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- Thread starter ditchdr
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ditchdr
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Ok got a bit of free time so let me expand on the reader digest version I gave a few days ago.
Lets see where do I start. Hey why not with the catalyst that kicked all this off. Some of you know I suffer from anxiety real bad. At one point I was housebound and unable to leave. To put it bluntly it cost me EVERYTHING, g/f, job, car, house, everything. I know many dont understand it, and feel I am weak because of it. All I can say is dont be so quick to judge. Now knowing that, lets get back to our story, or at least start it.
So I get the job at MUSC, I was happy as a clam. I was working at the best hospital in the state, home life was good, even had some "extra" money in my pocket. Well about the time I head into orientation my old buddy anxiety showed up. Seems when life is good, he gets pissed and starts to throw a hissy fit. Anyhow my job offer was taken off the table by my nurse manager. No I did not try to enplane my situation to her as I am sure she did not care. So I go home and i tell Jessica about it, and lets say she was not happy. I cant say I blame her for it. It has been 8 years of broken promises, and not following through on things that had put her at the limit. So after a few days we talked and she told me she is "done". Ok fine what does that mean. Well it means I no longer live in the house I provide for her, my son and my self. Well that dont seem fair ya know, but hey whatever so long as my son has a roof over his head clothes on his back and food in his tummy I will be fine. The first few nights I crashed a few couches as friends houses, and one night in my truck, talk about uncomffy. So i went into I need money mode. I took up as many lawn jobs as I could, sold what ever I had, and made it a point to get my life back. I sold one of the Honda cb750's I had, as well as a lot of other bike related stuff, got my ass a extended stay hotel, a hair cut, and used the computer at the library to find me a job. I am happy to report that I do have a job with Hanahan fire/ems, the town I live in , and I am looking for a house to rent. Jessica and I are on speaking terms, and I am staying in our house for the time being until I can afford to move out. Jake is very upset about all of it but I am sure he will calm down once he knows Daddy is not going to leave him.
So there you have it, ever wanted a first hand story on how a simple yet wildly misunderstood illness can ruin your life twice? Well now ya do. So 2 times i have lost it all, only this time I would rather be dead then to go through it again. I am going to get help from a Dr, a Dr who wants to treat and cure the problem, not just put me on some drugs this time. I am sick of a simple patch job, I want to be cured, and will not stop until I am.
Lets see where do I start. Hey why not with the catalyst that kicked all this off. Some of you know I suffer from anxiety real bad. At one point I was housebound and unable to leave. To put it bluntly it cost me EVERYTHING, g/f, job, car, house, everything. I know many dont understand it, and feel I am weak because of it. All I can say is dont be so quick to judge. Now knowing that, lets get back to our story, or at least start it.
So I get the job at MUSC, I was happy as a clam. I was working at the best hospital in the state, home life was good, even had some "extra" money in my pocket. Well about the time I head into orientation my old buddy anxiety showed up. Seems when life is good, he gets pissed and starts to throw a hissy fit. Anyhow my job offer was taken off the table by my nurse manager. No I did not try to enplane my situation to her as I am sure she did not care. So I go home and i tell Jessica about it, and lets say she was not happy. I cant say I blame her for it. It has been 8 years of broken promises, and not following through on things that had put her at the limit. So after a few days we talked and she told me she is "done". Ok fine what does that mean. Well it means I no longer live in the house I provide for her, my son and my self. Well that dont seem fair ya know, but hey whatever so long as my son has a roof over his head clothes on his back and food in his tummy I will be fine. The first few nights I crashed a few couches as friends houses, and one night in my truck, talk about uncomffy. So i went into I need money mode. I took up as many lawn jobs as I could, sold what ever I had, and made it a point to get my life back. I sold one of the Honda cb750's I had, as well as a lot of other bike related stuff, got my ass a extended stay hotel, a hair cut, and used the computer at the library to find me a job. I am happy to report that I do have a job with Hanahan fire/ems, the town I live in , and I am looking for a house to rent. Jessica and I are on speaking terms, and I am staying in our house for the time being until I can afford to move out. Jake is very upset about all of it but I am sure he will calm down once he knows Daddy is not going to leave him.
So there you have it, ever wanted a first hand story on how a simple yet wildly misunderstood illness can ruin your life twice? Well now ya do. So 2 times i have lost it all, only this time I would rather be dead then to go through it again. I am going to get help from a Dr, a Dr who wants to treat and cure the problem, not just put me on some drugs this time. I am sick of a simple patch job, I want to be cured, and will not stop until I am.
newman
Registered
I understand what you are going through, lets just say I've had problems in the past, and I definitely don't think you are weak.
A lot of people judge you when you have a mental illness, I don't know why.
Like anything else you don't know what it's like until you have been through it.
Anyway I hope you sort everything out, and good luck for the future.
A lot of people judge you when you have a mental illness, I don't know why.
Like anything else you don't know what it's like until you have been through it.
Anyway I hope you sort everything out, and good luck for the future.
Good for you denial is out the way and your taking the steps to a brighter future and life for you and the kid..I will keep you in my prayers..
lease: for ya! Hope this dark cloud has a silver lining.. Wait.....you walked away from your Son? Or is the son still with you?
I can sympathize with the anxiety/medical issues, but I read that as you walked out of your home and gave the parenting duties of your son to your gf? Maybe i just read that wrong?
Anxiety is a *****! I hope you can find a way to conquer your problems. I'm also confused that you originally noted your sig other as "wife" but then called her a GF? ???
I can sympathize with the anxiety/medical issues, but I read that as you walked out of your home and gave the parenting duties of your son to your gf? Maybe i just read that wrong?
Anxiety is a *****! I hope you can find a way to conquer your problems. I'm also confused that you originally noted your sig other as "wife" but then called her a GF? ???
He's her Baby Daddy, best of luck in all things sir. Better days ahead my friend.
Keep your head up broham, we still need to catch up sometime soon
ditchdr
Registered
Keep your head up broham, we still need to catch up sometime soon
Next Thursday night at Market Street Saloon would be a good time to catch up lol.
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