Thanks for asking guys. I work 5 days a week now,4 hours a day. In January my employer will be officially splitting my job in half.I'll do half the work,someone else will do the afternoon half.(I burn out qwik in the day and just can't manage the whole thing.My first day back I did a few thousand dollars damage to a piece of equipment.I dont think they can afford to have me around the WHOLE day.
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The job will be temporary for a year.The bosses figure this will relieve the pressure I put upon myself and will give me more time to heal (the brain). There are about 4000 employee's where I work.About 4 or 5 years ago the President of the university offered up an award for the best employee.Anyone could nominate anybody they wanted to
ut of 4000 employees there were only 47 nominations. I was one of those 47.Everyone thought I was a shoe-in. Well the award was chosen by the presidents staff who all work on the 4th floor of the presidents building...and no big surprise,the award winner works on that same floor. O well,I wasnt too surprised or pi$$ed off,but alot of folks were. I have to get used to the fact that I will probably never make that list again. Its hard,but thats life,and sometimes life likes to give you a little kick in the ballz.I wont give up thou. So thats how work is going.
At home: I'm very lucky to have a lady like The HouseMouse. She has stood beside me this whole time.While I slurred my words,crawled from bed to toilet to puke.I was afraid to ride in cars. I became a worse azzhole than I was before.Emotions up and down.Anger issues,anxiety,depression,headaches,tons of body pain,you name it. I dropped weight,stopped working out because of the body pain and the fact that I will never lift heavy like I used too.That bummed me out BIGtime. Became a huge alcholic,pill-popper,started smoking like a chimney.I'm getting a better handle on that now,and have some big New Years resolutions. We(the wife and I) met in a motorcycle shop over 10 years ag
ur first date was on a bike.Now I cant ride,and I know she misses it,but she never mentions it.If I get one again some day she says she will have no fear jumpimg back on.She trusts my skillz as a rider. Unfortunately I do not right now.The doctors dont either and have said not to bother applying for it(bike licence) for another year at least.
The finacial side: Because the fugsticks who hit me did not have insurance (which is illegal in Canada) the court case has been going on since July 2005. During this time my employer has not paid me. The insurance company that my lawyer is fighting pays me a whopping 1200.oo a month. Its odd that I'm the one who got fugged over and I'm the one who has to fight "the system". So,with my whopping 1200 all I have to pay is a mortgage...1300 hundred a month,bills, food, insurance, gas,etc etc.
So the finacial side of things adds a pinch more stress to the household.
So here again,I have to thank the HouseMouse.She used to work normal hours 4 days a week. Now she works 9 or 10 hour days, 5 days a week.So add some more stress there.
The Friends: Most have been outstanding.A few stayed away for awhile,they hated seeing me this way.Two of my best friends gave up riding all together because they saw how fugged up I got and they just became scared.The guy who was with me when I crashed gave up riding on the street for about a year,but then went back to it. But he has slowed down.He sold his ZX12 that he used to chase Rubbah with. He bought a harley.
Its hard to visit my buddy Jim. He owns the bike shop where the wife and I met. Its hard for me to hang around the shop.I used to spend hours there.I would turn some wrenches and /or run the counter for him when he needed a hand. I use to sell more for him on a Saturday than his regular counter guy could in a week. Well thats all gone.I just dont have the mental capicity for it any more. I sold all my tools.The welders,compressors,everything. I used to build my own custom choppers,dont think I'll ever be able to do that again.
My dogs: They have suffered bigtime.Walking them hurts my knees,back,etc.
So in order for them to stay healthy I hired a pro dog walker.She is AWESOME. She normally charges 20 bucks an hour for 1 dog.She takes my 3 out,sometimes for 2-3 hours and only charges me the 20 bucks.I have her do that 5 days a week,the HouseMouse takes them out Sat/Sun.The dog walker has got more business because of my dogs.She lets them run off leash and the folks they bump into on trails and at lakes an' such cannot believe how well behaved they are.I wont stand for a shiddy un trained dog.My dogs are awesome,mostly because of my training but also because of her(dog walker).
Driving: I have had my car drivers licence back for about 8 months.I still have some restrictions like no driving in bad weather.The night driving,and driving for work restrictions were recently lifted.I feel good about that,but because of vision probs,plus when I get tired,I start to make mistakes,so I avoid driving alot. I used to love to drive.Now I fuggin hate it. I have over 50 vehicles in my motor pool fleet at work and I have to drive them. I dont however drive the 1 tons,the cube vans,or anything bigger than the mini-vans.
Here at "The Org": Hats off to Doug/The Cap for putting up with me.I have fugged up alot.The mood swings,the anger,all the bullshid that goes along with having yer brains smashed around. He fired me once or twice.He had too.I was a serious azzhole for a while. You start mixing a busted brain with boose and drugs and you can become a giant fuggin loser in a real hurry. I'm much better now thou...
I have always had a bit of an' edge to me,but I went off the deep end a few times. The "mental health police" have had to come to the door once or twice. Lets just say I became somewhat violent at times. I have calmed down alot. I wanted to kill those bastids that did this to me and my fam. I try and keep myself out of situations where I might "go off". I dont go out much,try to avoid bars,large crowds where there might be an' azzhole that needs fixing..."Rubbah Style". hehehehe.
Day to day living: Its just different now.I have to dope myself up to go on holidays.Everything is different.I'm afraid to fly.Afraid of lots of things now.For a guy like me who was fearless...its a huge shi7 pill to have swallow. I was hit in a taxi while on my way to my doctors last year.That did my neck in again,and added to the anxiety bigtime.Day to day can really suck sometimes.
Like the song says..."You dont know what you've got till its gone."
That rings so true when the bottom falls outa yer life.Don't think I'd wish this on anybody,not even those fugs who hit me.I'm not so much angry with them any more.I think now I feel sorry for them. 6 drunkin' First Nations folk (thats the PC term for indians in this part of the world).The driver was on a 24 hour suspension for drinking the night before,so they went back to the reservation and climbed into a van with no insurance and no doors on one side.They re-loaed with boose and hit the hiway.I stopped for a red light...they didnt. They hit me hard enough to break some of there own bones (shoulders,collar bones,etc). This all happened on a beautiful summer day about 11 in the morning. To me that seems like such a sad way to live. But accordiong to alot of indians around here...thats my fault too. They are the way they are because of me...the white-man. Its kinda funny,some of my best friends are indians.When I could golf(before the crash) we would be out on the course in our foursome.Me and 3 indians.hahaha.All with good jobs,great families and upstanding values.My mom and dad adopted an abused indian girl when I was 2 years old.They added her to our family which already had 6 kids.We were not rich either.
I got crashed on a Saturday I think,or maybe a Sunday. On the Monday I was set to take off on "Rubbah's North American Tour". I had invites from lots of the Org members. I had offers of places to stay and visit from Washinton state to New mexico,from Florida to New York,from eastern canda back to where I am in the Pacific. I'm still sad and angry that that was taken away from me.
My wife was in England with her aging Mom.Taking her on the trip of a lifetime. So, I spent the first few weeks after the crash on my own.My wife called on the Monday and asked why I picked up the phone,why was I not on the road. She asked if I was drunk. I was slurring my words. I told her the trip was off and made up some bullshid excuse. I had to lie to her.I knew should would have gathered up her Mom and came straight home.I couldn't stand for that. So I lied. I lied to her,hung up the phone and cried like a fuggin baby. I couldnt have what happened to me affect the holiday of my Mom-in-law.
So now its just day to day. Kick my self in the azz,try and buck up,and get some life back.
BIG BIG thanks to all those that have been there for me. The Org and its generosity helped me in so many ways. I was able to hook up with the Vegas - cali boys and girls because of the generosity of Cap and his wife,and a bunch of the Org members.They covered airfare and spending cash for the wife and I to go.We had a blast. My paypal got out and filled up cash from all over the world. Remeber board member Shenoyp. He phoned me from India to check up on me lots of times.He was worried about my finacial situation aswell. He told me to check my poaypal. He sent me a thousand dollars. YUP,a 1000.oo dollars. I tried to send it back.He just sent it back again. Never met the man in person. This place has quite the collection of fine humans. i think thats why I have always gone a little nutty when some troll of goof gets in here and messes with MY members.
Big big thanks to all of the folks that helped me out.There are dozens of you.You know who you are.One day when this is all over,if I ever get any dough outa this nightmare folks are going to get paid back.Paid back and then some. They opened up their wallets with their hearts,and its one thing I shall never forget.Not just the money either.The phone calls,PM's,emails,offers of invites to their homes,surprise packages in the mail,the list goes on and on.I came home from physio one day to find a brand new xbox on my doorstep.A gift from a member I barely knew and had never met.
BIG BIG THANKS TO ALL. HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND THE BEST NEW YEAR.
WE LOVE YA.
Rubb and The House mouse.
