European Spelling

Dustman

Hayabusa Immortal
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Here it is - the latest news from Europe

The News Standard has received this bulletin fresh from our Brussels-based hack. The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by v During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
 

jwcfbd

Administrator
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U realy do hav to muc fre time don't U.  Now I have to go find some asprin for the headache I got tring to read that post.
laugh.gif
 

Dustman

Hayabusa Immortal
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Free time!? Whats that? This is just stuff I come across while taking a break from work. You guys are lucky I don't have "free time".
 

NightStalker

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drink.gif

hehe, I just came to the realisation that it's not english or german they chose for they euro language, it's english by germans ... nice compromise
 

Jester0769

Hayabusa Master
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now that was sum funny stuff if you ask me. I had flash backs fo Con. Klink and Slutz. I know Nothing!!!
 

cache

Banned
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling



by Mark Twain


For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s," and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c," "y" and "x"--bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez--tu riplais "ch," "sh," and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
 

Big O

Physicist Genii
Donating Member
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Den agen, over hear inna Stayts, wit da popalarity uv contry moosik an all, folks myt fynaly start speekin' Americun fer wons.

But I'd be like Dood! No waay! Like I went to like school and stuff, right?, so I'm all no waay, I'm talking like that!
 

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