3 Daze Clean

[Strife]

Keep it clean!

But you need to reassess some issues.... Like why would you kid say...

"Cause...we remember what you were like when you were clean & sober and we cant take you like that anymore."

I think there is more to it then you being a pushover when buzzed. You need to talk it out more and see the root of the issue. Try initiating the conversation with giving her a free pass to say anything she wants about the issue. sure you are probably going to heart stuff you don't want to hear,but you will have stuff to work with on making everyone's life better in the future. Don't show aggression. If stuff you talking about is to much to deal with at the time. Tell her... "You would like to pick it up later cause it's a lot to digest right now". Taking a breather is fine.

You only a 3 weeks into kicking the pills.3-4 days of the other stuff. Clear that mind up and keep it clear for a while then things will be more apparent. I doubt you are thinking straight just let. Takes time for the brain to be reset(so to speak).

Once again...KEEP IT CLEAN! ! ! LIFE(all aspects) WILL ONLY GET EASIER.

Kid says something you don't agree with... explore her train of thought. Try not to say anything that will cause her to shut down the conversation. Keep it positive. Try reasoning. Accept reasoning.

Smile more in general(yes it can be hard). Believe it or not this will have an impact on your life. Happiness spreads like a virus. Though is less remembered, UNLIKE sadness.

 

[klatu848]

One day at a time bro! Meeting makers make it

 

[george b]

hey.. i don't know you, but i'd like to say congratulations. one day @ a time, and if you slip, it's not the end of the world, don't slide, just start over. not trying to say that as an excuse for whatever, i've just delt with the issue personally and lost someone i really loved to hydrocodone. also, if you can get by w/out the suboxone, then do it, cause that stuff seems to put people into just as much of a daze as the hydro, but in the end, if you can't stay off , then suboxone is a better choice.

and don't take this the wrong way but go easy on those around you. remember, they've been along on the ride the whole time too and they're just as worn out. like someone else said, just stay focused on you, and other stuff will fall into place. hopefully they'll see a new you and it'll work out. and if it doesn't, realize that you can't control anyone but you. you can't make them see the new you.

argh.. man, i really just wanted to say congrats. didn't want to get all preachy!! sorry.

 

[JINKSTER]

hey.. i don't know you, but i'd like to say congratulations. one day @ a time, and if you slip, it's not the end of the world, don't slide, just start over. not trying to say that as an excuse for whatever, i've just delt with the issue personally and lost someone i really loved to hydrocodone. also, if you can get by w/out the suboxone, then do it, cause that stuff seems to put people into just as much of a daze as the hydro, but in the end, if you can't stay off , then suboxone is a better choice.

and don't take this the wrong way but go easy on those around you. remember, they've been along on the ride the whole time too and they're just as worn out. like someone else said, just stay focused on you, and other stuff will fall into place. hopefully they'll see a new you and it'll work out. and if it doesn't, realize that you can't control anyone but you. you can't make them see the new you.

argh.. man, i really just wanted to say congrats. didn't want to get all preachy!! sorry.

hey..no worries bud..unfortunately?..its an emotional topic for a lot of folks these days..lotsa folks hittin the dirt over opiates these days..the big dealers arent the guys on the corner with a bag of rocks in their mouth..with the advent of pain management clinics popping up faster that burger joints?..the big drug dealers CVS and Walgreens..just this past year for the first time in the history of the state of florida more folks died of perscription drugs than street drugs..true story..didnt hear it at a meeting..it was front page news off the local newspapers..served as a huge wake-up call for me and my problem..and i got so bad on the oxycodone?..about 20% of the skin on my face was scab...gross...weeping shid...that wouldnt heal...months on end..almost ate a hole through my cheek..it healed up pretty well over the past few weeks kickin the shid..but damn was it tuff to kick..and yeah..my minds still mush..about once an hour i go into a full body burn where i get the withdrawl symtoms of chills/shakes/sweats for like 5 minutes or so and i just hafta sit down and pray for it to go away and it does..and then about 10 minutes later?..i get this peaceful serene feeling that's so surreal it peaks with me feelin like i'm stoned off my azz again for like 3-5 minutes..then that goes away..then i get about 1/2 hour of almost normal and then the cycle repeats...and this is still going on like 16 days later off all opiates...and it's even tougher with 5 days clean from doin any drugs or alcohol but each day gets a lil easier to deal with it..then again?..i find myself praying...a lot.

the family thing?..the NA program says..if you aint in a relationship?..dont get in one..and if ya are?..dont get out of it...however in this case?..the choice is not mine...and it hasnt been mine for several years prior to me ever picking up the first drink 8 years back..and had i stuck with my program and stayed strong instead of just clean and sober?..this relationship would've ended over a decade ago...and i would've been the one ending it...but i couldnt bring myself to leave my kids..so i stayed...and then?...i stayed fugged up..bad choice..wasted a lot of valuable years..with far worse end results..and in the end?..i ate blues so i didnt eat a 357...and in the bitter end?..there werent enough blues in the world to kill the pain i had inside of me..with wifey succeeding in her efforts to teach my two youngest to hate and disrespect daddy as much as she did for me bustin azz for years on 2nd shift leaving her to raise'em alone...or so she claims...which is her warcry...but the clincher is..once when i managed to get back on days?..she asked me to see if i could get back on nights cause summer was coming and the girls would be outta school and she didnt make enough to send'em all to summer camp/daycare..so i did...i went back on nights..and woke up early every morning to watch my girls..sucked..but?...such is life w/ a shiddy wife..and i can swear to you that ironically?..had they been sons instead of daughters?..i truely believe things would've worked out much differently...but they didnt..and i did the best i could with the cards life dealt me..and got painted.."The Bad Guy" for my efforts.

I never asked anything more of my wife than to "Simply Love Me Back The Way I Loved Her"...apparently?..she didnt have it in her..and she was quite content to keep repeatedly kicking me while i was down..and the proof?..here i am 3 weeks of steady NA meetings every day/night..16 days off all opiates..5 days clean off everything...and she still grabs my daughters and hauls azz for this very entire weekend just to hurt me...destroy me...attempting to cause me enough pain in an effort to sabotage my recovery?...wtf?...the cleaner i get and the straighter i fly the more she wants to hurt me?... ???

it's a change i should've wised up, manned-up and...made...long, long ago.

and now?..i get to prepare for the battle of my life whilst i'm battling for my life..and any sort of love or support from wifey ended just a few years after i said the words.."I Do"...20+ years ago...sux.

D@mn...i just typed myself into a real bad place..now i gotta go read and pray..

l8r, bill.

 

[Strife]

Ever think your wife needs a break from you and took the kids for the same reason. What your going through takes it's toll on everyone who spends time around you. Let her take her breaks. Trying to stop her is only gonna make things worse at this point. Like I said earlier... Smile and try to maintain a positive attitude.

The internet attitude you are portraying is "POOR POOR ME!". That probably doesn't fly with her as she had to put up with so much stuff in the past 4(?) years you were drug induced? Now she's dealing with a miserable you! You kicking the drug habit,now it shouldn't be that hard to kick the "Downed Attitude".

And the wife didn't teach the kids to disrespect you. You allowed it to happen. So what if you worked 3rd shifts and didn't see the kids to much. Doesn't mean the wife is to blame. My brother and his wife split up just this last year. 3 kids 18,15,13. Two girls and a boy. She wasn't the kindest worded woman about my brother. Around the kids at times. There were times when he worked out of states for months at time. His relationship with the kids is perfectly fine. He had great communication with them.

Read,pray, do whatever. But open the communication channels with your kids and they will come around. It's not going to be easy. Get the kids to come around in attitude and chances are the wife will start to see things differently. Might take quite a while due to the amount of years you lost.

 

[MikesGSX1300RK9]

Bad News?: Looks like wifey is gonna take my last 2 daughters and run after 20+ years of marriage...and truth is?..i'm roller-coastering on being "Okay/NOT Okay" with that..but gotta stay focused on NOT USING

more later...gotta 7:30 meeting to make tonight..

Saiid...wifeys taken the daughters and run to her sisters house okeechobee for the entire weekend...again...call me if ya can fit in a ride..l8r, Bill.

Jinkster,

Going through divorce right now, myself. Losing custody of our two children only due to my military status and deployment likelihood/lack of backup child care options.

Six years of mostly bad married life. If the marriage is not good, you'll be happier single (or with someone else later). Not an easy time right now, I know, but count your blessings. Women are not the same as they used to be, and men/fathers became irrelevant a generation ago. Until men have their place back at the family table, society will continue to decline. My soon-to-be-ex-wife also has low self esteem issues. There is no holding her accountable for her poor decisions, immature behavior, and lack of financial responsibility that could have cost me my job, lest I become "Daddy."


Mike

 

[JINKSTER]

Ever think your wife needs a break from you and took the kids for the same reason. What your going through takes it's toll on everyone who spends time around you. Let her take her breaks. Trying to stop her is only gonna make things worse at this point. Like I said earlier... Smile and try to maintain a positive attitude.

The internet attitude you are portraying is "POOR POOR ME!". That probably doesn't fly with her as she had to put up with so much stuff in the past 4(?) years you were drug induced? Now she's dealing with a miserable you! You kicking the drug habit,now it shouldn't be that hard to kick the "Downed Attitude".

And the wife didn't teach the kids to disrespect you. You allowed it to happen. So what if you worked 3rd shifts and didn't see the kids to much. Doesn't mean the wife is to blame. My brother and his wife split up just this last year. 3 kids 18,15,13. Two girls and a boy. She wasn't the kindest worded woman about my brother. Around the kids at times. There were times when he worked out of states for months at time. His relationship with the kids is perfectly fine. He had great communication with them.

Read,pray, do whatever. But open the communication channels with your kids and they will come around. It's not going to be easy. Get the kids to come around in attitude and chances are the wife will start to see things differently. Might take quite a while due to the amount of years you lost.

good stuff man...and ur prolly correct in her wanting/needing a break from me but i certainly dont dare portray any poor me junk to her...she would love that..hell..she'd feed on it...she came from an extremely cold family where demonstrations of affection were considered a weakness...but i will confess that over the years?..since she didnt pick up on my loving ways?..i myself out of emotional survival learned to take that "hurt" and turn it into anger and as a matter of my personal emotional survival around her...and i also hafya admit that i am no longer the soft spoken kind hearted man she 1st met and nowadays i do tend to lash out (on a verbal level only) in an effort to stop any further...well...me gettin hurt shid.

prolly best she is gone cause i just aint in any condition to deal at that level clean & sober...yet...but i'm working hard towards the day i can deal with what needed to be dealt with properly years ago..thanks strife..doin my best to work through this shid and dont nobody get upset if ya'll dont see me postin for awhile...looks like i'm gonna be losing my internet and cable tv for awhile here shortly...prolly tomorrow...gotta get my priorities straight and back on track financially..l8r, bill.

 

[red1100cc]

sounds like you need a really long ride
it clears the mind, and give you some time to think and heal.
its hard to find "drugs" on the road
who "needs" drugs when your on the road anyway!
why don't ya come on up and see yellowstone. i know thats a nice long ride

give the wife some time, the kids too, they will figgure it out when they grow up. just keep letting them know daddy loves them.

there are sober rider groups and clubs out there, ever think of looking into one of them??

http://alternativemc.com/about-alternative-mc.html
just one of many.

i had to google crypys, im guessin its pot.

well thats my 2cents anyway buddy. good luck in what ever you do.

 

[JINKSTER]

sounds like you need a really long ride
it clears the mind, and give you some time to think and heal.
its hard to find "drugs" on the road
who "needs" drugs when your on the road anyway!
why don't ya come on up and see yellowstone. i know thats a nice long ride

give the wife some time, the kids too, they will figgure it out when they grow up. just keep letting them know daddy loves them.

there are sober rider groups and clubs out there, ever think of looking into one of them??

Alternative Motorcycle Club - About Alternative MC
just one of many.

i had to google crypys, im guessin its pot.

well thats my 2cents anyway buddy. good luck in what ever you do.

thanks man...i just registered at alternative MC and whata coincidence..i got a meeting at their treasure coast clubhouse tonight..

ps: cool news..called my cable/net provider today and made payment arrangements with no interuption in service...there is a God.

thanks again and l8r, Bill.