USMC joke that was told on Vets day

ditchdr

Registered
City of Hanahan put on a big Vets day event yesterday, matter of fact i was on the news ringing the bell on Engine 5 while a list of names for fallen heros was read. We had a list of speakers come and say a few words, as well as the Green Knights show up in force to support the event. Anyhow one of the last gentlemen to speak is a WWII vet and he had to have his son tell the story for him. It was a very touching story about true friend ship and how he has never once forgotten his friend he lost in the war. After hearing about the guy they called " Goldie" there was not a dry eye to be found. Even me standing at attention in my dress blues infront of Engine 5 with a stone look on my face had tears coming out of my eyes. As his son finished talking, the vet took the mic and said he has a joke for us.. it took him a few min to get it out be here it goes.

How can a Dr tell what branch of the service a child will go into?

Well you have a nurse set a toy plane, a toy tank and a toy battle ship in the crib with him.

If he grabs the tank he is a Army man.
If he grabs the battle ship he is a NAVY man.
If he grabs the air plane he is a Air Force man.


If he grabs the nurse, hes a MARINE!!!!!!

Semper FI

And thank you to all who have served this great country of ours!!!!
 
I got a better one....


How do you knock out a Marine?
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You throw sand up against a wall, and yell "HIT THE BEACH"
:rofl::laugh:
 
It's the only Marine joke I got Shawn...gotta keep it simple, ya know :laugh:
 
I have a few but they are not family friendly. They could be cleaned up I guess but that was not how I heard them and I don't want to ruin them.
 
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.


Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.


The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."


While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."


Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.


As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.


"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.


"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
 
From Military Jokes Military Humor

What the Rangers Think of the Marines

A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.

As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.

The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you an Airborne Ranger?"

The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"

The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!"



Still, Happy Birthday USMC!
 
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