They are back and they are mad

ditchdr

Registered
Everyone here knows my fear of snakes. Dang things are pure worthless to me. Not to mention they stalk me.

Well I do have some other fears, so sure fel free to make fun of me, but here they are

Gnomes, they give me the willies. Even if a expidea ad comes on I change the channel..
Stuffed animals that have no eyes.. I will cross the street to get away from them..

Now that you know this, I can start my story.


Saturday I go to mow a lawn, I pull up and the neighbor ( whos drive way is the proprety line) has a gnome army lined up on the drive way. I kid you not there were 30 or 40 of them creepy ass things. I call the customer tell him I will be back later. Go back at 6pm Gnomes are gone, start mowing and seems I run across a snake in the lawn. I use a stick and toss it into the ditch over the back fence. So all weekend I have the willies from Saturday night.

Start my mowing route today, First lawn I get to the home owner is out side, seems he has 2 pet red tail boa's.. Yeah told him im not getting out of my truck untill them things are locked in the house.


Half way through the day I go to sweet miss Normads home. Lady is 80 something years old ,and just the sweetest lady you have ever met. I usually talk to her for a few min before I take care of the lawn. She tells me she got a few new statues for the back yard. She has all kinds cement statues in her back yard. Kind of reminds me of a terracotta army at times.. Well guess what she has now? Thats right the start of a Gnome collection. I tell her they give me the creeps and she laughs. Then so knows I am serious. Well by the time i get done with the front and move into the back lawn, I notice she has put a black moving blanket over them lol..

2 lawns later I am mowing by a pond and come face to face with a mess of cotton mouth snakes.. Good thing I did not step off the mower of my ass would have been bitten!!!!


So folks they are ganging up on me.. Next thing you know there will be little lawn gnomes holding eyeless stuffed animals around a snake pit in every lawn..
 
Last week I killed a copper head with the weed eater. Very important which side of the weed eater you use, kinda slung it back at me. Talk about doing the wild monkey dance.
 
Last week I killed a copper head with the weed eater. Very important which side of the weed eater you use, kinda slung it back at me. Talk about doing the wild monkey dance.


That was one of them OH CRAP moments I'm sure.... my son shot one snake last week in the back yard and not an hour later happened to be out on the deck pointing out to his mom where he shot it and dang if there wasn't another one there in almost the exact same spot:banghead: got him too though:laugh:

Be careful out there ditchdr--- I'm not laughing at ya bro, just with ya... cotton mouths are BAD dudes and I'm sure you know that-- just be careful---that's the ONLY snake I've ever seen that will come after you literally...they have bad attitudes...
 
Well this is what the Gnomes think of you I just wanna let you know...
mooning-gnome-fun.jpg


Stay away from me Lucky Charms !
 
All the wet weather throughout the southeast has driven snakes out of low lying areas, they will be more prevalent for a while. Be careful out there.
 
Gnomes freak me out too! I can't stand em and want to destroy every single one I see. What in the heck are they good for anyway? They remind me of that troll movie, they look just like that creepy creature and it give me the willies......I've got chill bumps just typing this.:laugh:
 
LOL all I did was type "evil gnome" into google, it's the 1st thing that came up...I hope it's not too mean for ditchdr :laugh: But it had to be done :rulez:
 
start mowing and seems I run across a snake in the lawn. I use a stick and toss it into the ditch over the back fence. So all weekend I have the willies from Saturday night.

If I come across a snake it's usually a good day for me. Granted they are much less common up here in Montana but I have always had a bit of a fascination with them. I have had a pet corn snake since 2nd grade, he's 23 years old now.

As a snake lover I commend you not just killing the little guy.
 
My girlfriends got a brazilian rainbow boa it's only supposed to grow 5-7 ft this thing is 8 ft, one night me my girlfriend and son had a lot to drink and my son asked if he could hold it (I was so drunk I can't remember any of this) so my girlfriend got the snake out and he held it for a pic then I get hold of it and it started to wrap itself around my throat my son got it off and all I could say was why did you do that it only wanted to give me a cuddle. I seem to have trouble with animals bitten by a ferret, bitten up the nose by a rat, jack russell bit me and disfigured my finger, budgie that hurt, squirrel bit me, rat in shop bit me, peed on by more than one of my cats, peed on by more than one of my dogs, mums jack russell bit me a lot. Sorry I seemed to have got off the subject here. Don't mind gnomes, now clowns thats another thing. Ta Dave
 
You need my dog Rocky. Yesterday the largest garter snake I have ever seen slithered across my sidewalk and into a row of bushes. My great dane, Rocky, jumped into the bushes and came out with the snake in his mouth shaking it back and forth violently. It sounded like a whip cracking he was shaking it so hard and fast. By the time I got him to drop it the snake was broken in half and dead. He completely lost interest in the snake once it was dead. He is also hard on birds, squirrels, rabbits, possums and any other wild critters that enter my yard. He loves other dogs though and doesnt bother any dogs that come into my yard.

rockypark.jpg
 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm still picturing you jumping off the mower running like a little school girl over the snake last summer. :whistle:

Sorry sweety....couldn't resist!!
 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm still picturing you jumping off the mower running like a little school girl over the snake last summer. :whistle:

Sorry sweety....couldn't resist!!

what about the time he thought it was a snake but turned out to be a stick?:rofl:

Priceless!
 
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