g/f needs help, child custody issue

[AZIROC]

hopefully i dont make this to long.

my girlfriend has a 6 y/o son. from the time she found out she was pregnant the father was not in the picture. * forgot to add that the father was physically abusive to her. would hit and beat her, while she was pregnant, and the few times she tried to make it work after her son was born he would end uphitting or beating her and thats when she would leave* the father is the same age as her, but his family is pretty well off and hes just the lazy off-spring. well hes made it know he doesnt want anything to do with his son and she even won custody of him about 4 years back. hes been know in the past to show up to her house, drunk, high, ect saying how he wants to see his son and her and how he wants to make ti work (only when hes like this..when hes sober he doesnt want to be with them). Well, all of a sudden hes wanted custody. the child literally has no knowledge of who the guy is let alone it is his father, and its not because shes been trying to keep the kid from him, but hes just not wanted anything to do with the kid. well, out of nowhere a few months back she gets a subpoena, for today, from the father saying he wants custody of the kid. fast forward to today. she goes to court, has a lawyer, ect... *later she finds out the judge is a family friend of the father* and "somehow" they get awarded a week visitation starting tonight. so of course the child is crying and not, mostly cause he doesnt want to be away form his mother, but because he is literally going away for a week with complete strangers, and they are staying in state tonight, but going back to Ky for the rest of the week.


so my question is, what can she do? shes appealed the decision, but the soonest she could get another court date is next wed morning (conveniently its after the visitation is done with). the judge also finded her $500 for "talking" when she whispered something to her lawyer.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

Sure wish I had some advise for ya. Sad story.

 

[WuzzaCBXRider]

Sorry but this doesn't make any sense, especially if she had an attorney present. $500 contempt of court fine for speaking with her own attorney? Hard to believe. A temporary custody order could've been obtained that would guarantee the child stays in her state (the home state for jurisdiction over the child) so he doesn't remove the child and try to file custody papers in his home state, until an AZ judge could hear her valid points on the record. That court date would have prevented the child from having to meet these strangers without her supervision. The time for advice was (before) going to court with an idiot for an attorney. No offense meant.

 

[HRHDi]

Wow, that breaks my heart. Here are a couple things...check with the local or state bar association. Sounds like the judge should have recused himself due to his relationship with the family of one party.

This sounds so very conniving, but document, document, document!!! Every time the child is with the father or his family. Every time your g/f has any contact with them.

I would bet that this has something to do with the grandparents wanting to be with their grandchild. They have to know what a waste of DNA their son is, so try to get them on her side. It will probably be really rough, but if she somehow gets them into her son's life, that could get the dead-beat father out of the loop.

Good luck. She really needs you right now, so be there for her as much as possible.

 

[AZIROC]

Sorry but this doesn't make any sense, especially if she had an attorney present. $500 contempt of court fine for speaking with her own attorney? Hard to believe. A temporary custody order could've been obtained that would guarantee the child stays in her state (the home state for jurisdiction over the child) so he doesn't remove the child and try to file custody papers in his home state, until an AZ judge could hear her valid points on the record. That court date would have prevented the child from having to meet these strangers without her supervision. The time for advice was (before) going to court with an idiot for an attorney. No offense meant.

i even asked her if maybe she talked out loud, or made a comment about something to loud, and she said she never did. they time she got fined, the other side said how he tried to see her son and she wouldnt let him. she whispered to her lawyer that that he never did that and is just making it up. thats when the judge just jumped down her throat and fined her $500. she also said the whole time the family would make up lies and the judge would listen to them, but when it was her time to talk, the judge would just be all over her like she was the "bad guy". yeah, the lawyer she had, needless to say, literally jsut sat there. she had her own, but her brother said to use this guy because he helped him in some court issue (forget what it was at the moment) and yea.. besides the whole visitation thing, she pissed at this lawyer.

 

[MrsGrumpy]

This sounds so very conniving, but document, document, document!!!  Every time the child is with the father or his family.  Every time your g/f has any contact with them.

Just like she said....document EVERYTHING! This is the only way to win in the end. Oh....and ask for a new judge. Due to the fact that he knows the family personally.

 

[twotonevert]

Dude, I know this may seem like an emergency, you need to hit up Mrs. Omslaw. I hope to goodness I have not spoken out of turn.

 

[AZIROC]

Wow, that breaks my heart. Here are a couple things...check with the local or state bar association. Sounds like the judge should have recused himself due to his relationship with the family of one party.

This sounds so very conniving, but document, document, document!!! Every time the child is with the father or his family. Every time your g/f has any contact with them.

I would bet that this has something to do with the grandparents wanting to be with their grandchild. They have to know what a waste of DNA their son is, so try to get them on her side. It will probably be really rough, but if she somehow gets them into her son's life, that could get the dead-beat father out of the loop.

Good luck. She really needs you right now, so be there for her as much as possible.

thats what i didnt understand, why the judge was allowed to sit on the bench since he knew 1 side. yeah, i think it is more of the grand parents want to see their grand child. and i guess the only "positive" is she does trust the grandparents, but she knows he has a temper and is more afraid that her son is going be crying or doing something and is afraid he may hit him.

 

[05 Busa LE]

Judges will typically warn a party and their lawyer that a sanction is going to be imposed if the offending conduct doesn't stop. I'd bet there was some warning.

And the only thing in PA that gets more immediate relief is to seek a temporary restraining order (what it's called in federal court) or a special injunction (what it's called in state court). Pretty expensive, though, and you're going to have to prove that the judge should have recused himself/herself, but didn't.

Good luck.

 

[AZIROC]

Judges will typically warn a party and their lawyer that a sanction is going to be imposed if the offending conduct doesn't stop. I'd bet there was some warning.

And the only thing in PA that gets more immediate relief is to seek a temporary restraining order (what it's called in federal court) or a special injunction (what it's called in state court). Pretty expensive, though, and you're going to have to prove that the judge should have recused himself/herself, but didn't.

Good luck.

she said she never got a warning, it was literally the judge just yelled at her for "talking" and fined her $500. also, she has full custody that he signed over 4 years ago. its just now all of a sudden he wants to see the child.

 

[AZIROC]

well, ill b back on sometime, i guess she just stared packing some cloths for him since they r due to arrive in about 45 mins... and hes crying saying he aint going. not even my child and it breaks my heart to see this. doesnt help 1 bit too that her "final" so she can officially become a doctor is tomorrow morning.

 

[05 Busa LE]

Judges are pretty protective of their courtrooms, and expect a certain level of propriety. Some are more forgiving than others. Anyway, I'm assuming her lawyer was a family lawyer (that is, practices family law), since it's a specialized area of practice.

 

[Tina]

Dude, I know this may seem like an emergency, you need to hit up Mrs. Omslaw. I hope to goodness I have not spoken out of turn.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.  I sent a PM.  Hope I helped.  Good Luck.

 

[Jyn]

So, did the father get visitation for a week or his family? I have had some similar issues but I have a states attorney and I get what I request. Is his behavior documented. Just to protect yourself get a restraining order and call the cops every chance you get for his behavior.

 

[AZIROC]

well she talked to her son today 9she gave him her cell phone/charger and the parents said that THEY will only allow him to call her 2 times a day for 5 mins each. this wasnt per the courts or anything, so she told "grandma" to shove it up her ass and he son cna call whenever he wants. and that was kinda depressing because i guess her son was crying the whole time she was tlaking to him, but she ende dup telling him 1 of his favorite bed time stories and he fell asleep while on the phone. but right after that the father called her and said "so have u learned ur lesson with trying to **** with me" and she just hung up.

but yes, 2 answer ur question, at the end of the court today, the father somehow got a whole weeks custody starting at 7pm that night.  

i guess she just got off the phone with her lawyer (not the 1 at the trial) and hes already got stuff going, plus addition police reports showing the Domestic violence the father did to the her, as well as a current g/f that he beat 3 months ago. and she also found out that her 2 step sisters wrote some statements about her saying how she was an unfit perent and slept around with guys (both are complete polar opposites from the truth). and infact 1 of the sisters, she has custody of HER to sons, because she literally said i dont want them and wouldnt feed them/bath them, ect.. so after a while of her taking car of the sisters 2 kids, she filed for custody and the sister gladly signed the 2 kids away.  i guess she has to go to Tx sometime in july to where its the final case if she gets complete custody and the mother can never try 2 get her kids back.

 

[Jyn]

I feel really bad for what your g/f is going through and hope it all turns out for the best. I can imagine the pain she has and my thought are with the both of you! Good luck!

 

[ks-waterbug]

Sounds like things aren't going so well... But, I imagine there is a whole lot more to this story. Personally none of our business, I see two sides to this and every story. If what your telling us is true should be relatively easy to force the father into a visitation arrangement that is supervised. Not sure if your state has grandparental rights or not. Your GF needs to do herself a favor and get the best attorney money can buy. Trust me in that the extra money they cost up front will be better spent then the money you save with the attorney who loses on almost every motion... Now about that diary if she's not keeping one Yesterday was the time to start! Don't argue with the other side in front of the child it won't solve anything and only makes the situation worse emotionally for her son. She will come out on top if she just sticks to her guns with the legal system. Somethings to consider...

1. Is the father paying child support? Is he current?
2. Does HE take care of their child when he's with him? NOT the Grandparents...
3. Is HE gainfully employeed? Does he have his own place?
4. Whats his criminal past? Finally, when the child is with him does he make sure the child is feed? In clean clothes? Is he punctional? Etc... KEEP A DIARY!

 

[needlepimp]

call the local news channel about the judge being a family friend. let the press pick them apart

 

[AZIROC]

Sounds like things aren't going so well... But, I imagine there is a whole lot more to this story. Personally none of our business, I see two sides to this and every story. If what your telling us is true should be relatively easy to force the father into a visitation arrangement that is supervised. Not sure if your state has grandparental rights or not. Your GF needs to do herself a favor and get the best attorney money can buy. Trust me in that the extra money they cost up front will be better spent then the money you save with the attorney who loses on almost every motion... Now about that diary if she's not keeping one Yesterday was the time to start! Don't argue with the other side in front of the child it won't solve anything and only makes the situation worse emotionally for her son. She will come out on top if she just sticks to her guns with the legal system. Somethings to consider...

1. Is the father paying child support? Is he current?
2. Does HE take care of their child when he's with him? NOT the Grandparents...
3. Is HE gainfully employeed? Does he have his own place?
4. Whats his criminal past? Finally, when the child is with him does he make sure the child is feed? In clean clothes? Is he punctional? Etc... KEEP A DIARY!

well, the lawyer she had at the hearing was suggested by her brother and the lawyer she had, since she didnt "need" him, he went out of town on another case.. unfortunaly, the attorny the brother suggested literally didnt do a damn thing and let whatever happen. the lawyer she had originally she got in contact with basically after the case was over and she filed to appeal/greive the decision. i guess the lawyer at her hearing didnt bring up any of the police reports she had showing the domectic violence he did to her as wel las all the other drug and assult charges/report.

1. no, father nvr paid child support. he wanted nothing to d owith her or the child when he found out she was pregnant and after she had the child. 4 years ago when she filed for sole custody, she said she would not go after him for back child support if he signed over the child to her and he never tried to get involved with him ever again, and which he did sign.

2. the childs never been with the father because of reason above. the child has SEEN the father, but never stayed with him. right now the child is with the father and grandparents at the grandparents house

3. no, hes living of his very well off parents money. has no job, and literaly just gets drunk and does drugs and plays the "im rich so u should get with me" card on chicks. he does have his own place, but all paid for by parents

4. as far as i know, hus criminal past has drugs, domestic violence (mother of child as well as other women), fights.. ect. as far as the rest, idk, this is the 1st night the child has ever been away from his mother. the child called his mother tonight crying saying how he was scared and didnt like being there.

 

[ks-waterbug]

Based on what I'm hearing this won't be a difficult case! Things to start pressing for...
1. Child support! Arrearage... Plus, any/all medical, school or daycare expenses past/present!
2. Get a child advocate by enlisting the help of a child counselor. They can help her case by giving expert testimony as to the potential damage both emotional/physical that has been inflicted present/past/future...
3. Show the courts his criminal past/present and use this as a shield for visitation. PRESS for supervised visitation! When he doesn't show up keep a record! When he's late, keep a record!
4. IF the Grandparents want to be involved I assume this would be a good thing... Provided the child isn't used as a tool to inflict emotional pain on either party.