You might be a floridian if......


Dakkine2

Donating Member
Registered
#1
> >  "Down South" means Key West
> >
> > "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
> >
> > You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
> >
> > Flip-flops are everyday wear.
> >
> > Shoes are for business meetings and church.
> >
> > No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or
> > Christmas.
> >
> > Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
> >
> > An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
> >
> > You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to
>Florida.
> >
> > You measure distance in minutes.
> >
> > You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
> >
> > You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
> >
> > All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
> >
> >  A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
> >
> > You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
> >
> > You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer
> > but really hot, and
> >   Christmas.
> >
> > It's not soda, cola, or pop. It's coke, regardless of brand or flavor,
> > "What kinda coke you want?"
> >
> > Anything under 95 is just warm.
> >
> > You've hosted a hurricane party.
> >
> > You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the
>best
> > rides.
> >
> > You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
> >
> > You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
> >
> > You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Islamorada.
> >
> > You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a
> > boat yourself.
> >
> > Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish,
>NRA,
> > and a Confederate flag.
> >
> > You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
> >
> > You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
> >
> > You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"
> >
> > You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
>
> >
> > You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important!
> >
> > You recognize Miami-Dade as "Northern Cuba"
 

JINKSTER

I Love my Wife!
Donating Member
Registered
#9
add....

Your aware that..Only retirees and displaced northerners try to irradicate fire ants.

Never specify "Tile Floors" in a newly built home...wait a few years for the slab to settle and crack on your developed sand..."then"...tear out the cheap wall-too-wall carpeting and lay down the new tile floors.

You know to always turn off the water and depressurize your garden hose during the summer months...so it don't split open from the water inside which turned too steam.

You use SPF-45 for moisturizing cream...all the time.

Always carry a 2nd pair of sunglasses in your truck...in the console...right beside your glock.

Where there's frogs?....there's snakes.

You panic and rush to close the windows when ya hear the skeeter truck com'in.

YOUR..only hope of a "Retirement Plan" is....winning the state lottery.

Your "Mortgage Lender" now carries the insurance policy on your home..and your escrow account just keeps rising....and you practice a don't ask/don't tell policy.

You realize all the scummy doctors from across the nation reside here for the sole-purpose of raping medicare....regardless of wether or not they actually know how to practice medicine.

You know before you get there that your Dermitoligist will in fact verify that you do in fact have a rash however it'll take years of visits and lab fees before they'll attempt a diagnosis....and then?...it'll be wrong.

Hanging out by the river at low tide on a hot summer afternoon is NEVER a great idea.

When swimming at the beach?...NEVER....touch the pretty purple ballons....and fer gawds sake don't wear no dang jewlery.

Miami...ISN'T...."the place to be"...especially after dark.

Avoid getting off at any of the "5 Orlando Exits" at all costs.

"Daytona"..is NOT...."a riding event".

We have two seasons...summer & winter...and if it's summer?...it WILL rain today...regardless of what the weatherman said.

If it ain't aluminum, stainless, fiberglass or wood?...it WILL rust.

Anything less than 2 showers a day is considered..."dirty".

If you ain't sweat'in no more?...you're in serious trouble.

No dear....that monster truck ISN'T..."just trying to intimidate you".

Don't cop a 'tude or make any wise alec remarks around leo's unless you enjoy being tasered.

"Entertainment" is.....hang'in out at malls and airports on sunday afternoons just to watch the canadians pi$$ off the new yorkers.
laugh.gif


L8R, Bill.
cool.gif
 
#19
Dagnabbit , I haven't seen a skeeter truck in years. Once when I was in Highschool we were standing outside before class started and over the horizon comes a DC-3 flying low . Me and my parnters bail for the door while everyone else just kinda stops and stares up . This thing starts dropping pesticide and this huge curtian of gas is rolling across the ground heading right towards them. It finally dawned on them that this was a skeeter Bombing Raid and they all started running for the door but they couldn't get in because we had thrown the bolts on the door. Man, we laughed about that the rest of the day .



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