g/f needs help, child custody issue

[HRHDi]

Good luck, again. This is so hard. An adequate (not even good) attorney should be able to get this straightened out. Sounds like there's enough documentation that it's just a matter of time.

But in the mean time, the child is the one who's truly suffering. As hard as it is for the adults, they more or less understand. He is a child and doesn't know about the workings of court/adult vindictiveness. It might be worth looking into a family counselor. Make sure you and your g/f make him feel that he's loved and valued and that you're doing everything you can to give him the best possible life. And absolutely never, ever berate his "sperm donor" in front of him. If you can't say anything positive (sounds like there isn't much there), be as neutral as possible.

 

[mrsBusawhipped]

I have no advice. Just wanted to offer up my prayers for a quick resolution. Good luck on your G/F's exams today. It is the best thing she can do for her son is to pass those test.

 

[VaBusa]

Such a sad turn of events...I hate to see kids suffer at the hands of those that should be sheltering them

Just know she's in our thoughts, as is her son...keep us posted. I'm hoping this all turns around very quickly before any more damage is done...

 

[JR'S BUSA]

Such a sad turn of events...I hate to see kids suffer at the hands of those that should be sheltering them

Just know she's in our thoughts, as is her son...keep us posted.  I'm hoping this all turns around very quickly before any more damage is done...

I agree, prayers are with you

 

[AZIROC]

Based on what I'm hearing this won't be a difficult case! Things to start pressing for...
1. Child support! Arrearage... Plus, any/all medical, school or daycare expenses past/present!
2. Get a child advocate by enlisting the help of a child counselor. They can help her case by giving expert testimony as to the potential damage both emotional/physical that has been inflicted present/past/future...
3. Show the courts his criminal past/present and use this as a shield for visitation. PRESS for supervised visitation! When he doesn't show up keep a record! When he's late, keep a record!
4. IF the Grandparents want to be involved I assume this would be a good thing... Provided the child isn't used as a tool to inflict emotional pain on either party.

i forgot to mention that she did take her son into a consoler a year back for a while back when the father would come by the house on a constant basis drunk and pounding on the door or jump the fence and try to get in the house and it would be at all times of the night, so that scared him really good. but i mentioned to her that she needs to give that info and records to her attorney, but then i found out she already faxed it while she was talking to him after the father took the kid yesterday. i guess her son called her 3 times last night while i was at work. 1st time he wanted some juice but was scared to leave the room he was in, but thankfully she packed a little thermal lunch box thing with juice and snacks for him, the other time he was crying cause he didnt wanna be there so she read him another story and the last time was cause he missed her and wanted to talk with her but fell asleep a few mins after talking

oh, and good news, she just called and said she aced her exams. looks like next fri when she graduates she will be an official doctor

and she already got a job at a local children's hospital

 

[Fate]

Is there any way to prove the judge was friends and had knowlege of case prior to case being brought before the court? That is conflict of interest. Hopefully new attorney uses that to his advantage.

 

[Ezduzit]

Congrats on the exam, you guys have to keep your spirits up, I went through something like that with my wife were her ex would act the same way untill me and him had a talk and since the talk he acts like he has some sense now.

 

[AZIROC]

Is there any way to prove the judge was friends and had knowlege of case prior to case being brought before the court? That is conflict of interest. Hopefully new attorney uses that to his advantage.

from what she told me, she knew OF the judge because that side of the family would always talk about how some friend was a judge

 

[vincent]

Just got done winning my own custody battle.


Get a calender. Write down ALL daily activities done with child. Who takes him to school when, time spent at parks. Time spent on homework. Get written proof from teachers who is dropping child off and picking up from school. What the quality of homework is. Ask the teachers if they would be willing to show up in court. Get same information from any daycare providers. Get as many people as you possibly can who are not family or have a special interest in family (boyfriends/girlfriends) that would be willing to do same.
Ask judge for drug testing. He will have to report for it within 4 hours and if he does test positive he will have to cover the costs. Although if he is clean at that time she will have to cover since she is the one requesting.
Request minors counsel. Simply a lawyer that is not involved with either parent and is supposed to only have the childs interest in mind.

 

[AZIROC]

i will let her know. the main thing right now is her sons school. its only been 2 days but the teacher called her saying he hasnt talked in class and really avoids everyone now *exact opposite of how he was* and even asked the teacher to take him to his moms house cause he doesnt wanna go home "with that guy" . but i guess he has called her saying how if he gives her soem ridiculous amount of money, or sleeps with her, he will drop everything. shes just hung up on him and called her lawyer and told him what just happened. what i dont get is y the lawyer hasnt been ale to cancel that "visitation" thing because of the wellfar of the child yet. id think if the kid keeps calling and crying saying how he always yells at him and hes scared, she has a right to.

 

[AZIROC]

opps.. double post

 

[Jyn]

My kids have visitation with their father 3 sundays a month for 9 hours per visit. My lawyer told me if I feel my kids are in danger I do not have to leave my kids with him. I can simply drive away and go to the nearest police station and tell them the situation. I also have a court order, that he has to take a breathalizer before I leave the kids with him. Believe it or not he sometimes drinks before pickin up the kids and knows he will be given a breathalizer. His new wife tried saying it was his mouthwash that set off the test. Yeah Right!

 

[Luvanicebum]

Just kill him. No doubt, there's a crack head that'll do it for a few rocks.

 

[PocketRocket]

Wow a lot of different thoughts go thru my head .. Record everything!!!Everything said and discussed.... Get the news involved. 99% of the judges & politicians are crocked ( look how the country is being run..) The system is screwed up... In the compent of court was it civil contempt or Criminal contempt? If civil where is the agreement B/T Your G/f and the jugde? if Criminal , what law did she break by speaking? ( Freedom of speach ! ) There are other way to deal with a//holes.. Make sure you and your g/f have witnesses where you were at .. You only get the ammount of justice you can afford. Do you play Hockey? Got a mask? Holloween is too far away..

 

[Wag]

She needs a different attorney. With a history of drug and alcohol abuse, there is no way a legitimate judge would have allowed visitation. A good attorney, of course, would have done whatever it took to get the judge recused, etc. etc and would have won this thing.

--Wag--

 

[JR'S BUSA]

Any updates ?

 

[AZIROC]

*update*

thought i would give everyone an update. long story short, she got her son back friday after he got out of school and he doesnt EVER have to go back to see his father.

All during the last few days HER lawyer has went to court with a different judge and basically won it without her having to even be there. the lawyer showed all the fathers assault charges, DV charges, drug uses, ect... as well as 2 voice mails he left her saying how $ can buy off a judge and if she sleeps with him he will drop everything. so needless to say father is not allowed to be near the child and mother has sole custody of the child and he can never attempt to get custody or even visitation of the child again. and i guess that 1st judge is in some major **** now because of that whole "buy off the judge" voice mail, plus her $500 contempt of court was dropped. i will say it ended up costing some major coin, but it was well worth it. thank you everyone for ur ideas and support

 

[Shanling]

Great ending!

 

[lazy boy]

Ahh, The power of a good lawyer. They cost more but in the end are well worth it. Good luck to you guys.

 

[mrsBusawhipped]

That is great!!