Funniest bike stories

Mikey D

Registered
Here goes...
Taking a 220 mile bike trip with a bud, He's on a Superhawk, I'm on a 750 Kat.  About 20 miles into the ride we are traveling behind a horse trailer, doing about 60. All of a sudden it looks like a giant bag of grass clippings falls out of the trailer and explodes into a green mist.  Needless to say when we rode through the cloud we discovered that it was in fact processed grass clippings!
We both pulled over and to our dismay we only had one wet wipe between the two of us, to clean both of us, and our bikes.
After using the microscopic wiper well past it's service limit, I turned to my bud and remarked, "I only have two things to say.  I'm glad horses aren't carnivores, and are we going to tell anyone about this?"

True story.
 
I've been peed on by horses in a trailer. Thank god I was in my Jeep at the time and not on the Busa. :eek:
 
I am not a great typer guys, but here goes one story.
I once was home on leave at about age 22 and went drinking with some old friends in the foot hills of northern alabama.
YeHaaa --just had to say that!
anyway there was not enough room in the car they were in so i rode my 1974 honda CB750.
we are headed home and as we were going up a hill my bike starts running out of gas. i reach down to put it on reserve and its already on reserve. so i am thinking if i can push it over the top of this hill then i can coast down to a gas station at the bottom. i also think if i jump off and push while it is still rolling it will be easier to push.
well they said i was doing about 30 when i jumped off to push! never drink and ride!

chris___dad_750_honda.JPG
 
Here's my funny bike story. My first street bike was a 1975 Yam RD 350. I got it in 1981, the year I graduated from high school. After I got it I modified it with DG heads, Toomy pipes, porting, carbs,etc,etc. It also had wheelie bars and struts and that is how I rode it on the street. One day I decided to cruise it up to the high school and impress some of my younger friends and I pulled up in the parking lot at lunch time and got up to a speed bump and pulled in on the front brake and proceeded to do a brake torque(we always screwed arround in the parking lot at lunch). As I shifted into second and the smoke from my tire started to draw a crowd, my front tire lost it's grip and the bike hopped foward twice and I dumped it on it's side . Ihad a crowd of about 20 applauding my bonehead move and I picked up my bike and rode off embarrassed as hell .

Pit Bull
 
:withstupid: Your 12 yrs old you love riding wheelies up hills and carry them out as far as you can go.Slow 1st gear wheelies strait up,it feels so good you tuck your right foot under the rear break lever.Barely moving and strait up sweeeeet.Ok getting closer to that building better put it down soon...cant get on the brake ...no prob dump the throttle gulp that didnt work at that point began to laugh and rode that 5 mile per hour wheelie right into the side of a school. {1971 TS 125}
 
Do dirtbikes count?

I went to the Imperial sand dunes with 3 friends.  This was my bud Roger's first trip to the dunes and 4th time riding anywhere. (He was in his mid 30's)  First 10 minutes out of camp Roger figures he is going to pass Dave (same guy from horse poop story).  Well the only reason Roger could get anywhere near Dave (experienced MX rider) is Dave slowed down for the 3' berm.  Roger slams into the berm 4th gear WFO and goes flying over the dune.  I saw a splash of sand, then another splash about 35 feet away as Roger (6'4" 275lbs) BOUNCED in the sand.  Of course we all rode circles around him, telling him to get up, calling him p*ssy and other choice explicitives.  When he wouldn't get up we all provided him with full on paddle tire brodies and went for our ride.  Feeling guilty (well maybe a little) we came back 20 minutes later and he was still laying in the sand.  We got him back to camp on a quad, filled him full of beer and Ibuprophen, and proceeded to ride the dunes for the next 3 days!  After the trip, when we got back into town, he drove himself to the hospital.  Now remember we all thought he was just being a big baby about it all.
Turns out he had 4 broken ribs.   :eek:
I'm not sure if ya'll find this funy, but we still laugh about it! :tounge:  :devil:
 
In the summer of '88 my Army room mate and I were headed to Lake Ontario for a cruiz around the swimming area and maybe a dip. We are running the speed limit down a long straight road on the way to the lake. Day time, keep in mind, and a Luna Moth comes out of no where. Dead smack in front of us. I see him coming, my room mate can't see around my head. I do a quick head bob to the right, and I can hear the impact... WHACK!!! I get a tap on the shoulder, when I turn around to look at him, he can't see me. Or anything elese for that matter. The guts prety much covered the visor completely. Very nasty.

This was the same road, doing the same thing, when a sparrow was chasing a sea gull. The gull's wings brushed our legs on the right side. The sparrow hit the mirror (at 120+) SPLAT. We were covered with feathers and blood. We just walked into the lake, fully clothed, helmets and all. It was the closest thing to a shower available, and we needed it bad.

Later,

Steve
 
All funny stories... THANK YOU!

I cant think of anything funny that has happened on a bike to me.
 
About ten years ago my buddy bought a GS 500 and once and a while we would go for a ride. (I know more balls then wheels = but I only held on the grab rail and it was only at night. :laugh: ) ANYWAY, We were riding up to Kent Falls, CT(use to live in CT) on a very dark road. There was only one street light ahead of us and all of a sudden there was a train whisle. It scared us so much that the two of us literally left the seat. Now we're both looking around franticly for the train. My buddy stops and that is when we realized the the street light that we saw was actully the headlight come towards was on the tracks the run parallel to the road. After the pucker factor went away all we could do was laugh and go back home. After that riding was nolonger fun that night. :laugh:
 
Same friend same bike,  Another NIGHT :D  was were hanging out when some people came into the same parking lot went over to the dumpster and through out their trash.  We decided to follow them.  I left my car and jumped on the back of the bike and we were off.  We followed them all the way across town down some back roads throught a few neighbor hoods and then all the way back across town to the police department.  That is when we turned off. :D  When they left the PD we tried to find them but they lost us. :mad:   I bet that was the last time they dumped their trash in that dumpster. :laugh:   Every once and a while we would just pick a car and follow them for a while and see what would happen.  Just as we would see them start to look worried we would turn off and find our next victim.  :devil:  It use to be fun when you could do things like that and not have to worry about getting shot.
 
--->HIJACKING IN PROGESS<----

Sorry but I have to share this one, JW's post about following people reminded me...Not bike related but turned out funny.
  I was working part time as a bouncer when I was at CSU, there was a bar in Old Towne called Washingtons.  Mostly college age folks hangin out having fun so it wasn't like lil ole' me did not much more than help walk the drunks out. But their were some who wanted to cause problems.  

  Well one morning at about 0300 I am heading home. As I leave the parking lot I notice a car pulling out right behind me.  No biggie I thought, I was heading towards campus as a lot of people would be.  Well I take a few "odd' corners and this car is still behind me.  Getting suspicious I go around the block and sure enough, there it is.  So now I know for certain I am being followed.  So I go down a little side street by the dorms that had diagonal parking on both sides of the street.  I pull into a spot and watch as the person following me pulls in one car over, I throw it into reverse and trap the car in its spot.  I grabbed my (Be good Stick), lept out of the car, charged up to the drivers side window, grabbed this poor bastard by the front of his shirt and pulled him half way out his open window face up.  I scream at him "who the hell are you and why the hell are you following me?"

The look on this guys face was funny while being a little sad...total bewilderment...he has no Idea what has gone wrong... I don't let him go as he might be lying and he explains "Dave...told...me...to follow...you...to...the ...party."

Well now I am baffled...It was pretty funny, his eyes were great big...and he talked real slow and steady, like I am crazy...  I carefully put him back into his car, and apologized A LOT for the rough treatment as I explain that I am not Dave, and there certainly isn't a party, he has followed the wrong guy.  I am going home. 
--OH Wait allmost forgot the best part, when I told him he had the wrong guy his response was, "Well No Sh*t Man..."--

Was pretty Funny, I went and parked my car while he gathered himself back up and left...  Though I felt a little vindicated, at least I was right and he was following me...   :laugh:
---> End Hijacking<---
 
Haha Revlis, good ole Wash Bar. Had a couple of rough nights there. I think the only night to really go there is Thursday's, all the other nights were slim pickings. Was up in Ft Fun last saturday for the CSU - Miami(Ohio) game, terrible game but tailgating was fun. Going up again this weekend for the Utah game. Might have to go to Wash Bar after the game....
 
YEah Washingtons was a second home for about 2 years. Glad it's still there. My Buddy met his wife there, My wife and I used to sit and play that damned bar trivia all night...
 
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