Speeding ticket

Wag

Evil Demon Busa Rider
Donating Member
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Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.

One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 mph! Their radar then suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

Just then, a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had, in fact, latched on to an RAF's 'Tornado' jet fighter, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint about the wrecked radar equipment to the "RAF Liaison" office.

Back came the reply in true laconic "RAF" style:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your radar equipment, and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft also automatically locked onto your equipment.

Fortunately, the pilot flying the Tornado recognized the situation and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched. Have a good day."
 
Fn great!!!!
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Another favorite of mine. Didn't actually happen (the Coral Sea was scrapped in 1993, so this didnt happen in 1995, anyway)

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
 
ROFLMAO. I like the line: "Have a good day." at the end of the first joke.
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Another favorite of mine. Didn't actually happen (the Coral Sea was scrapped in 1993, so this didnt happen in 1995, anyway)

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
That's the other one I was looking for!

--Wag--
 
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