Things you'd love to say out loud at work

BusaSamurai

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40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shitte.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a dang word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a dang.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about
you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-arssed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different
 
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Don't or Can't?

Being active duty Navy there are some days when I would LOVE to say I quit, but can't..................... Oh well 28 months and counting until the big 2 0 when I will pack my seabag for the last time and head to the house.

Don
 
Don't or Can't?

Being active duty Navy there are some days when I would LOVE to say I quit, but can't..................... Oh well 28 months and counting until the big 2 0 when I will pack my seabag for the last time and head to the house.

Don
Oh you can say it....they just dont care. I dont know how many times i said i quit in the Army....They just looked, smiled, and then stated....keep moving....


Gotta love the military.
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Here's two of my favs...

1. Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute and emergency on mine.

and....

2. Even the village idiot knows that whipping the slaves doesn't make the cotton grow any faster.

"poor management" never did seem to be very fond of me.
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L8R, Bill.
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I can't add mine here without getting banned from the site for life.  
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Ditto on all of post #1. Sometimes it sucks to be the boss, because you can't say any of those!!!!
 
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