[this is the email I sent to my closest friends]
All,
Yesterday I had to leave the office in quite a hurry because of a family emergency. Each of you is close to me so I feel I owe you an explanation as to what transpired.
Brittany, with her mother's help/influence/direction, decided to run away from California and move back to her mother's apartment in Colorado. She did not mention anything to anyone and attempted to do it without my knowledge. Fortunately her mother decided to call me to brag about how she was going to get Brittany back and I was able to make it home from Novato in 13 minutes. So glad I had the bike yesterday. [edit: for my Hayabusa brethren, it normally takes me 25-35 minutes depending on traffic. I don't remember any traffic on this trip, just passing left or right, whichever side had more room]
I caught Brittany in her room packing a suitcase (she skipped school). Her mother had purchased an airplane ticket and she was going to have her friend's parents take her to the airport. To give you an idea how callous Brittany's mother is, these people's son had just died Saturday of a drug overdose yet she still called them to do this. They did not know this was being hidden from me. They were told that I was out of town an unavailable to help.
When I showed up, they called Brittany's mother to tell her, "Hey, um, Don's here, what's going on?". Her mother then called the Vallejo Police in an effort to have Brittany forcibly removed from the house.
The Vallejo PD are great people I must say. They showed up and put Brittany in the back of the car and threatened her with juvenile hall if she didn't shut up and calm down. They talked to me and asked what was going on. I told them what I had found out and they talked with the others and then with Brittany. They then returned to me and said, "She's yours, what do you want to do with her. Her mother has no legal grounds here." I decided that if I didn't let her leave she would try this behind-my-back tactic again soon enough so I told them I would take her to the airport. The police let Brittany out of the squad car.
I took Brittany to the oakland airport and lectured the entire way. I didn't scream, I just lectured her on the disappointment I was going through with her sneakiness. I also let her know that everything she had was gone. I'm selling her bed, the miata, her trombones, everything but her clothes and books. I told her, "runaways can only have what they can carry, you're running away, that's all you get".
It was a very hard day for me and an even harder night. I cleaned out most of the stuff from her room and am putting it in boxes to put in the basement. If she were moving out to college or even an apartment on her own, I'd be more understanding. But she's not. She's moving back to someone she continually told me was abusive (mentally and physically) and that she never wanted to see again.
I feel as though I've been played like a violin and am very disappointed in my child. I also found out yesterday that her mother had already enrolled her in school in Colorado and checked her out of Vallejo High. All of this without saying a word to me.
I've been searching for the reason behind this and the only things I can come up with are twofold: 1) her mother needs money and her mother saw a chance to hurt me. It fits her style. 2) Brittany's boyfriend is closer to CO than CA. I know this is the primary motivator. I hope and pray she doesn't make a stupid mistake but under her mother's care I highly doubt it will work out in the end.
Brittany is my daughter and I love her dearly. I am highly disappointed and I'm sure those of you that know her are too. She made an adult decision and she now has to live with the responsibilities it brings.
All,
Yesterday I had to leave the office in quite a hurry because of a family emergency. Each of you is close to me so I feel I owe you an explanation as to what transpired.
Brittany, with her mother's help/influence/direction, decided to run away from California and move back to her mother's apartment in Colorado. She did not mention anything to anyone and attempted to do it without my knowledge. Fortunately her mother decided to call me to brag about how she was going to get Brittany back and I was able to make it home from Novato in 13 minutes. So glad I had the bike yesterday. [edit: for my Hayabusa brethren, it normally takes me 25-35 minutes depending on traffic. I don't remember any traffic on this trip, just passing left or right, whichever side had more room]
I caught Brittany in her room packing a suitcase (she skipped school). Her mother had purchased an airplane ticket and she was going to have her friend's parents take her to the airport. To give you an idea how callous Brittany's mother is, these people's son had just died Saturday of a drug overdose yet she still called them to do this. They did not know this was being hidden from me. They were told that I was out of town an unavailable to help.
When I showed up, they called Brittany's mother to tell her, "Hey, um, Don's here, what's going on?". Her mother then called the Vallejo Police in an effort to have Brittany forcibly removed from the house.
The Vallejo PD are great people I must say. They showed up and put Brittany in the back of the car and threatened her with juvenile hall if she didn't shut up and calm down. They talked to me and asked what was going on. I told them what I had found out and they talked with the others and then with Brittany. They then returned to me and said, "She's yours, what do you want to do with her. Her mother has no legal grounds here." I decided that if I didn't let her leave she would try this behind-my-back tactic again soon enough so I told them I would take her to the airport. The police let Brittany out of the squad car.
I took Brittany to the oakland airport and lectured the entire way. I didn't scream, I just lectured her on the disappointment I was going through with her sneakiness. I also let her know that everything she had was gone. I'm selling her bed, the miata, her trombones, everything but her clothes and books. I told her, "runaways can only have what they can carry, you're running away, that's all you get".
It was a very hard day for me and an even harder night. I cleaned out most of the stuff from her room and am putting it in boxes to put in the basement. If she were moving out to college or even an apartment on her own, I'd be more understanding. But she's not. She's moving back to someone she continually told me was abusive (mentally and physically) and that she never wanted to see again.
I feel as though I've been played like a violin and am very disappointed in my child. I also found out yesterday that her mother had already enrolled her in school in Colorado and checked her out of Vallejo High. All of this without saying a word to me.
I've been searching for the reason behind this and the only things I can come up with are twofold: 1) her mother needs money and her mother saw a chance to hurt me. It fits her style. 2) Brittany's boyfriend is closer to CO than CA. I know this is the primary motivator. I hope and pray she doesn't make a stupid mistake but under her mother's care I highly doubt it will work out in the end.
Brittany is my daughter and I love her dearly. I am highly disappointed and I'm sure those of you that know her are too. She made an adult decision and she now has to live with the responsibilities it brings.