Things you'd love to say at work, but can't

manic panic

Try one of these every day for the next month at work.. just for the #### of it...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of poop.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it
my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a ####.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's #### with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, disorder -- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Mankind has finally discovered a better way to solve its problems. We are all fired and the job placement people are here to get us all regular jobs.

Marc "Howlin Mad" :usa:
I used this one, and got in a little trouble for it...

"You know, that's just another example of why women shouldn't have ever been allowed in the workplace".

Yeah, that was probably not good.

"F**K this place, I'm going home!"   (in eric cartman's voice..)

hmmm I do say that...haahaa

Reason for Edit: "cause I suk at typing..."|1098995726 -->
That kid is a waste of skin.

(Said it this morning in a teacher's conference)

Get yer head outta yer but!

(Said 2 days ago in a prent/teacher conference)
I'm a supervisor at work but one of my favorite lines is this...."I'm not here to be your friend, I'm here for a paycheck."
Heck I have this one posted on my cube where my name is supposed to go!
24. Do I look like a people person?


Reason for Edit: "1151"|1099018995 -->
I usually say exactly what's on my mind...and I've made a few enemies that way...
Oh well, fug 'em...

Those were good...
The crazy part about that list is being that I am a Bartender
I can use most of those at saying anytime I see fit when dealing with a bunch of drunks...