good jokes!

[hayabusa_83]

if your like me,you love jokes and little one-liners. post away guys!

heard this one the other day: INCEST


A girl  went up to her dad the other day, and said, "dad, its friday night,  and i want to use the car to go out!" he replied. " sure! but you know whatcha have to do first, gimme some oral! so she got down to business.....moments later, she says, " dad your *$%^ tastes like ####!" he quickly replied, "Oh, i forgot, your brother asked to use the car earlier today!"  

i know, sick and twisted but arent we all!?!?

 

[Devil Dog]

Thats a lame and tasteless joke. Just my opinion.

 

[PACIFICBUSA]

Dirty Joke:






The white horse fell in the mud.

 

[Charlesbusa]

 

[USMCBUSA]

That's just wrong.

 

[train460]

3rd grade teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word beautiful in a sentance twice. Little tammy raised her hand and said. "last night my mom tried on a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful". little cindy raised her hand and when called on said " last night my mom had a beautiful dinner party and it turned out to be just beautiful".
Little heathin Timmy had his hand raised, and the teach thinking there was no way that he could basturdize that word so gave him the ok. he said.
"last night my 15 year old sister at the dinner table told our dad that she was pregnant. and dad replied beautiful, just, f*cking, beautiful".

 

[train460]

a penguin takes his car to the shop to get looked at. while the guy is looking at it the penguin goes across the street to the ice cream parlor.
After getting a triple dip vanilla cone, the penguin having no hands gets most of the ice cream on his face and down his front. going back to the shop and approaches the mechanic for a progress report. the mechanic replies " It looks like you've blown a seal"
the penguin replies "Oh no, that's just ice cream"

 

[GJoker]

Old farm couple laying in bed,, Wilber rolls over and grabs a hand full of Martha's left boob and say, "You know, if we can get milk outta these we can sell the cows." Martha smacks him upside the head and rolls to the other side of the bed~ Wilber cudles up to her and reaches around and begins petting the muff patch~ While doing so he says, "You know, if we could get eggs from this we could sell the chickens." Martha smacks him upside the head again..."Just go to sleep!", she says~ Just as Wilber's about to doze off Martha reaches over and begins to gently stroke 'Mr. Winky' and whispers in his ear, "You know, if you could get this hard we could sell the mule!"

 

[GSXRFANN]

That was just cold!!!!