The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doesn't

mike1180

Banned
Someone just had a thread that said it was getting boring here.
OK here we go.
I can't wait to see the ladies wade in here.
WOW. I always felt this but leave it to science to tag it!

Excerpts from the article at:

The couples who live the longest | Macleans.ca - Culture - Lifestyle

The couples who lived the longest were the ones in which the husband expressed his negative emotions while the wife suppressed hers. (As opposed to spouses who both expressed their anger, or both suppressed it.) "You figure that out," says Ernest Harburg, the lead researcher and a psychology professor emeritus at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, acknowledging the bewildering finding.
What's so fascinating about the result is that it goes against the hallmark of marital advice: everyone should communicate constantly.
If you don't accept that females do most of the complaining, consider a 2002 study in the Journal of Pragmatics, which found that two-thirds of the nagging that occurs within a family is carried out by women.
That can play out in the demand-withdraw pattern.
You know the model: wife expresses concern, husband ignores wife, wife feels dismissed and reiterates concern, husband feels threatened and further retreats, and on it goes until there's an explosive encounter. This pattern predicts a decline in marital satisfaction, says Robles, and women in these situations show higher levels of stress hormones than men. "So when a husband doesn't participate in arguments, it is damaging for a woman's health," he explains.
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

Someone just had a thread that said it was getting boring here.
OK here we go.
I can't wait to see the ladies wade in here.
WOW. I always felt this but leave it to science to tag it!

Excerpts from the article at:

The couples who live the longest | Macleans.ca - Culture - Lifestyle

The couples who lived the longest were the ones in which the husband expressed his negative emotions while the wife suppressed hers. (As opposed to spouses who both expressed their anger, or both suppressed it.) "You figure that out," says Ernest Harburg, the lead researcher and a psychology professor emeritus at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, acknowledging the bewildering finding.
What's so fascinating about the result is that it goes against the hallmark of marital advice: everyone should communicate constantly.
If you don't accept that females do most of the complaining, consider a 2002 study in the Journal of Pragmatics, which found that two-thirds of the nagging that occurs within a family is carried out by women.
That can play out in the demand-withdraw pattern.
You know the model: wife expresses concern, husband ignores wife, wife feels dismissed and reiterates concern, husband feels threatened and further retreats, and on it goes until there's an explosive encounter. This pattern predicts a decline in marital satisfaction, says Robles, and women in these situations show higher levels of stress hormones than men. "So when a husband doesn't participate in arguments, it is damaging for a woman's health," he explains.
Staying single with booty calls on the side would cure all that.....everybody would live longer :thumbsup:
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

Staying single with booty calls on the side would cure all that.....everybody would live longer :thumbsup:

Im with him on this topic.^^^^^^^^^

Women/Girlfreinds =:banghead: Will drive you crazy.

Strange women you only see a few times a month =:beerchug: Let the good times roll.

Im sorry to all the females that are reading this but you all know how we really feel. :please: "Lord please make her mute" :bowdown: :whistle:
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

I guess BW and I will live forever. I just don't feel it necessary to nag my husband about anything. He is a good man/boy :laugh: and it just doesn't do anyone any good if both parties are going at it all the time. Some one has to remain positive to defuse the situation. I lived through 18 years of parents and grandparents going at it ALL the time. Not good for anyone!!!
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

...meh..... "Science" is only good with NUMBERS, not PEOPLE. And that's all I have to say about that.

Brought to you by SCIENCE! The people that brought you:
"The sun is bad for you.... no wait! NOW, it's good for you!"
"Wrist rests are good for you on your keyboard... no wait! No they aren't"
"The ozone will be gone in 1999 and we'll all be dead.... no wait! What year is it now??"
"We cause global warming... no wait! It's natural"
"Love does not exists, just chemical reaction"
.... FOR.... THE...... WIN
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

I have been married for 32 years and hope to live to be 110 years old. All this by listening and being there for each other. We all have good times and bad times and we all need someone to listen and talk in good times and bad times.
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

My wife is my best friend and we vent with each other about jobs, kids, money, etc. In the end we always come to an understanding in a loving and supportive manner. No relationship is perfect, but you can make it wonderful if you repsect your partner and look at the bigger picture.
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

I guess BW and I will live forever. I just don't feel it necessary to nag my husband about anything. He is a good man/boy :laugh: and it just doesn't do anyone any good if both parties are going at it all the time. Some one has to remain positive to defuse the situation. I lived through 18 years of parents and grandparents going at it ALL the time. Not good for anyone!!!

Yeah, but you are not the typical women.... Dennis is a lucky man, anyone that has met you will agree with that.
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

I am thinking of returning to single life...
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

choose your battles.... :whistle:
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

this is "redistribution" of life years... :rofl: quiet woman whilst I take a few of your years...
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

this is "redistribution" of life years... :rofl: quiet woman whilst I take a few of your years...

Considering women live over 5 years longer than men (on average) that may be a good thing.
This article may also explain why those numbers are that way.
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

Confirmed bachelor...divorced at 22, I figured it out early...

:laugh:

:moon:

:beerchug:
 
Re: The couples who live the longest: He expresses his negative feelings, but she doe

Confirmed bachelor...divorced at 22, I figured it out early...

:laugh:

:moon:

:beerchug:


:laugh::beerchug:

Unfortunately it took me a few azz whoopin's to realize I am apparently not meant to be married... :banghead:
 
Back
Top