TO DADS AND MOMS OF YOUNG ONES...

OB_Dirty Pete

Registered
Yngve's blessed event and the congratulations from so many members who are revealing in their congratulatory messages that they are themselves parents prompts me, also a father of very young daughters, to ask a question that concerns me every time I get on my Busa.

If I wreck myself up permanently so I can't be a fully functional dad for them, how will I live with myself? If I crash and die, won't my legacy to them just be that they had an ass for a dad?

Four years ago, when my first daughter was born, I sold my beloved V-Max and a race bike because I believed that risking my life on a bike when I had taken on such an awesome responsibility was grossly irresponsible. It was a decision I took on my own with no pressure from anyone.

I went for 3 long years without a bike...for the first time since 1966.

Now I'm back on a bike, and not just any old bike, risking my life with glee, and I confess to twinges of guilt when I pull into the driveway covered in smashed bugs fresh from a 185 mph run or a track day to see my 2 little angels and their mom playing so innocently on the lawn.

I manage to deal with it with my wife's support. If she wasn't supportive I wouldn't ride. But she believes a bike is not a luxury for me and that I have to have one to be happy. Nevertheless, I still have a constant low-grade anxiety about it.

Anyone other parents have these feelings, and how do you deal with them?

No flames, please. It's an important issue for parents who ride and especially for parents who ride very fast bikes and ride them fast.
 
Dirty Pete

When my first kid was born I had two bikes. I was in some financial trouble at the time and had to start selling things. I also stopped going to the races. The economy here took a dump and there were a couple of bad years. My second kid was born two years ago.

Things have started to pick back up and I started going back to the track. At first I was just tuning and wrenching on a friends dragster (yes that would be a (7.44@180.75) cage, and yes I like them!). Six months ago I started looking for a bike again. I was checking out a CBR 600. At first I thought it was just terribly under powered. Whizzing past a guardrail, in a tight turn, I noticed that my helmet was about 18 inches from removing my head. My thoughts went right to my two girls. How could I leave them? I couldn't bear the idea of not watching them grow up.

A month later I bought a top alcohol funny car (go figure). I had come to realize that going fast was too much a part of who I am. My wife was not surprised. She said, she knew I was a racer when we met, and knew that I would always have that need.

Three months ago a friend of mine let me ride his R-1. Damn! I told him to just give me heroin next time; at least there's treatment for that. The funny car program was about to be dealt a blow. I told my "friend" to find one of those R-1's for me. He said NO; you want a bike called the Hayabusa. That's how I found this org.

At the risk of sounding wimpy, I've had to go back to work on the funny car. I used to make good money with these things, and I'm meeting with a potential sponsor today.

The Hayabusa will have to wait a little longer. I like to be informed on a potential purchase so you will have to excuse my presence as a non-owner.

I guess if you need to haul ass, nothing will change that.

Now I need to borrow that R-1 again. Damn!

(Definitely go for the life insurance!)


[This message has been edited by maui (edited 22 September 1999).]
 
My Daughter has been on my 92Fatboy and 89 GSXR-1100 since she was 11 months old.I use to ride around our park and have my girl on the gas tank with lots of blankets.My wife freaked out when she saw me coming around the conner with the baby.I was only doing 5-10mph.My daughter is now 7 yrs old and loves motorcycles and snakes,"can't figure the snake part.But my wife said she rather have me on my Hayabusa then the Harley since she has crashed a couple of times on the Harley and I have once.Anyways I try to teach my daughter right from wrong and good and eveil.I have been lectured about speeding since my daughter tells my wife everytime she's in my sports car,cause she asks me why I'm not letting the other cars pass me and I tell her that I'm doing a little HOT WHEELS thing.So now if my daughter rides in my car and I go fast she tells mommie that daddy was Hot Wheeling on the freeway.
 
Pete:
I also have a 4 yr old and a 1.5 yr old. Just before our daughter was born 4yrs ago, I had to sell my GSXR1100 for financial reasons. However my wife does not like me to ride. Luckily I have been able to ride a friends ZX-11 to get me through the summer urges. But the financial issue is gone now and I have been dying for another bike of my own for 3 years. I miss the adrenaline, that keeps me feeling alive. But at the same time I don't feel comfortable about grinding pegs around mountain roads with a family waiting at home. But I don't feel to bad about topping out on the highway with minimal traffic every now and then. I think you have to try and balance needs with responsibility. If you worry constantly about biting the big one, then you might as well lock yourself up in your house and not go anywhere. Plus your kids will learn from your example. If you are over cautious they will be over cautious. The big question is, would you feel comfortable if they were doing the same thing you are? If you are willing to live with that then you are O.K. If not then you have to re-think your priorities. I am still wrestling with that decision. But I think you need to think about playing it safer for your families sake, but at what cost. That decision is different for everyone. For me I have mellowed and have $500,000 life insurance on my head, which isn't tons but would allow them to survive financially.
You have raised a good question though.
 
Maui: You is a seriously addicted G-freak. Glad to have you here whether you've got your Busa yet or not. Hope you snag your sponsor. You're the only person I've ever met who would even slightly complain about having to "go back" to a funny car program. You make it pretty obvious to me that even speed addicts can be good dads.

Cisco: Because of what you said I took both girls for a ride on the tank up the driveway today. They were nervous, REAL nervous at first, but now they're begging for more.

Easyrider: Send your wife over here for a while and my wife will put her straight. Your advice about trying to be a little more cautious is good. I could definitely avoid some of the more assholic riders that suck me into really bad stuff on the streets (LIKE YOU MALCOLM!!) You're right about influencing kids to be over-cautious. Thank God for friends with fast bikes who let you ride them! Meanwhile, get into drug trafficking...quick proceeds...quick Busa.

Falconer: Your pattern; my pattern. I don't want my kids to see me as a Chevy driving basket case citizen. I want them to have some frickin' spirit. And what better way to teach them the value of spirit than to......

Lyle: Go soak your head in adrenalin for the sake of your family. Some day, they'll comprehendez.

Turbo1: First, what the f*** do you need a Busa speed hit for when you've got a 250hp turbo bike at your disposal? To you, a Busa will feel like a lawnmower. Second, thank you for reminding me to be very cautious about taking my children's mother on my bike. Three years ago, the 35 year old mother of 3 who used to deliver our morning paper went downtown with her husband on their H-D to see a show. On the way back at midnight, it rained hard, so they pulled over under a bridge on a busy highway and got off their bike. Some fairy in a Honda cage lost control, swerved across three lanes, smashed into the husband and spattered him in front of his wife, and then destroyed her legs. She's still alive, but very messed. They had 3 kids, 5 to 15 years old.

All we could do was set up a fund and contribute $250.

Putting both parents on the bike at the same time is triple dangerous.

AIN'T PARENTING GRAND?



[This message has been edited by Dirty Pete (edited 23 September 1999).]
 
DP
Yes I like the G's. I also like when you can see the fire outside of the windows (so long as it STAYS outside).

Meeting with the sponsor went well. Get to keep going forward at the pace that I need.

Funny car vs. Hayabusa, hmm? Funny cars are faster, LOTS faster. But you need about 40 hours of prep work in order to go run for the weekend. Hayabusa, way way way fast. You need about four minutes to get ready to go. Did I mention the cost difference?

Don't sweat being a good Dad. If you weren't, you'd never have started worrying about it any way. Mental stability is something you'll need a lot more of later.
 
Keep a picture of your children on the Triple Clamp,,it'll remind you as it does me,,to say to yourself at 191..to slow the frig down,,and go home at 100

Kids are what keeps us somewhat sane,,keep and protect them with all your power.

161 ®
 
Dirty Pete --

Great minds think alike :) .

When my daughter was born I sold my bike, because I felt that Daddies Don't Ride Motorcycles. I lasted until she was four, and just couldn't take it anymore, and bought a Honda V65 Sabre.

Now I've got the Hayabusa, and I _do_ feel guilty when I ride like someone who has a Hayabusa (a grinning nutcase), but not enough to stop me from doing it.

I _always_ wear a helmet and a full body suit with spine protection, but that doesn't make me immortal.

On the other hand, what good is having a Dad who's sits by the front window, howling at the moon every time a motorcycle drives by? That's what she'd have if I didn't have the 'busa.

-- Falconer
 
I quit rock climbing when my daughter was born same logic as Dirty Pete. Now she's 21 and I need some adrenalin. I feel the need for speed!

[This message has been edited by Lyle (edited 23 September 1999).]
 
Pete, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have a 2 year old daughter, and a 1 MONTH old baby daughter. I don't have a Hayabusa, but I do have a turbocharged 86 GSXR1100. I ALWAYS wear full leathers, boots, gloves, and of course a helmet. Still, I am very careful of where and when I open it up, and I am TERRIFIED of something happening to me that would leave my daughters without a father. Having my little girls has made me more cautious, but I still love to go on the freeway and let it rip! I guess that part of me will never go away, but with slightly more discretion. I actually took my wife on a 150 mph highway blast before we had the girls, now I wouldn't even consider letting her get on the bike. That may not be fair, but the thought of hurting my babies mother (my fault or not) is just too great. Of course, a Hayabusa would be easier to ride than my tempermental turbo bike, so I would consider giving my wife a ride at a very sedate pace. Ah, hopefully I'll own a Hayabusa withing the next year...or two...Gawd, I'm getting depressed! I want a Hayabusa so bad I can taste it...but thats another story.
 
Have never been without a bike. I have two sons, one eleven and the other nine...they trade every other Saturday to ride with me...every third Saturday is Dad's day. My best bud died 10 years ago at 32...run over by a boat a friend was driving...My dad died at 58 after a routine operation...You don't know when it's coming...your family just has to know that if you go on your bike, you went doing what you loved to do!! If you think about it too long....it ruins you.
 
Dirty Pete, yeah, the 250 Hp is nice, but to get those HP numbers requires a high amount of boost, which requires good (racing) gas, which is expensive, etc. etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my turbo bike, but a Hayabusa it ISN'T! The bike is uncomfortable, and while generally reliable I am never comfortable about straying too far from home. I'm constantly monitoring oil temp (remember, this bike is air/oil cooled), fuel pressure, EGT (exhaust gas temperature), not to mention boost. The Hayabusa would be a bike to get on, go VERY fast, and not worry about reliabilty..all with pump gas! I want one!
 
No doubt ...I have two children Billy4 and Sarah6 I love them more than life itself .I think about it everytime I get on the Bus .What if,the thought of some asswipe raising my children or me sitting in a wheelchair drooling in the corner is definatly sobbering.A picture on my tank bag and a promise to myself work most of the time...most.Like the other "Super Dad`s " on this site our need to ride is more than a passing fancy ,its a part of us.Hopefully nothing ever bad will happen to anyone of us even Falcon cop or Zx12..lol.God bless Dads everywhere ...no matter what they ride.
 
I have ridden a bike throughout my daughter's life and while I was probably more reckless when I was younger. I now pick and choose my opportunities more carefully. I think you can go fast without being irresponsible. You know when you are at risk and if you care about your kids ride accordingly. The fact that you are a rider does not mean you have to be selfishly risking your life. I just think that parents should be more careful of when and where they ride fast. It's not that hard to find a place where you can ride fast without putting yourself at high risk. Just my $0.02
 
DP if motorcycling is mainly about "RUNNING BALLS TO THE WALL WITH POLICE SEARCH LIGHTS ON YOU", then I think its silly for you to worry about wife and kids. Anyone who rides with that ethic has already written off any family obligations. Just get lots of insurance, one of those beany helmets the Harley guys like so much, a silk scarf, and go after those bears in the air.
 
You're right Sherm...it's a conflict for me. That's why I started this thread.

But let's face it, one doesn't run balls to the wall under etc. more than a couple times in a life.

I think it's great because I've been there.

It's the biggest thrill is all I'm saying.

I get my serious jollies out on the track these days, being as old and responsible as I am now.

I'm a responsible dad for a bike lifer.

Thanks for the comment.
 
Boy DP I thought this emotional roller coaster was over!
My wife and I are expecting our first child in Nov. I thought long and hard before buying the Busa in June. I finally left the decision up to my wife not only did she give me the go ahead she helped pick out some of the accessories! What a woman!

We take risks everyday, in our cars, in planes, in our jobs. Since my job is risky it just doesnt help to sit down with a book and try to unwind. Dealing with the tangible aspects of sportbike riding is one of two ways that I have found to put some order back into my life!

I truly believe that the intelligent risk takers are bound to be better parents in the long run. Are we setting bad examples? No. We are teaching our children responsibility and the joys of life. We are teaching them not to be affraid. We are teaching them they are the masters of their fate!

Will I still ride after my son is born. Yep.
Will I teach my son the about the thrills and pitfalls of life? Damn straight!
Will I worry about the dangers of cycling evertime I get on the Busa? Yes, until I hit second gear!
 
Back
Top