You've been in Iraq too long when...




busa-josh

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When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"

When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus

Every woman that reports to your unit starts looking attractive

Every guy that reports to your unit starts looking attractive

You walk an extra 6 blocks to eat at the KBR (contractor run) dining facility to have the exact same food they are serving in your dining facility because you think it tastes better

You actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet

You start picturing your wife in traditional Arab dress

The contractors have more fire power than the military combat units. (This is true)

You take the time to add your lines to this list

You've spent $200 dollars at Haji mart on DVDs buying Basic Instinct, 9 and ½ weeks, and Body of Evidence just for the sex scenes

You drink the water from the tap because you want to drop 20 pounds in two weeks

Driving around in SUVs with weapons pointed out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems very normal to you

You can put your body armor and helmet on in the dark in under 5 seconds

When the organization you work for has changed its name more than 3 times

When you can actually talk to people in the United States on a cell phone, yet you can't get people on their cell phone a block away

When you actually spend more time writing e-mail about the dog in the compound versus how to conduct the fight in Najaf

Your idea of a fun Thursday night is to go to the Palace pool to watch the State Department folks get drunk, naked and try to pick each other up

When you actually get excited to get a package that contains 3 pair of socks, 12 bars of soap and a Victoria Secret Catalog

When you start to enjoy the rocking of the trailer every time the MEDEVAC choppers fly over

You memorized every episode from the 4th Season of Sex in the City

You enjoy the audience commentary while watching a movie bought at Haji mart

You see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow the colors are so pretty" and want to fire back

Your thinking of buying real estate in the green zone

Your idea of sex is 20 minutes of Instant Messaging with your wife on the computer, OK, 10 minutes, who are you kidding?

You wake up and think Baghdad, I am still in friggin Baghdad

You make the new guy show you his count down timer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country

You're in the Army and you start saying Ooorah

You're in the Marines and you start saying Hooah

You're in the Navy and you realize you are in the middle of the desert, the exact opposite of being in the middle of the ocean, where one might normally find the Navy.

You're in the Air Force, and you're on the plane home because an Air Force tour is too short to have been a long Iraq tour. Ignore this list, zoomie, you won't get it.

You only notice the stench of Haji funk when its not there

You plan on removing all trees and grass in your yard when you get home so it will look more natural

You forget there are other colors than brown that can be found in places other than power point slides

The temp drops down to 102 degrees and you shiver while reaching for your Gortex jacket

You have noticed a change of season, from long, hot and dry to short, cold and wet.

When you call home and your kids ask "Who is this?"

You call home and your wife says hello Bill (your name is Sam)

When you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "The Olive Garden."

When you can comfortably shave and brush your teeth using bottled water, but don't mind showering in the "non-potable" local water.

While on R&R, you look out the window and find Nature, which leads you to wonder who stole your sandbags.

When some of the contractors wear their DCUs (Desert pattern camouflage uniform) more properly than some of your soldiers.

When 12 hours is a short work day

When, During the BUA, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs
within the ISF to square us away!" is a valid comment and generates no questions.

When you start using words like G'day mate, Cheers, and Bloody hell as part of your normal vocabulary

When you have your opinions printed in the STARS and STRIPES more than 3 times

When the palace catches fire and instead of helping to put it out you grab a bag of marshmallows and start roasting

When you step into any office and there are 6 colonels, 12 lieutenant colonels, 15 majors, and 8 captains supervising the work of 1 sergeant

When the insurgant illegal weapon buyback program has become so successful that you have issued the same AK-47 to the Iraqi army 3 times
When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar

When on R & R you tell your wife that your weapon status is Red and your looking for the clearing barrel

When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service

You see an indirect fire attack take out a generator and get angry at the enemy for not hitting the one that powers your computer

You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed

You yell at the FNG for shouting incoming when the rounds don't impact close enough to hit your tent with dirt

You know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit by celebratory fire

You decide for that for ****s and grins - lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper

You never worry about oversleeping because if the morning call to prayers doesn't wake you, the daily 0430 mortar attack will (most mornings)

The highlight of your shopping experience at the PX is to see that they got in a new shipment of Schick Tracer razor blades

When you send out your laundry and your whites become grayer, your blacks become grayer and your DCU's become grayer - makes it easier to sort loads...

You get offended by people wearing clean, pressed DCU's

You decide that it is a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during a mortar attack - the woobee will save you and at least you are comfortable

You make a contest out of seeing who can wear their uniform for more days before becoming entirely disgusted with themselves

You wonder if the fish served at dinner really was carp caught out of the Tigris or Camp Victory's lake

You find it completely acceptable to pick your nose while talking to a complete stranger or member of the opposite sex

A rocket or a mortar really isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine

You go to a social gathering and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation
 

Nick7

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lol all so true brother!

when the CSM is worried about his side walk getting swept durning a sand storm

When your CO still doesnt know who you are

when your soldiers stop *****ing about the heat

when you go sit by the IA compound just to watch somthing blow up

when you are so bord you go to the MWR to watch the same game 3 times in a row

when you start packing and wonder how you got so much crap

when you clear your own CHU

when you just stop saluting LT's

when the dfac is too far of a walk and you spend the 2 hours running from room to room looking for snacks

when the hadji mart has more usfull stuff than AAFES

when you just thow away tv's and stuff like that

when it actually hits you how long 462 or 365 days really is

when the Indian bus drivers are singing American songs

when you get some body parts to move when you see the naked drawling in the port a jons

when you know every Chuck Noris joke bc they are in every port a jon

when you try to fill water ballons with a water bottle

when the Yougandians know your name

when you walk into the MWR and the lady puts you down for a phone with out even asking

when you walk into the dfac and people expect you and your buddies to make a scean

when the KBR guy at the MCT office calls you by your first name

when the incomming alram goes off and you close your blind and door so people think you went to the bunker

when you try to find IED's with your truck by driving 1/2 way off the road

when you just laugh as the bullets bounce off your truck

when instead of waiting for EOD you just go kick it

when you find a recording on line of an explosion and run speakers to your LT's door and play it over and over again as loud as you can in the middle of the night just to see his reaction

when you go thirsty bc you are out of drink mix

when you get close to going home you ask everyone when they are heading home just so you can say you go home in a month

when on R&R you wake up looking for your rifle

when you get pissed on R&R when a car passes you

when you swirve for a box 10 feet off the side of the road on R&R

when its a good idea for you and your buddies to get tattoos out here

when you say "this dry copenhagen is almost like the states minus the metal lid"

when you know wich tuff box everying is in

when you go to the chow all at a certian time to see the hot girl who back in the states is only a 5 but out here she is a 10

when simple things get even more stupid

when you refuse to use the closer laundry bc they dont do a good job (they all go to the same place for washing)

when you down load hadji music because its catchy

when the villagers know your name

when the let IP's and IA's in your dfac

when you spend an hour tying to think of other things to post on this topic
 

busa-josh

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lol all so true brother!
when you just laugh as the bullets bounce off your truck

when you get pissed on R&R when a car passes you

when you swirve for a box 10 feet off the side of the road on R&R

when you go to the chow all at a certian time to see the hot girl who back in the states is only a 5 but out here she is a 10

TRUEST OF THE TRUE!! :laugh: the one about chow hall chicks is like a daily thing for me :lol:
 

busa-josh

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all over Baghdad.. on slayer right now (wasting away as well... pointless rotation).. i move around here and there a couple times a month...

Speicher?! Got better weather than me bro! How many trips is this for you? 3rd here.. grr.. eehehe
 

Nick7

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this is my third too but the first one was Afgainistan and last time i was down south at adder. and no the weather here is crappy that sandstorm lasted 11 days here.
 

semi

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Those are good :laugh: don't ever doubt that those of us still at home appreciate what all of you are doing for us, thank you!
Posted via Mobile Device
 

Nick7

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Im guessing you are out of Bragg? Should have gone Air Assult!! :poke: Sorry couldnt help myself... Waiting on the dope on a rope comments:laugh:
 

busa-josh

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this is my third too but the first one was Afgainistan and last time i was down south at adder. and no the weather here is crappy that sandstorm lasted 11 days here.

yah that was some crap.. i had two missions cancelled because of it! but atleast it kept the heat down ya know? i actually dont mind it when I DONT have mission but that 11 day thing really messed me over with flights.



thanks semi.. we love you folks!! :bowdown:
 

busa-josh

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Im guessing you are out of Bragg? Should have gone Air Assult!! :poke: Sorry couldnt help myself... Waiting on the dope on a rope comments:laugh:

Actually im out of Hood.. and I AM AIR ASSAULT!! lol... punk.

ehehe... being with 82nd was my toughest deployment of the 3 so i kind of claim that as my only REAL deployment and only combat patch if you know what im saying.
 

Nick7

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Knox but before was Drum... and yes I get where you are comming from with the combat patch! Sorry to assume you were not Air Assult!
 

busa-josh

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Ehehe not too much of us Air Assault guys around bro... so much better than forrest gump-wings... :)

Ive never been to Knox.. ill be out east coast next Feb for BNCOC though.. should hook up and do some riding if I get a 4 day or something.. hit the blue ridge mountains or something in the area.. ill be up for it.
 

Projekt

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all over Baghdad.. on slayer right now (wasting away as well... pointless rotation).. i move around here and there a couple times a month...

Speicher?! Got better weather than me bro! How many trips is this for you? 3rd here.. grr.. eehehe
I was at Slayer last year right next to the Green beans coffee.

+2 on the DFAC girls... Dinner there just to watch her walk by is the highlight of my day! :laugh:
 

busa-josh

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I was at Slayer last year right next to the Green beans coffee.
Where at? mayor cell? palace? signal?

06-08 OIF i was in the palace.. sort of.. my team's office was there.. I ran the DCSINT's PSD team. Lived in the houses next to the chapel down the street from green bean.
 

Projekt

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I worked with the signals troops in the buildings between the palace and the cafe.. Spent a lot of time photographing the base in my spare time.
 



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