Funny video

woodrrow

Registered
I'm pretty sure this guy's putting on a show, regardless, I thought it was pretty funny the stuff coming out of his mouth..

 
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:rofl:

Can I write a letter to his shrink, he needs his meds adjusted :rulez:

That end bit reminds me of George Carlin :laugh:


PHP:
I don't talk about myself much in my shows, you know? It's just really not my style. But I had an incident in traffic recently that I think I oughta tell ya about...and there's a couple things about me you oughta know first - I drive kinda recklessly, I take lots of chances, I never repair my vehicles, and I don't believe in traffic laws! :)

So...I tend to have a high number of traffic accidents and, last week, I either ran over a sheep...or I ran over a small man wearing a sheep skin coat. And I dunno for sure cuz I didn't stop. I do not stop when I have a traffic accident, do you? No, you can't! Hey - who has TIME?!?! Not me! When I hit somebody or run somebody over *whistle* I keep moving! Especially if I injured someone! I do not get involved with that...I'm not a doctor, I've had no medical training. I'm just another guy driving around looking for a little fun and I can't be stopping for everything!

Welp, let's look at it logically here - If you DO stop at the scene of the accident, all you do is add to the confusion. These people you've just ran over have enough troubles of their own without you stopping by making things worse! Leave these poor people alone - they've just been in a major traffic accident, right?!? See, that's the last thing they need! The last thing they need is for you to stop, get out of the car, and go over to the fire (because, by now, it IS a fire...) and start bothering them with a lot of stupid questions...

"Hey, are you hurt?!?"

Of course they're hurt - LOOK AT ALL THE BLOOD!!!!

Afterall, you've just ran over them with over a ton and a half of steel! Damn right, they're hurt so leave these people alone! Haven't you done enough?!? For Christ's sakes, for once in your life, do the decent thing - DON'T GET INVOLVED! Why? Hell, in the first place, it's none of your business. That's right - none of your business! The whole accident took place outside of your damn car. Legally speaking, these people you ran over were not on your property at the time you ran them over. They were standing in the street, which is CITY property, therefore you are not responsible. If they don't like it, let 'em sue the city. And besides...it happened back there! It's over now - stop living in the past! Do yourself a favor - move along and count your blessings and be glad it wasn't you, okay?!?

And I'll give you a practical reason not to stop. You want a practical reason?!? Fine - If you DO stop ... sooner or later, the police will show up! Is that what you want, eh?!? Wasting more of your time standing around filling out forms and answering alot of foolish questions?!? Lying to the authorities?!?!? And, by the way, who in the hell are YOU to be taking up the valuable time of the city police department?!? These people are professionals and are supposed to be fighting crime - stop interfering with police!!

And besides ... did anyone else see this accident? Are you the only one that can provide information?!? Surely the people you ran over caught a glimpse of it at the last moment!! So? Well, let them tell the police what happened! Afterall, they were a lot closer to it than you were! There's no sense in having two completely conflicting stories floating around about the same, dumbass, traffic accident. Things are bad enough - people are dead, families have been destroyed...*snap*...TIME TO GET MOVING!

On the other hand, if I should be out driving around looking for a little fun and I happen to see an accident (one that I myself aren't involved in) ... I STOP IMMEDIATELY!. Well, I wanna get a good look at what's going on. I enjoy that sort of thing! Someone else is injured?!?! I wanna take a look - I am Curious George!! You know? Weeeeel, some people don't like that, and the police really don't like that. They say that you're rubber-necking and blocking traffic. HAHA - nevermind that ****, I wanna take a look! I'm never too busy to stop and enjoy someone else's suffering!

And - I'll tell ya something else - I'm a BIG FAN of traffic accidents. Love 'em! Big time fan of traffic accidents right here. You know my favorite kind of traffic accident is?!? Two Greyhound buses and a chicken truck!!! Getting hit by a circus train in front of a flea market! Well, I'm looking for something interesting and I wanna see a neck sticking out of a gas tank! What the hell - if I'm gonna take the time to stop, I expect a coupla f**king laughs!!

And, if my car happens to be in a position where I can not see what's going on or if I can't get a good enough look, I'm not the least bit shy about asking the police if they would be so kind to bring the bodies a little closer to my car. "Pardon me, officers, but would you mind dragging that twisted little chap over there a bit closer to the car, please? My wife's never seen someone shaped quite like that before ... Awww, lookit that, Sugarlips! That's his ribcage jutting out of the glove compartment! Thank ya, officers - that'll be all for now. You can throw him back on the pile...and we'll be moving along!"

And off I go onto the highway, looking for a little fun ... hoping to find another good, entertaining, traffic accident! Perhaps a tanker truck filled with human waste will explode in front of the Pokemon factory?!?

--Carlin--

Dailymotion - should you get involed in traffic accident
 
He may be putting on a show, but I wonder how many of us have done that... :whistle:

What? Just me? :moon:

:laugh:
 
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