Woman advice...

[yamahor]

So, Long story short, Sarah (lady I've been on some dates with) and I haven't been on dates lately, and we never said if we're an "official Item" for lack of a better term... So, it almost seemed like she was trying to avoid the last date I asked her on, so i just gave up (whatever, no skin off my back)... Well, I went to Tikvat (Messianic Jewish Synagogue I go to occasionally) and was talking to LaJean, a lady there, and I'm kinda liking her. Well on the 1 1/2 hr drive back, my friend Benita and I were talking about this... She was thinking I was diggin on LaJean too. We get along pretty well, and I was debating asking her out the first time we met, but she was going on a missions trip to the Ukraine, and I thought she was going there for a long time, so I didn't bother. Well, she's back, I don't know if she's single... and the thing with Sarah... Oh yeah, that...

So, I'm at work the following Monday, and Sarah swung by. We talked for a bit, but she had to get back to work. I went over there to get a milkshake (got me out of the store, SLOW day), and she said I owe her for making a good milkshake, I told her I'd cook her something one night, and we decided on steaks. Well, her coworker jokingly said "Why don't I get a steak?" and Sarah replied kinda defensively "Why do you think?" I'm getting thrown for loops, on one hand, we've only been on a few dates, and it didn't seem like she's interested... On the other, it seems like she is interested...

So, here's my conundrum... I feel attracted to both almost equally, but keep getting mixed signals from Sarah... LaJean lives about 1 1/2 hrs away, but we seem to have more in common... However, I don't know if she's single... I'm lost as to what to do. What advice do you fine people of the org have for me? Am I thinking too much into it?

Ah the joys of being a single 24 yr old...

Please, no negative responses, unless it's constructive criticism.

 

[BA BUSA]

Ask Sarah out again

 

[stlbusarider]

Im sorry I don't know you so well, so please don't take to much offense to this. I think you need to stop being so timid and just tell her you like her and ask if she's into you. If she is she'll tell you. If she says "I thought we were just friends", then you know for sure. No one likes rejection, but it's a hell of alot better than being strung along. Just my 2 cents.

 

[firebug]

Im sorry I don't know you so well, so please don't take to much offense to this. I think you need to stop being so timid and just tell her you like her and ask if she's into you. If she is she'll tell you. If she says "I thought we were just friends", then you know for sure. No one likes rejection, but it's a hell of alot better than being strung along. Just my 2 cents.

I agree. Just bring it out and get an answer.

 

[GSXRFANN]

Ben, just ask her what the deal is. Plain and simple! Tell her that you aren't going to put up with and on and off relationship. Find out what she wants and expects then take it from there. If she wants a relationship..well great!, if she doesn't, then find out if the other chick wants a baked potato or fries with her steak!!

 

[Justyntym]

 

[EarlyBird]

Dude, the above advice is good advice! Why waste your time waiting around. You gave sometime, but now you need to get this are you or are you not interested in me a rest! Ask her and go from there. I am 33years old and single, and it doesn't get any easier!! Dating women who have had few divorces and then kids in to that dating mix and things get even worse then what you going through. Trust me, get that BS out of the way!

 

[Revlis]

Communication is key big guy, you gotta let the ladies know what it is you are thinking what you are into and looking for.

Trust me on this bro, If I hadn't asked my current wife if she wanted to just hang out and have sex I'd have never gotten to know her as more than just a friend. It was a bold question, seeing as she and I had been friends for a couple of years, but timing is everything and with us both suddenly being single at the same time and both of us being kinda lonely it seemed a fair question. Turned out fantastic...

There's been several other ladies as well bro where clear communication and "being a Man" (not the D0uch3b4g kind, but the daring, confident kind) has made all the difference between "buddies" and "Holy Sh!d was that fun"...

My point Ben is that simply being upfront can really cut through the bullsh!d in a hurry, leaving everyone knowing exactly where they stand. Eliminating the guesswork and simply talking things out can really make all the difference.

I've made lifelong female friends, and I've had a a lot of fun that I wouldn't have otherwise had if I hadn't simply spoken up...

Oh and buy yourself a BMW, just like the Initials imply, it "Brings Me Women"...

Just playing, you don't want anything to do with a lady who's into you because of a car, a bike, or the money you've got...

But having your sh!d together does do wonders for your confidence, and next thing you know women that used to be intimidating or "unapproachable" are easy to talk to. Much of dealing with women successfully is simply being confident and comfortable with yourself. Works great.

So, My

is to simple chill out, figure out which girl does the most for you inside, who makes you happier, and then act honestly and clearly, doesn't mean you have to be an overcompensating douche' but it does mean you can be honest and speak from your heart. Don't over think things.

 

[javie]

Here's some advice from a 22 year old single guy. Two is better than one, especially since one of them lives an hour and a half away, ha.

 

[yamahor]

Thanks everyone. Funny thing is, I can give guys advice that works, as I've seen it all happen, but when I'm the guy in the situation, I can't think of anything. Well, now I know what to do... Just gotta get the balls to actually do it...

 

[yamahor]

Im sorry I don't know you so well, so please don't take to much offense to this. I think you need to stop being so timid and just tell her you like her and ask if she's into you. If she is she'll tell you. If she says "I thought we were just friends", then you know for sure. No one likes rejection, but it's a hell of alot better than being strung along. Just my 2 cents.

None taken. The only offense I take to criticism is when it's non helping, just saying what I'm doing wrong, not any way to fix it.

 

[Luvanicebum]

Read a book called, "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It will answer all of the common mistakes guys make with women.
If you seriously want to dominate over your own fears, read it.

 

[EarlyBird]

all good advice... Ben! Hope it helps! And yes having your $hit together and knowing what you want will help make things easier! My old man once told me to make a list of things you like and do not like about something or even a women! Pick the one with the most positives and go from there, but check that list out once and while to make sure nothing has changed! I think you get the point. Alot of woman out there, but it is hard to find the right one. Take your time, but again know what you want, and know when to move on!! Good Luck!!!

 

[Busasweety]

Finally a status of your situation....was wondering how things were with sarah....now another one?
Great advise from above....be to the point ....dig me or dig me not...that is the question.
When you goto a resturaunt and order your food, you order what you want....you look at gear for riding, you buy what you want....you watch tv and you watch what you want.....get the drift......LIFE is the same you have to find out what you, or other people want.....

PS......have fun

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

Ben, there is NO rule that says you should only date one girl at a time. If you and Sarah are not committed to each other than it's perfectly fine to date another. Don't get so caught up in Boyfriend, Girlfriend stuff. Go on dates to have fun, not to make life long commitments. Just because you like 2 different girls doesn't mean you have to exclude one for the other. Make no promises to either until you know in your heart which one, if either, will be the one for you!
Have fun and enjoy the company each has to offer.

 

[Purple1300]

Finally a status of your situation....was wondering how things were with sarah....now another one?

+1

Some women like to play games (some more than others) to see what kind of power they have over the guy/ situation. Ask Sarah what the deal is with you two and it won't leave any room for games.

I've known poeple who have dated one person for a while but went on other dates with other people until they decided to take their relationship to the next level and commit to one relationship. It's not wrong to date more than one person at a time until you emotionally/ physically/ verbally commit to one person. I say ask Sarah what the status is and and if you agree to commit than commit. If she says she's not sure than ask the other girl out!

 

[Purple1300]

I think we were typing the same thing at the same time Blonde! Two great minds think alike!

So there you go Yamahor.

 

[Jyn]

This is my opinion....
You are over thinking the whole thing. I will make it super easy for ya. Ask Sarah what she wants. The worse she could do is say she doesn't want to date you anymore. Honestly, be up front, if you are thinking it then just ask. Call LeJean, see if she's single. Simple. Maybe one day, I will tell everyone how semi and I started dating. That is a fun story. Kinda on the same lines as this. Kinda! Be honest and upfront, then there is no need for the extra stress. Good Luck!

 

[WWJD]

Woman don't LIKE to play games... they HAVE TO because men aren't MAN enough to make up their minds.

Listen to the GOOD REV a few lines up....

"clear communication and "being a Man" made all the difference"

Don't ASK them... TELL them. Asking them hangs your nads on a post and it's all down hill from there

 

[suzuki4life]

okay now I am confused....I read before that your basis on relationships was not sexually driven. Now staying with the idea you are NOT looking for sex in the nearby future from either girl, then why worry? Live your life. If you want to go out, then ask them and vice versa. You will find out quickly of their intent if they thought of you as an item and you are not available upon their calling. Relationships are stressful and personally in my opinion you are looking for nothing more than building a strong friendship with a future possibility. That is a good standpoint to be at. Live life, ride your bike and focus on yourself (I think you were dieting?) and your future. YOUR HEALTH, YOUR SUCESS, and YOUR GENERAL PLACE IN LIFE is based upon YOUR actions. Let them fill the voids until you wake one morning and realize that they are the one. NEVER EVER place them in the "princess" catagory where you are waiting for them to call you or pushing off other venues in hopes they will present you one. That is a very depressing way to exist....yes exist, not live.

So quit worrying...plenty if fish in the sea, beers to drink and miles to ride....enjoy life.