gurrera
Registered
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on his cell phone to report that his car has been broken into.
He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" he cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm… An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in "Disregard." he says
"He got in the back-seat by mistake."
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.
She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see'
She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters,
she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...'
She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ___________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.'
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair…
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
_________ _____________________ ______________________________ ______
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
Gurrera
An elderly Floridian called 911 on his cell phone to report that his car has been broken into.
He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" he cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm… An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in "Disregard." he says
"He got in the back-seat by mistake."
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.
She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see'
She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters,
she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...'
She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
______________________________ ______________________________ ___________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.'
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair…
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
_________ _____________________ ______________________________ ______
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
Gurrera
