extreemachine
Never Forgotten
Hang in there Bill, You're in my thoughts my friend! Very deep story! Hang in there! You are doing right in all ways so keep that in mind. Hope the rest of the night is OK!!
I got some serious problems today..
- Thread starter JINKSTER
- Start date
brivision
Registered
Hang in there bro,
I'll be praying for you all. I'm proud of you for facing it head on and doing your best. That's the real mans way to do things. Your daughter will grow through this and by the way you handled it your wife will love and respect you more. Keep the faith and give it some time.
God Bless,
Brian
I'll be praying for you all. I'm proud of you for facing it head on and doing your best. That's the real mans way to do things. Your daughter will grow through this and by the way you handled it your wife will love and respect you more. Keep the faith and give it some time.
God Bless,
Brian
yeow this is a loaded discussion. Unless I am reading the very first paragraph wrong, "grounding her for a month and taking her cell phone away again?...things got physical...and she fought back...15 years old..."
which to me sounds like you started playing hand baby on her, after admitting to being a coke head just short of alcoholic, albeit not for a while- there are serious bells going off.
I know I may have missed some stuff, but I am having real problems with the first few lines. I keep going back to them.........
Frightening. Is your daughter aware of your past? Does it scare her?
which to me sounds like you started playing hand baby on her, after admitting to being a coke head just short of alcoholic, albeit not for a while- there are serious bells going off.
I know I may have missed some stuff, but I am having real problems with the first few lines. I keep going back to them.........
Frightening. Is your daughter aware of your past? Does it scare her?
Bill,
I hate to be the buzz-kill and all, but I'm pressed to ask the question, "Were ya drinkin' at the bash or was this a photo opportunity thing
............."
You don't have to answer this publicly..........
"To thine own self be true" Bruddah............
I hate to be the buzz-kill and all, but I'm pressed to ask the question, "Were ya drinkin' at the bash or was this a photo opportunity thing
You don't have to answer this publicly..........
"To thine own self be true" Bruddah............
No advice, raising kidz iz hell. If you love and care for them.
Rayabusa0818
Never Forgotten
Hang in there Bill...follow your heart and things will work out.
uhmmm...have you ever been to a busa bash?...90% of the people there knock a few back..."AFTER"....the sun goes down....the bikes are parked and we're sitting around the campfire swapping jokes, lies and laughing...but trust me...NOBODY wants to be hung-over the following mornings so...we don't get too gawd aweful carried away with ourselves...well?...maybe a little...but usually on the last night!(Spudley @ Jul. 08 2007,23:22) Bill,
I hate to be the buzz-kill and all, but I'm pressed to ask the question, "Were ya drinkin' at the bash or was this a photo opportunity thing............."
You don't have to answer this publicly..........
"To thine own self be true" Bruddah............
L8R, Bill.
Revvv
Registered
You are already doing what you need to do. You have taken the time to be honest and open with everyone that is concerned.
As for being the parent of a teenager, try and remember all the crap you put your parents through. If my two girls are anything like I was growing up my life will be a miserable hell for a few years.
Continue being open and honest. Make sure you are as involved as possible in your daughter's life. Let her know you care and love her.
As for being the parent of a teenager, try and remember all the crap you put your parents through. If my two girls are anything like I was growing up my life will be a miserable hell for a few years.
Continue being open and honest. Make sure you are as involved as possible in your daughter's life. Let her know you care and love her.
Bill, at the end of the day we are all human. Find any of us that haven't had our share of downs more than ups, and you will find someone that ain't living.
I hope things get better for you with the fam. Whatever you do, NEVER let your past blackmail your future. And don't let anyone around you especially family rake you over the coals for your past indiscretions.
Kids aren't kids anymore. All of this rebellions and uprising is the result of a lack of good azz whoopins at a younger age. My parent beat the fear of God into me and my sister, and now I am an engineer and she is working on a Ph.D.
I say that to say, your kids needs a fire under her azz. Don't let her play you out to be on the wagon just to get the focus off of her fuggups. You seem liek a stand-up dude. It took alot for you to share your demons with us. YOur daughter needs to realize that she is a child and you and your wife are the parents. After that cut the deck.
I hope things get better for you with the fam. Whatever you do, NEVER let your past blackmail your future. And don't let anyone around you especially family rake you over the coals for your past indiscretions.
Kids aren't kids anymore. All of this rebellions and uprising is the result of a lack of good azz whoopins at a younger age. My parent beat the fear of God into me and my sister, and now I am an engineer and she is working on a Ph.D.
I say that to say, your kids needs a fire under her azz. Don't let her play you out to be on the wagon just to get the focus off of her fuggups. You seem liek a stand-up dude. It took alot for you to share your demons with us. YOur daughter needs to realize that she is a child and you and your wife are the parents. After that cut the deck.
Well put.
Jinks, I really am worried that you are letting your family and daughter push you around. Why, because you seem to me, a very caring and genuine person. A lot of times, people will take advantage of that trait and you find yourself bending over backwards to cater to others needs while you get used up. I know you are a Dad and Husband, son etc.... but, you deserve to be treated right and well......................let those without sin cast the first stone.
Sounds like you have already done your part and have been doing your part for past 20 odd years, so it is time for everyone else to just loosen up and get off your back. I mean, what else do they expect from you?
Your daughter is probably being influenced by friends or is just acting out for some reason or other. Heck she probably doesn't even know why herself. It will be a challenge with her but that is the nature of a female child at 15. Just show her love, assure her that you have got her back and I truly believe all will come back to order.
hang in there Bro, and remember 6th gear cures almost all that ills us
As a former rebellious 15 year old girl myself, she's realizing that you are human and right now nothing either of her parents do or say is going to be right.
At least she has a dad - but try to be the best one you can be for the few years left that you have. Honestly, getting fired from subway when you are a teenager is not a big deal but where was she when she said she was at work? I know there is guilt but it's out and now move forward the best that you can and salvage what you can. It's your choice what you want out of your family life.
My daughters almost 3 and I'm not looking forward to her being a teenager at all - at least not the one I was. I'm still making it up to my mom!
At least she has a dad - but try to be the best one you can be for the few years left that you have. Honestly, getting fired from subway when you are a teenager is not a big deal but where was she when she said she was at work? I know there is guilt but it's out and now move forward the best that you can and salvage what you can. It's your choice what you want out of your family life.
My daughters almost 3 and I'm not looking forward to her being a teenager at all - at least not the one I was. I'm still making it up to my mom!
SSP & Jet Li...ya'll are pretty much right on the mark as to how i feel about the whole thing...problem is...this old dogs getting tired of getting wagged by alllll the tails...including my own parents, wife and even my ex father-in-law who was coming at me and ready to duke it out with me yesterday because he bought my daughters theatrics and drama hook, line and sinker...i walked away...ain't no way i'm tangl'in with an old man with a bad heart on his dirt..besides..i sorta admired his willingness to defend...after all...they are my daughters...i don't mind them having excessive protection!(Jet Li @ Jul. 09 2007,12:56)Well put.
Jinks, I really am worried that you are letting your family and daughter push you around. Why, because you seem to me, a very caring and genuine person. A lot of times, people will take advantage of that trait and you find yourself bending over backwards to cater to others needs while you get used up. I know you are a Dad and Husband, son etc.... but, you deserve to be treated right and well......................let those without sin cast the first stone.
Sounds like you have already done your part and have been doing your part for past 20 odd years, so it is time for everyone else to just loosen up and get off your back. I mean, what else do they expect from you?
Your daughter is probably being influenced by friends or is just acting out for some reason or other. Heck she probably doesn't even know why herself. It will be a challenge with her but that is the nature of a female child at 15. Just show her love, assure her that you have got her back and I truly believe all will come back to order.
hang in there Bro, and remember 6th gear cures almost all that ills us
Meanwhile...today?...i'm still numb from hearing what the adult family member opinion of me was yesterday....which was based on lies and theatrics from an extremely devious and cunning daughter.
The wife: Last night she was giving me the silent treatment..and just before retiring to bed i asked if she was okay...she responded..."yes...well?...no."....i figured okay...here we go....and sat down and told her..."Okay...tell me more about the 'well no' part"....then she cut lose...told me that i wasn't any better than our sneaky lying daughter running around behind her back partying all these years...then told me..
"and now that it's out in the open?...your drinking and drugging is just going to get worse and worse and you know it will!"
I reassured her of two things...
1. I'd never "bring it home" and....
2. I ain't stopping...i'm too old with way too little time left to pass up a good time where i get a chance to kick back..relax..enjoy myself, laugh, smile and joke...and if that includes a few beers and/or a puff or two of some imported to relax?...i ain't passing it up as long as it isn't around my kids and that's the way it is...and i'm just being honest with you.
She told me no way...and then i asked her...so every motorcycle rally i go to or anytime i'm running late home from work or playing guitars with my buds from work you're gonne be looking at me cross-eyed like i've been cheating on you cause i had a few beers?...
she gave no response...which in itself?...was her response...and that's when i dropped the bomb...
Okay...if that's the way it is?...and i've treated you so horribly for the past 5 years that you didn't even know i was drinking the occassional beer or smoking a doob?...and that's still how you feel?...like i was cheating on you?...then i can see where you stand...and guess what?..
I WANNA DIVORCE RIGHT FUGG'IN NOW!
CAUSE IF YOU WANNA TREAT ME LIKE THIS AND RAISE SHID LIKE THAT?..
THEN YOU'RE DOING IT ALONE!
the evening didn't end well.
Then i come home from work tonight and she's cleaning and cooking dinner like nothing ever happened...wtf?
anybody gotta clue?...cause i dang sure don't!
L8R, Bill.
as daughters?...teenage girls can be the most beautiful people you'd ever wanna meet...they can also be the most demonic shid that satan himself would refuse to unleash on man...pure evil...and i got 3 of'em...i'm damned and blessed...x's 3....ouch.
Luvanicebum
Registered
Here's my opinion from outside the loop.
Your duaghter doesn't have a clue. Her mind and body are so warped right now, there's no way any decision can be well thought out and even keeled, so don't worry too much about that end of things. Anybody with a half a brain in their head understands that a 15 year old will put on an Oscar winning performance to get their pubescent skewed idealistic way..
The wife thing is so common and quite frankly a pile of BS.
She liked you for the way you were before you commited to eachother, right?
Now that you've made sacrifices and comprimises in the way of your personal habits and friends, social habits, for the common good of your family, she thinks she has "molded" you into her perfect Disney Channel romeo.
So, now she's threatened by old behavior, thinking you are going to return to how you were when you 2 met. Which really means...sorry to say...she never really liked the original YOU! Women are sneaky like that. They play along like they really like your music and friends and the way you speak, then one day out of the blue she says something like "Why did you say that?We can't swear around the children...what's wrong with you" instead, when she used to laugh...There's your sign.
If she did indeed have respect for YOU and cared about your place in her life/future and the way her family sees you both as a unit, she would have never brought your internal marriage problems outside of your immidiate family. Rule #2 No No! Seek professional un-bias counciling, but NEVER get the in-laws and parents involved.
It's time to drop the hatchet, start over and never ever compromise yourself for anyone again.
Your duaghter doesn't have a clue. Her mind and body are so warped right now, there's no way any decision can be well thought out and even keeled, so don't worry too much about that end of things. Anybody with a half a brain in their head understands that a 15 year old will put on an Oscar winning performance to get their pubescent skewed idealistic way..
The wife thing is so common and quite frankly a pile of BS.
She liked you for the way you were before you commited to eachother, right?
Now that you've made sacrifices and comprimises in the way of your personal habits and friends, social habits, for the common good of your family, she thinks she has "molded" you into her perfect Disney Channel romeo.
So, now she's threatened by old behavior, thinking you are going to return to how you were when you 2 met. Which really means...sorry to say...she never really liked the original YOU! Women are sneaky like that. They play along like they really like your music and friends and the way you speak, then one day out of the blue she says something like "Why did you say that?We can't swear around the children...what's wrong with you" instead, when she used to laugh...There's your sign.
If she did indeed have respect for YOU and cared about your place in her life/future and the way her family sees you both as a unit, she would have never brought your internal marriage problems outside of your immidiate family. Rule #2 No No! Seek professional un-bias counciling, but NEVER get the in-laws and parents involved.
It's time to drop the hatchet, start over and never ever compromise yourself for anyone again.
She has to realize where the truth is and know that you're a stand up guy. There's no hidden reality to you and she should be comforted to know that all the ladies in the house are heck of a lot better off with you to care for them. I hope cooler heads will prevail.
I've been through this too. My only regret is that our society has a serious deficiency in parenting skills. Not enough parents are willing to stand up and make unpopular decisions when necessary for the good of the household.
I've been through this too. My only regret is that our society has a serious deficiency in parenting skills. Not enough parents are willing to stand up and make unpopular decisions when necessary for the good of the household.
Jinks, go and get your wife and just let her see what is written under your avatar, Dude. Kinda says it all. I really think even she is being influenced by family peer pressure.(JINKSTER @ Jul. 09 2007,17:50)SSP & Jet Li...ya'll are pretty much right on the mark as to how i feel about the whole thing...problem is...this old dogs getting tired of getting wagged by alllll the tails...including my own parents, wife and even my ex father-in-law who was coming at me and ready to duke it out with me yesterday because he bought my daughters theatrics and drama hook, line and sinker...i walked away...ain't no way i'm tangl'in with an old man with a bad heart on his dirt..besides..i sorta admired his willingness to defend...after all...they are my daughters...i don't mind them having excessive protection!(Jet Li @ Jul. 09 2007,12:56)Well put.
Jinks, I really am worried that you are letting your family and daughter push you around. Why, because you seem to me, a very caring and genuine person. A lot of times, people will take advantage of that trait and you find yourself bending over backwards to cater to others needs while you get used up. I know you are a Dad and Husband, son etc.... but, you deserve to be treated right and well......................let those without sin cast the first stone.
Sounds like you have already done your part and have been doing your part for past 20 odd years, so it is time for everyone else to just loosen up and get off your back. I mean, what else do they expect from you?
Your daughter is probably being influenced by friends or is just acting out for some reason or other. Heck she probably doesn't even know why herself. It will be a challenge with her but that is the nature of a female child at 15. Just show her love, assure her that you have got her back and I truly believe all will come back to order.
hang in there Bro, and remember 6th gear cures almost all that ills us
Meanwhile...today?...i'm still numb from hearing what the adult family member opinion of me was yesterday....which was based on lies and theatrics from an extremely devious and cunning daughter.
The wife: Last night she was giving me the silent treatment..and just before retiring to bed i asked if she was okay...she responded..."yes...well?...no."....i figured okay...here we go....and sat down and told her..."Okay...tell me more about the 'well no' part"....then she cut lose...told me that i wasn't any better than our sneaky lying daughter running around behind her back partying all these years...then told me..
"and now that it's out in the open?...your drinking and drugging is just going to get worse and worse and you know it will!"
I reassured her of two things...
1. I'd never "bring it home" and....
2. I ain't stopping...i'm too old with way too little time left to pass up a good time where i get a chance to kick back..relax..enjoy myself, laugh, smile and joke...and if that includes a few beers and/or a puff or two of some imported to relax?...i ain't passing it up as long as it isn't around my kids and that's the way it is...and i'm just being honest with you.
She told me no way...and then i asked her...so every motorcycle rally i go to or anytime i'm running late home from work or playing guitars with my buds from work you're gonne be looking at me cross-eyed like i've been cheating on you cause i had a few beers?...
she gave no response...which in itself?...was her response...and that's when i dropped the bomb...
Okay...if that's the way it is?...and i've treated you so horribly for the past 5 years that you didn't even know i was drinking the occassional beer or smoking a doob?...and that's still how you feel?...like i was cheating on you?...then i can see where you stand...and guess what?..
I WANNA DIVORCE RIGHT FUGG'IN NOW!
CAUSE IF YOU WANNA TREAT ME LIKE THIS AND RAISE SHID LIKE THAT?..
THEN YOU'RE DOING IT ALONE!
the evening didn't end well.
Then i come home from work tonight and she's cleaning and cooking dinner like nothing ever happened...wtf?
anybody gotta clue?...cause i dang sure don't!
L8R, Bill.
Wish this would all just go away for you, but I guess you gotta ride this one out. I really believe you will come out O.K.. Start with the homefront, get that straight and worry about all the peripherals later. Immediate family is most important. Do not let anything come between you and your wife.
Also, everyone has arguments, everyone gets into spats. You probably feel as if this is the end of life as you know it and it sounds like your wife kinda got a wake up call after your argument, that is, she is afraid of the prospect of losing you. That just shows that she DOES love you.
Very important, when in the heat of an argument, try try and try not to say anything you will later regret, because words can hurt/scar and also will be used against you in a later argument/disagreement.
Very important, when in the heat of an argument, try try and try not to say anything you will later regret, because words can hurt/scar and also will be used against you in a later argument/disagreement.
extreemachine
Never Forgotten
Hope all is well Bill! I was just reading all of the posts here and catching up. Get the wife to fully understand and then work from there. You are right so continue from there!!
Similar threads
