What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple
Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy
How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail
Why does Santa go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y
What did the elf sing at the Frosty's Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments
Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
Elk-a-seltzer
How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the deer-bell
What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down
Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was elf-taught
Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low elf esteem!
How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet
Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis
A pineapple
Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy
How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail
Why does Santa go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y
What did the elf sing at the Frosty's Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments
Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
Elk-a-seltzer
How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the deer-bell
What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down
Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was elf-taught
Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low elf esteem!
How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet
Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis
