Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners

thrasherfox

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Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.


Dining Out

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs.


Entertaining In Your Home

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.


Personal Hygiene

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.


Dating (outside the family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, "Ya'll sure don't sweat much for a fat gal."


Weddings

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.


Driving Etiquette

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
 
HaHa, I've done this!

6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
 
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well least i finally have a good compliment for all the hotties ............
 
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,18:21)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:19) Rules you live by Ron?
Next time I see you I am getting a 4 foot latter, climbing to the top and beyotch slapping you!!!


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I'm not accusing you or anything Ron, I just remember having to remind you to "2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs." At Outback...


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(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:28)
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,18:21)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:19) Rules you live by Ron?
Next time I see you I am getting a 4 foot latter, climbing to the top and beyotch slapping you!!!


smileyexhibit.gif




tounge.gif
I'm not accusing you or anything Ron, I just remember having to remind you to "2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs." At Outback...


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You know what!! that was one time ONNNEEEE TTTIIIMMEEEE and you are going to give me grief!!




Just like you never let me live down that one time with that sheep.. geezzzz ONE TIME!!


Oh wait, did I say that outloud?
 
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,19:14)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:28)
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,18:21)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:19) Rules you live by Ron?
Next time I see you I am getting a 4 foot latter, climbing to the top and beyotch slapping you!!!


smileyexhibit.gif




tounge.gif
I'm not accusing you or anything Ron, I just remember having to remind you to "2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs." At Outback...


poke.gif
You know what!! that was one time ONNNEEEE TTTIIIMMEEEE and you are going to give me grief!!




Just like you never let me live down that one time with that sheep.. geezzzz ONE TIME!!


Oh wait, did I say that outloud?
The sad thing is... Even when the sheep was with you, she was calling out my name...


BBBEEEEEEEEEEENNNN.
 
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,19:29)
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,19:14)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:28)
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,18:21)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:19) Rules you live by Ron?
Next time I see you I am getting a 4 foot latter, climbing to the top and beyotch slapping you!!!


smileyexhibit.gif




tounge.gif
I'm not accusing you or anything Ron, I just remember having to remind you to "2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs." At Outback...


poke.gif
You know what!! that was one time ONNNEEEE TTTIIIMMEEEE and you are going to give me grief!!




Just like you never let me live down that one time with that sheep.. geezzzz ONE TIME!!


Oh wait, did I say that outloud?
The sad thing is... Even when the sheep was with you, she was calling out my name...


BBBEEEEEEEEEEENNNN.
the sad thing REALLY is, for the sheep to know YOUR name "BBBEEEEEEEEEEENNNN", that would mean, that this has been a long running / lasting relationship?

that thread about the babysitter, you know the readhead, do you actually have one out behind the house? you know a sheep with hair painted red?

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(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,16:14)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:28)
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 03 2007,18:21)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,15:19) Rules you live by Ron?
Next time I see you I am getting a 4 foot latter, climbing to the top and beyotch slapping you!!!


smileyexhibit.gif




tounge.gif
I'm not accusing you or anything Ron, I just remember having to remind you to "2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs." At Outback...


poke.gif
You know what!! that was one time ONNNEEEE TTTIIIMMEEEE and you are going to give me grief!!




Just like you never let me live down that one time with that sheep.. geezzzz ONE TIME!!


Oh wait, did I say that outloud?
TMI
crazy.gif
 
(badassbusa03 @ Apr. 03 2007,21:15)
(yamahor @ Apr. 03 2007,19
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)
The sad thing is... Even when the sheep was with you, she was calling out my name...


BBBEEEEEEEEEEENNNN.
the sad thing REALLY is, for the sheep to know YOUR name "BBBEEEEEEEEEEENNNN", that would mean, that this has been a long running / lasting relationship?

that thread about the babysitter, you know the readhead, do you actually have one out behind the house? you know a sheep with hair painted red?

crazy.gif


eek2.gif
That's bad... I mean REAL BAAAAAAAAD.




She also has pigtails and a schoolgirl outfit she wears...
 
(thrasherfox @ Apr. 04 2007,10:32) Here is BBBHHHEEEENNNNN's girl friend
That's just so wrong...I'd better break out the old band-aids and doctor that pic a bit
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(thrasherfox @ Apr. 04 2007,10:32) Here is BBBHHHEEEENNNNN's girl friend
Mom, DAAAAD... *ahem* Say hi to my girlfriend... Bhhheeessieeee.
 
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