gurrera
Registered
A little
girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it
was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I
get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if
Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied,
'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said,
'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six
year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou
shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white,
Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my
hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'I love this one!!!
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher,
she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
T he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
'Take all you want. God is watching the
apples...'
Gurrera
girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it
was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I
get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if
Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied,
'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said,
'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six
year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou
shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white,
Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my
hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'I love this one!!!
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher,
she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
T he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
'Take all you want. God is watching the
apples...'
Gurrera
