The sales rep


With too much work to do, I decided to stay in the office while the rest of the gang took off for an early weekend. My wife was visiting her family with the kids upstate and I had an empty house waiting for me were I to go home early anyway.
It had been a sweltering week with record high temperatures. So with the HVAC system having trouble coping I decided to cut loose of the tie, unbutton my shirt and roll up my sleeves to cool off a bit. Difficulty concentrating is my biggest problem on days like this, cranking out a few sets of push ups to get my blood flowing again would be the solution.
The buzzer rang at the front door to our officespace in a rather non-descript industrial park. Not expecting anybody, I was surprised to see someone at the door other than a parcel service employee or security.
Assuming it was a mistake I went to the door without any expectations.

Her: "Hi I'm Stacy with ADT and wondered if you had some time to discuss your security monitoring needs."

Me: (thinking to myself while putting my left hand in my pocket: Wow, don't leave your mouth gaping buddy, play it cool.) "Haha.. Nice, who put you up to this?"

Stacy was around 25 years old with blond hair, brown eyes and fit somewhere in between Britney and Jessica as far as resemblance. Stunning to say the least. Her outfit was that subdued office attire that was meant to be comfortable on hot days and accentuate all the right curves at the same time. My focus was straining to maintain itself at her forehead and away from the low cut top showcasing a class "A" set of "assets".

Stacy: "I'm afraid that I don't follow. What do you mean?"

Me: "Nevermind. Come on in, we can talk in the front office."

She followed me in after I locked the door. Had she been able to see my face, it would have been all over because I had the universal "YES!" expression. Stacy sat across from me on the large leather couch as I sat in the chair with the low coffee table between us. Her well fitting skirt was drawing my attention everytime she looked away to show me another brochure.
Something told me that she was very aware of what she was doing and was an expert at controlling the room.
My heartrate had settled and I began to breath deeply as she continued offering more options for our security infrastructure. It seemed that with every passing offer, she became more relaxed and forward. Our eye contact increased until I was wondering if this was work or play for her.
Obviously, this was a marketing ploy for her company and she must have been a very effective sales rep. My decision to entertain her and keep her talking was all part of a strategy. She would not get our money today but I just wanted to see how far she would take her sales game. The hidden security cameras were trained on the sitting area due to a previous unfounded harrassment lawsuit. Now the company did not mess around with chance.
Stacy got to the proposition of pitching a package she deemed would be suitable for our office. My answer was disappointing to her because she must have been accustomed to having male customers eager to please by signing on the dotted line.
Stacy: "We could work something out to come to an agreement."
Me: "Honestly, I haven't seen anything very appealing."
Stacy shifted on the couch, stretched like a kitten and inhaled deeply, allowing me a glimpse of her "endowments".
Stacy: "Are you sure you haven't seen anything you like?"
Me: (Trembling with restraint) "Uhm.. Yes, I am f-f-fairly sure."
Stacy: "I see, let me show you something else."
She stood up and faced away while she bent over at the waist to look into her rather large bag. I saw her look back at me with a sinister look while rummaging through her bag. Then she turned towards me and got very close as she said: "I can't seem to find what I am looking for in here." The moment is still burning in my mind because I could suddenly see everything I was looking for. Feeling a tingling sensation, I quickly caught my breath and refocused.
Me: "Say, Stacy, do you like motorcycles?"
Stacy: "Wha, what? Uhm, yes.. I do"
Me: "Would you like to go for a ride sometime"
Stacy: "Tha, that sounds wonderful.. But I can't right now, gotta head off to the gym.."
Me: "Okay"
Stacy: "Listen, would it be too much trouble to go ahead and get changed here?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Me: (Trying not to sound eager) "Shu, sure.. Why not?"
She really wanted to make a sale because she disrobed right there in front of me.............CENSORED...........CENSORED.............CENSORED.............CENSORED...............CENSORED.............CENSORED..........CENSORED...............CENSORED
Dude, you need help for real!!

You coulda shortened all that up to "Pizza ..................... I didn't order any pizza !!!" (fade into cheap p.o.r.n. soundtrack) ........................

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Dude, you need help for real!!

You coulda shortened all that up to "Pizza ..................... I didn't order any pizza !!!" (fade into cheap p.o.r.n. soundtrack) ........................


Sounds like extra cheesy! :laugh:

That stuff is too easy.. I'm shooting for high end P0rn.. :rofl:
PERFECT. MasterProjekt Theatre at it's finest! I will be grinning all day.

You really outta write dude, you have a knack for it.
was this her ?