Too serious around here. We need a laugh!

[AJAY]

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.

"Look here, what are you doing?" the officer asked.

"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta go."

"You're American! Well you can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.

"Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started urinating on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"

"No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

 

[ibified]

Brilliant!

 

[rubbersidedown]

Da Rubb is on this bus one day when on climbs one of those "punk-rockers". You know what I mean....he's got this giant mohawk hair-do all colored up green and red and purple. So I can't help but stare...right.???
So he see's me starrin' and gets all PI55Y.... He points to his weird hair-do and says to me..."Haven't you ever done something stupid in your life before?"

I says... "Oh ya I have. I once fugged a parrot,and was wondering if you might be my son".

RSD.

 

[badazgtp]

I like that one RSD

 

[teamorion22]

an old farmer has a chicken coop with only one rooster. He's getting old and the farmer thinks he should get a new one so he does. The farmer brings in this young, handsome rooster. Now the young rooster is walking around with his chest out and all the chickens are talking. The old **** gets pissed and goes up to the youngter and says ' this coop isn't big enough for the both of us, I challange you to a race around the barn and whoever loses has to leave." the young rooster says 'please old man, are you kidding. I'm younger, stronger, faster, hell I'm so fast I'll give you a head start." the old rooster agrees. Meanwhile the chickens are getting fiesty. excited to see the race and wondering who is gonna stay. So they set it up, ten laps around the barn. The older rooster has a half of a lap head start. the race begins and the chickens are going crazy, some for the older rooster and some for the younger. 4 or 5 laps into the race the younger rooster realizes that the old man is much faster than he anticipated but he is gaining. 7 laps and the young rooster is right on his tail. Inside the house the farmer hears all the commotion and thinks a wolf may be in the barn so he grabs his rifle. runs out on the front porch. he sees the new rooster gaining on the old rooster and shoots the youngster dead in his tracks. then he says to himself 'good lord, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month'

 

[Flicka]

an old farmer has a chicken coop with only one rooster. He's getting old and the farmer thinks he should get a new one so he does. The farmer brings in this young, handsome rooster. Now the young rooster is walking around with his chest out and all the chickens are talking. The old **** gets pissed and goes up to the youngter and says ' this coop isn't big enough for the both of us, I challange you to a race around the barn and whoever loses has to leave." the young rooster says 'please old man, are you kidding. I'm younger, stronger, faster, hell I'm so fast I'll give you a head start." the old rooster agrees. Meanwhile the chickens are getting fiesty. excited to see the race and wondering who is gonna stay. So they set it up, ten laps around the barn. The older rooster has a half of a lap head start. the race begins and the chickens are going crazy, some for the older rooster and some for the younger. 4 or 5 laps into the race the younger rooster realizes that the old man is much faster than he anticipated but he is gaining. 7 laps and the young rooster is right on his tail. Inside the house the farmer hears all the commotion and thinks a wolf may be in the barn so he grabs his rifle. runs out on the front porch. he sees the new rooster gaining on the old rooster and shoots the youngster dead in his tracks. then he says to himself 'good lord, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month'

 

[dadofthree]

 

[BusaWizard]

 

[NINJA KILLER]

 

[Robot]

My position has me often dealing with French Canadians

 

[BA BUSA]

 

[Evil_keeps_me_young]

 

[jjbusa]

lmao

 

[2BmrsDo3]

 

[JGoodson]

 

[head east busa]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

[MelodicMetalGod]

Funny stuff.

 

[Wallie]

 

[bazmaniac]

 

[head east busa]

Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her
wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do.
You wore that same negligee the night we were married"
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and said;

" Mission Accomplished."