How to shower

FL Knifemaker

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How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.



How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your
armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor
because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you
pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
 
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