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Area husband pretends to give a ####
Lafayette, Ga. -- Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's
incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband
Chris Woodman pretended to give a #### Tuesday as
his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series
of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of
unrelated, unimportant subjects.
According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless
conversation - which comprehensively detailed his
wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the
evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took
place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette
home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman
began watching television in an effort to unwind from
work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk
sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field
technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted
to just come home [from work] and chill out for
awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these
long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff.
I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."
Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh,"
Woodman pretended to give a #### about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m.,
when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly
Smith.
"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit
the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.
Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after -
work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-#### veneer was not a complete waste.
"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally
drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I
was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few
nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."
In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping
trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say
"Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a ####.
Woodman said he often pretends to give a #### about what his wife says.
"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of
the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that
the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."
Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling.
Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."
After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a #### about what his wife
says is vital to the health of their relationship.
"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No
kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just
walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just
coming right out and saying that she's boring me."
"I pretend to give a #### because I care," Woodman added.
July 2002
© 2001 - 2002 Blue V Productions, LLC, All rights reserved. Search | Contact | Legal | Subscribe | Newsletter
Page 2 of 2 Area husband pretends to give a ####
7/25/2002
Archives
Area husband pretends to give a ####
Lafayette, Ga. -- Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's
incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband
Chris Woodman pretended to give a #### Tuesday as
his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series
of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of
unrelated, unimportant subjects.
According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless
conversation - which comprehensively detailed his
wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the
evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took
place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette
home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman
began watching television in an effort to unwind from
work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk
sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field
technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted
to just come home [from work] and chill out for
awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these
long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff.
I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."
Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh,"
Woodman pretended to give a #### about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m.,
when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly
Smith.
"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit
the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.
Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after -
work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-#### veneer was not a complete waste.
"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally
drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I
was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few
nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."
In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping
trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say
"Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a ####.
Woodman said he often pretends to give a #### about what his wife says.
"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of
the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that
the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."
Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling.
Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."
After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a #### about what his wife
says is vital to the health of their relationship.
"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No
kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just
walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just
coming right out and saying that she's boring me."
"I pretend to give a #### because I care," Woodman added.
July 2002
© 2001 - 2002 Blue V Productions, LLC, All rights reserved. Search | Contact | Legal | Subscribe | Newsletter
Page 2 of 2 Area husband pretends to give a ####
7/25/2002
