What's your best stupid story?

RussellJ

Rick Rollin'
Registered
Ok so I am bored on barracks duty. So this should give us all a laugh. What is the most stupid thing you have ever heard, seen, or maybe even participated in (if it is not your I would probably make the person made up :laugh:)

I have a few with the things I see every day.

So this guy decides to black out smoking spice (synthetic marijuana) and probably drinking also. He then things it would be a good idea to go get in his car and play vehicle pinball in the parking lot. After hitting tons of cars but just barreling around in his car, he somehow manages to drop his pants and go half nude in the parking lot before going to his room to pass out. He was caught because in his pants he dropped was a his wallet (with ID inside), and a bag of the synthetic marijuana. :duh:

And NO this is not me obviously because that dude was kicked out of the Marine Corps on a less than happy note. :laugh:
 
Well since you asked. This involves a Marine also. I was a newish paramedic ( had been in ems a while as a EMT but new as a paramedic), andhow I worked for Beaufort county EMS. Any Marine knows where Beaufort SC is. After all Paris Island is in the middle of it, as well as the Marine Corps Ait Station. Ok back to my story.

We get called out to a auto/vs ped call. I am acting crew chief this night and my chest is all puffed out. Yeah I thought I was the man lol. We pull uip and there is a young guy (19) laying on the ground with a bad open tib/fib fracture on his left leg. Seems his g/f ran him over. I start doing my medic stuff and put him on a back board get the collar on wrap the leg etc etc. This guy is coo with all of it untill the g/f walks up crying. He tellls her baby baby baby i'm fine, it dont hurt at all. Matter of fact I am just gonna walk to the ambulance get a few bandaids and we can go eat dinner. I of course tell him his leg is messed up bad, ad in BAD BAD. Well I guess to this Marine that was a dare. Seeing as how he was not under the influence of any drugs or drink, we kind of have to get permission before we can do anything. Call it informer concent. Well our Marine tells us to remove the straps and he will walk to get treatment. Me being the caring do no harm medic I am I have my partner do as our Marine wishes. In the mean time i pull out a smoke light it up and have a seat on the fendr of the car that hit him. My partner loks at me with this look of WTF are you doing man. I smaile and say "watch this". Our Marine struggles and gets up takes 1/4 of a step falls wacks his head on the bumper of the carr that hit him. So now we have a Marine with a open fracture to his leg, a gash in his head, and is knocked out cold. Of course his g/f flips out. OMG OMG hes dead. I put out my smoke stablise his C-spine roll him back onto the back board stap him down get him in the ambulance and go on our merry way to the hospital. My supervisor shows up at the ER and asks me what happened. I tell him he gets a good laugh. I felt bad for the guy, but at the same time my hands were tied. Im one of them folks who tries to find the humor in everything. I had 4 cops there to whitness all of it, and I did nothing wrong. Once he was knocked out we went into implied concent and that was our green light to treat him. Ok thats my story sads but true lol
 
WOW....

Yeah I have a tib fib fracture, there was no way in hell i was gonna try to stand on it.
 
lol we had a guy smoking spice over in the barracks in Pendleton last christmas. He locked his door, had a bad reaction and just started screaming like he was being raped. The duty was a new corporal who had no idea what to do or what was going on and pretty soon PMO was outside the door. Had to smash the window to get in and they find him butt naked throwing his mattress around the room lol. Bad stuff - but the thing is - way back when I was in highschool when Salvia/Spice was first coming out - you never heard about any of that stuff at all, but since the Marine Corps/Other Branches have banned it they have had to synthesize it even more so it wont show up on piss tests so I'm sure all that extra stuff that they've had to throw in is probably causing it all. Bad stuff anyways...

Sounds like this just happened on while on duty the other day? I'm over at Camp Johnson right now at a career course and I'm sure we will probably hear about it on wednesday ;)
 
Nah this was about a year ago. I thought about it and was telling someone today about it. Im trying to think of some more :laugh:. That's a pretty funny spice story
 
Stupid huh? oh, I got stupid for ya....

Im on MECEP duty and have been for the past 3.5 years. This means I remain on active duty, but attend college year-round. In exchange, I teach drill, marksmanship, and lead OCS prep for the NROTC guys near here.

I have watched entire drill competitions take place with the platoon at trail arms (m14) because the "plt cmdr" forgot to put them at port.

I have seen people get administratively seperated because they thought it would be a great idea to have sex. in the unit. during the day. IN THE CO'S OFFICE!

I have seen females show up to unit functions and drill periods wearing 2 piece bikinis bc "it was hot"

For one of the OCS prep session (read 2 hr pt hazing) one of the guys thought log pt would be great. I agreed. Rather than arrange the use of a gvt vehicle to take the log down to the beach, he made other plans. I was told the morning of the session, he had it all handled. So I assume he has already loaded the log and gotten the permission to use the van. I load all the participants into my van and pull out to the street to wait for him. I see him come around the corner, in his civilian vehicle, (a buick sedan), with the log sticking out the passenger window. And a younger midshipman holding on to it to stabilize it.

The next ones are unrelated but hilarious. At the first baseball game I ever took my wife to, in the 3rd inning she turns to me after complete silence (I know, I was amazed as well) and points to the batter. "Didnt he already get a turn to go?" she says.
Later that same game, after a pop fly that was an easy out, she turns to me and says, "If they hit the ball so hard it rips into a few pieces, do they have to catch all the pieces for it to be an out?"

The topper: My wife drives a VW bug, which I hate with the depths of my soul. It has a slight hesitation in the gears, and we have known this for quite a while, but its a good daytoday drive to work car for her until we buy a family vehicle and a bunch of kiddie seats. She tells me one day "Oh babe, I forgot last week but my engine light came on. Since we just got paid do you mind taking it down to have someone look at it please?? The knocking and weird noises have gotten really bad, and sometimes when I give it gas or just going down the road its like im in neutral." It was sunday afternoon before a holiday monday so the car had to wait until tuesday. BTW yes I attempted to explain to her why you cant just drive a car when the engine light comes on. I failed to get through. My car was in the shop for a few things so we had to resort to taking hers to dinner that evening, I figured I would use the opportunity to see how bad her vehicle had gotten. When she starts it up I notice the medley of colorful lights that pop up on her dash. I groan. The place we are going is about 3 or 4 miles down the road, nothing big, so i tell her go on. We get halfway there and the car beeps and a new set of lights pop up, including the temp and oil lights. She says, "see if you can have them fix that? I got the oil changed 700 miles ago so it doesnt need anything, dont know why that keeps coming on." OMG! After I stop screaming and hyperventilating 15 minutes later we are there. I go eat, still trying to explain the basics of proper car maintenance. When we come out I tell her to pop the hood so I can check her oil, and other fluids. I had to check 4 times because I was so confused. There wasnt anything to check. Nothing. Her car had NO OIL, not a drop on the stick, nothing. NONE! I lost my mind. I asked her if the light had come on when the problems with her car had started to worsen, she says, "NO, its been on for THREE WEEKS! Basically since I left the place to get it changed."

I think time stopped for a while. I did an immediate oil change in the parking lot (Thank god auto zone was right across the street and I am anal about having tools and stuff in my vehicles). I try to be angry but I cant because of the absurdity of it all. I cant really even comprehend the level of stupidity to be honest. The individual steps that led to me sitting there in a parking lot changing my wife's oil. Then it hits me. Those morons she took her car to NEVER REFILLED IT WITH OIL. They drained it, plugged it, then sent her on her way. And she drove like that for nearly a month.
 
lol- Being a diesel mechanic we like to have fun with the new guys that get to my shop - best one I've ever done was send a marine over to our OIC of the shop to get Fallopian Tubes for the HMMWV cause the ones in the undercarriage where looking pretty bad haha. And then my younger marines see me do this and get carried away, which leads to them draining the coolant system in a 7-ton Truck cause they told them that the coolant reseviors where you put the oil lol..
 
In the fleet I used to send the newbies to find a box of grid squares, or a plywood stretcher. fun times.
 
I don't have any funny stories... :(
 
i was an AGE mechanic in the USAF

used to send new guys to the tool crib to get...metric crescent wrench...left handed hammers...

we had light units we sent to the runway to light up aircraft or whatever they needed it for...while in the shop we had someone get inside (there were controls to start and stop unit inside)..and new people we would tell them they were voice activated..we would say "light cart start"...and it would and "light cart stop"..it would stop...when we had them try it it wouldnt start and we would say you have to say it like this and so on until we had the person pop out of the unit..
 
it does not have to be military stories by the way! I dont know if it is coincidence or not but just throwing that out there! :beerchug:
 
I had been splitting wood for a few hrs...go to grab the "old wood pile" and start in on it..when a bunch of what I thought were mosquitoes come flying out...I grab piece #2 and realize that they a bees and they are hitting hard. I got it in the ears, arms, eyes...and stupid for thinking they were mosquitoes
 
I work at a metal fab shop and one of our favorites is getting guys to go get plasma for the plasma cutter !

We have a guy working for us that is a carpenter by trade and he is slowly learning welding and other metal trade tid bits. Well his first time welding he put him thru the ringer I exchanged his shaded lens for one I keep that is painted black, we turned on the auto feed so ten feet if wire was arcing off the the table while he couldn't see out of his hood. He also had a nice suprise when a small firecracker(not powerful enough to do damage or harm) was shoved up in the end of the MIG gun.

We have also got countless guys to test their strength by taking two or there welding rods and placing them around the back of their neck and taking two fingers and see who can bend them around. The look on their face as all the flux falls down the back of their shirts is priceless

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk
 
I would have the new guys go get a bucket of steam and a squeeze sharpener. One guy game back with a pair of hedge trimmers.


Out on tapatalk
 
In the 70`s as a young man attending college, working at the local drive-in movie I watched lots and lots of karate/kungfu movies. It was the thing back then. I take up karate and tell my friends after I had been in the class for a few months. On night a buddy says hey, I am studying karate too. I ask where? He says a book. I laugh. He says come on, lets see who can kick who? We back up about 30ft each. Then we charge one another at full speed. We both go airborne and kick! He goes to the ground holding the twins, rolling around in pain. The other friends scream at me, and tell me I knew better. I help him up after a while, and no more "hey, my karate is better than yours".
 
In High School the big guy and a little guy gets into it. The little guy charges into the big guy swinging. The big guy uses his left arm to get a bit of distance between the little guy and his right hand. You had to see it. LMAO.
 
We like to send guys to the basement of the warehouse on occasion, we keep the trailer stretcher down there...
 
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