Yo Momma Jokes
- Thread starter MuggaX
- Start date
Your Momma's so fat her blood type is ragu...
Your Mommas so fat she sweats Crisco
Your Momma's so fat her clothes have stretch Marks
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out...
Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals.
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked when she lays down...people say I didn't know we had mountains.
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said crabs.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
Yo mama's so old, she used to baby sit Yoda.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Your Mommas so fat she sweats Crisco
Your Momma's so fat her clothes have stretch Marks
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out...
Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals.
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked when she lays down...people say I didn't know we had mountains.
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said crabs.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
Yo mama's so old, she used to baby sit Yoda.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Now that's what I call..."Thick in the waist and takin' up space..."
Brian
....yo momma so fat that when she dun liff up her chin ,
the back o her neck look like a pack o weiners .
the back o her neck look like a pack o weiners .
yo momma so fat , post office dun give her ,her own zip code.
yer big-fat-stupid-momma , was sittin on the bus one day,ridin' home to the projects . She was just sittin' there enjoyin' her "twenty-one piece meal" from KFC . She was chewin' an' lickin' that chicken like a dog . Then the bus stopped . Picked up a couple more passengers . One of the passengers came an' sat directly across from BIG-FAT-MOMMA . He was one of them punk rockers . You know with chains n' leather,an' one of them multi colored green,red,an orange mohawk hair-cuts. So Momma started staring at him . Finally...the punk got pissed off....and pointing to his multi-colored hairdo...an said , "Whats yer problem Fat-MOMMA , have'nt you ever done anything stupid in yer life ?"
An' Fat-Momma say's ...."Well sure I have, I slept with a parrot once,and I was just wondering if you might be my son."
An' Fat-Momma say's ...."Well sure I have, I slept with a parrot once,and I was just wondering if you might be my son."
Ononewheel
Registered
Yo mama has a metal afro with rusty sideburns
yo mama is so fat that when she went into your house the tires popped
yo mama has an afro with a chinstrap
Yo mama is so hairy that when bigfoot asked her out she said no because she already had a date with snuffaluffagus
yo mama is so fat that when she went into your house the tires popped
yo mama has an afro with a chinstrap
Yo mama is so hairy that when bigfoot asked her out she said no because she already had a date with snuffaluffagus
FomerBearGoneBad
Registered
You mamma so fat, her left butt cheek says "Space for Rent" and the right says "Place Ad Here"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
everytime we tried to hang a picture of her, it ripped out the nail and fell off the wall!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Bush Gardens."
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her legs are the official supplier for the entire Hair Club for Men.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she has dreadlocks on her back.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her breasts look like coconuts.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea (it didn't used to be Dead).
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her college graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she makes blind children cry.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she could sell shade.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo Mamma is so old,
her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I can f*ck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bit the dog and gave it rabies
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
everytime we tried to hang a picture of her, it ripped out the nail and fell off the wall!
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Bush Gardens."
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her legs are the official supplier for the entire Hair Club for Men.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she has dreadlocks on her back.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her breasts look like coconuts.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea (it didn't used to be Dead).
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo Mamma is so fat,
her college graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
she makes blind children cry.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she could sell shade.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
Yo Mamma is so fat,
The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo Mamma is so old,
her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I can f*ck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bit the dog and gave it rabies
Yo Mamma is so fat,
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
didnt see this posted yet unless I missed it :
" Yo mama so fat, when she undress, look like a can o biskets done busted open! "
" Yo mama so fat, when she undress, look like a can o biskets done busted open! "
Yo momma's soooooo ugly, when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her!
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow.... I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo momma smells like hot a$$ on a cold day!
Yo momma's so greazy, she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo momma's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it!
Yo momma's so fat, i had to roll over twice to get off of her!
Yo mamma's is so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out!
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow.... I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo momma smells like hot a$$ on a cold day!
Yo momma's so greazy, she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo momma's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it!
Yo momma's so fat, i had to roll over twice to get off of her!
Yo mamma's is so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out!
vermin913
Registered
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
what did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm:
how are we suposed to find the egg with all this poop in here
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
what did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm:
how are we suposed to find the egg with all this poop in here
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