea cuz ya never paid me back that $200.00
"Adventurous" = Umm, no thanks. I saw that movie "Deliverance"
"Open minded" = Multiple personality disorder.
"Spontaneous" = Constantly calls and wakes you up.
"Body type: Athletic" = Be very careful on this one. Sumo wrestlers are athletes too right?
Misconceptions about occupations:
"Law enforcement" = Mall security.
"Self employed" = Drug dealer.
"Customer service" = Would you like fries with that?.
"High maintenance" = Expensive drug habit.
"Family oriented" = 50 and lives with mother
.
"Well traveled" = Deadbeat dad on the run.
"Must love dogs" = Owns a vicious pitbull.
"Stimulating conversation" = This"ll cost ya $3.99 a minute.
"Romantic dinners" = want that supersized?"
"Homebody" = Under house arrest.
"Will add photo later" = Can't let spouse see me.
"Well read" = A know-it-all.
"Down to earth" = Just got Xanax prescription refilled.
"Energetic" = Cokehead.
"Willing to relocate" = has outstanding warrants
"Independent" = No friends.
"Call my cellphone" = Spouse might answer if you call the house.
"Willing to travel" = Desperate for a date.
"Loves long walks" = Drivers license revoked.
"Dutch treat" = You pay the $50.00 tab, they leave a $5.00 tip.
"Career minded" = Unemployed.
"Marriage minded = Visa due to expire, need citizenship.
"Spiritual" = Bible thumper.
"Financially secure" = Yea cuz ya never paid me back that $200.00
"Adventurous" = Umm, no thanks. I saw that movie "Deliverance"
"Open minded" = Multiple personality disorder.
"Spontaneous" = Constantly calls and wakes you up.
"Body type: Athletic" = Be very careful on this one. Sumo wrestlers are athletes too right?
Misconceptions about occupations:
"Law enforcement" = Mall security.
"Self employed" = Drug dealer.
"Customer service" = Would you like fries with that?.
