FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump died, and goes to Heaven.
He is
at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed, and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination
for
everyone. The test is short, but
you have to pass it, before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir.
But
nobody ever told me, about any entrance exam. I shor hope that the Test
ain't too hard, life was a big enough test, as it was."
St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test
is
only three questions. First: What two days of the week, begins with the
letter "T"? Second: How many seconds, are there, in a year? Third: What
is
God's first name?" Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day, and sees St. Peter, who waved him up,
and
said, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell
me
your answers." Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days
in
the week, begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That
would
be,today and tomorrow. "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but
you do
have a point, and I
guess, I did not specify, so I will give you credit, for that
answer.
How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied
Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk, a bout that, and I guess the only
answer,
can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,
how in
Heaven's name, could you come up, with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest
replied, "Shucks, there is got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,
,
etc.etc.." "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going
with
this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in
mind.....but I will have to give you credit, for that one, too. Let us
go
on, with the third, and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?
"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated,
and
frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand, how you came up, with your
answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world, did you
come
up with, the name Andy, as the first name of God?" "Shucks, that was
the
easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the
song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest,
run."
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump died, and goes to Heaven.
He is
at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed, and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination
for
everyone. The test is short, but
you have to pass it, before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir.
But
nobody ever told me, about any entrance exam. I shor hope that the Test
ain't too hard, life was a big enough test, as it was."
St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test
is
only three questions. First: What two days of the week, begins with the
letter "T"? Second: How many seconds, are there, in a year? Third: What
is
God's first name?" Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day, and sees St. Peter, who waved him up,
and
said, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell
me
your answers." Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days
in
the week, begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That
would
be,today and tomorrow. "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but
you do
have a point, and I
guess, I did not specify, so I will give you credit, for that
answer.
How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied
Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk, a bout that, and I guess the only
answer,
can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,
how in
Heaven's name, could you come up, with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest
replied, "Shucks, there is got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,
,
etc.etc.." "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going
with
this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in
mind.....but I will have to give you credit, for that one, too. Let us
go
on, with the third, and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?
"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated,
and
frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand, how you came up, with your
answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world, did you
come
up with, the name Andy, as the first name of God?" "Shucks, that was
the
easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the
song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest,
run."
