Why my bike is better than men...
- Thread starter CaBusaGirl
- Start date
now thats not nice!!!!
i say the same thing to the wif...she actually get jealouse but thats because she rides a 1K....
Why my bike is better than men (with the mens responses)
1. My bike does not complain when he has to wear a protective cover.
(Men) most of us have no problem wearing gear
2. I can get my leg over my bike and it is turned on instantly.
(Men) either way theres still something you need to touch to get it going
3. My bikes lubrication does not go all over the place.
(Men) This only becomes an issue in situations where the filter was not installed by a competent person and the drain plug is not installed or correctly seated.
4. If I dump my bike it wont keep calling.
(Men) What is this dumping thing you speak of?
5. My naked bike looks fantastic.
(Men) God made darkness so that everyone is attractive at least half the time
6. My bike does not ***** when I tug his throttle a bit too hard.
(men) However severe abuse may affect overall performance.
7. My bike does not expect a cooked breakfast in the morning.
(Men) Cereal can be eaten at any time as a meal.
8. I got a manual with my bike to understand how it works.
(Men) We require no instructions as we are very simple to operate and mantainence falls under three categories. Food, Sleep, and proper oiling of needed joints to prevent rust.
9. My bike always satisfies.
(Men) Snickers does too
10. My bike does not mind going shopping and will gladly wait for me as long as it takes.
(Men) What is this "shopping" thing you speak of?
11. My bike can go all night without stopping.
(Men) Either way one of the tanks will eventually need to be refilled in order to keep the motor running.
12. My bike does not expect me to cook for it.
(Men) See number 7
13. If my bikes rubber splits I do not have to take a 'morning after' pill.
(Men) Friction is a danger and improper lubrication is generally the cause of friction related damage. It is important to check you tires and fluids before you do any hard riding to avoid this and future mishaps.
14. I always know exactly where my bike is.
(Men) The Couch is very close to the garage, fridge and the bathroom. It is helpful to understand the Male migration pattern in order to avoid this type of situation.
15. I can tighten my bikes nuts whenever I feel it is necessary.
(Men) We have a self torquing feature that changes according to climate no further adjustment is needed. Any outside adjustment may dramatically decrease performance.
16. My bike does not ask to be ridden when I am not in the mood.
(Men) Riding alone can be fun too.
17. I can ride my bike without the risk of getting pregnant.
(Men) Location,Location, Location......
18. I can change my riding style without arousing suspicion.
(Men) Riding style is adjustable and with a skilled operator is considered an achievement when it can be changed at will.
19. My bike does not wander off when I leave it somewhere.
(Men) Please refer to answer 14
20. My bike gets there at the same time I do.
(Men) Competition is important remember 2nd place is noted as the first loser.
21. My bike does not get mad when I ride other bikes.
(Men) We don't mind riding other bikes either
22. My bike does not want one more beer when I want to go home.
(Men) It is very important to make sure you have a full tank before venturing out or home for any trip.
23. It is cheaper to get my bike tanked up than my man.
(Men) High end equipment requires more costly servicing and only high quality fluids.
24. My bike does not go limp when it is not in use.
(Men) Taken into consideration we understand how a clean and neat house is important to you. We try to keep things out of the way by storing them in the most efficient way possible so you do not trip over things while walking around.
25. I only have to ride your bike when I feel like it.
(Men) We only have to ride yours when ours breaks down.
26. I do not get called names if I want to give my bike a good rub down in public.
(Men) What are these names you speak of?
27. I can buy trick parts to make my bike go faster.
(Men) Proper lubrication will help maintain performance as will general upkeep of the fairings and body.
28. If my bike blows a fuse it will not spend the entire weekend going on about what caused it.
(Men) Bikes cannot express to you the disappointment they have due to the fact you blew their fuse. We are simply the interpreter providing information your bike wished to pass on but could not relay properly to you.
29. I can get the front end of my bike up with one twist of my wrist.
(Men) Knowing how each machine operates is important. A twisting motion may cause damage when a different operation is called for. Please consult with a professional before attempting any new handling methods.
30. I can wear knee sliders when riding my bike to protect against carpet burns.
(Men) You are not supposed to ride inside the house. On another note Knee sliders do not have to be worn strictly while riding. This is simply the primary use.
31. My bike does not shrink when it gets cold.
(Men) See response 24
32. My bike can be really dirty - but I can still take it home to meet my parents.
(Men) So can a smart man.
33. Unlike men, mini motorbikes do not think that they are R1's.
(Men) Perspective is everything.
34. I can ride as many bikes as I can handle and not be called names.
(Men) We appreciate your efforts in wanting to try everything out before you buy. This is a sound practice and fine as long as it is not shared openly. Real men do not buy rental cars.
35. I can let my friends ride my bike so they can see how good it is.
(Men) Sharing is important.
36. When I ride my bike I do not need to fake how much fun I am having or tell it how good it was afterwards.
(Men) In order to provide excellent customer service we would like to make sure that you would rate us a 10 out of 10 if given a survey. If for any reason all 10's can not be provided please rest assured we will do everything in our power to make it right.
37. My bike only leave skid marks on the road.
(Men) It is important to mark your position as to avoid being lost.
38. I can still ride my bike when it is completely tanked up.
(Men) Depending on the type of fluids utilized during maintanence performance may be affected.
39. My bike does not complain about my riding, or the way I park it.
(Men) Riding styles differ and depending on your bike may no be suitible under certain conditions. Placement of parking tends to depend on the location and area's that are avail. to park in, Due to recent mishaps it has been determined that no parking area's should be avoided.
40. My bike does not complain when I choose to play with a computer instead of taking it for a ride.
(Men) No Comment ......
+100000000000000000000000000000000000
I wasn't bored when I did that or anything
"Woody" still comes to mind.
Haha... ass
mike1180
Banned
This didn't take long:
1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after ****ing it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep
in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.
If any are bothersome I can delete them.
1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after ****ing it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep
in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.
If any are bothersome I can delete them.
Last edited:
teamorion22
Registered
my bike is better than most featherless bipods.
TWT racer
Registered
mike1180
Banned
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after ****ing it.
That would be "peeling" it.
or could be "washing" it.
What were you thinking?
Last edited:
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