Speaking the truth of the deceased?

[1340]

There's a lot of douche bags in this planet that passaway everyday (i might be one of them) and it never fails that almost everyone speaking on their behalf always says good things about them when they die. My question to you is: If the person that just died is a complete douche bag would you tell it as it is? or would you jump in the "he/she was a great person" band wagon and make the family and the community feel like he/she gonna be missed?

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Momma always said if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all..:shutup:
No I would not say it if i could not mean it ..dead or alive..

 

[Treelimb]

Momma always said if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all..:shutup:
No I would not say it if i could not mean it ..dead or alive..

Agreee with you also, see everyday out here also.

 

[MC MUSTANG]

Not sure if you are a fan of Science Fiction or not, but there is a book by Orson Scott Card called "Speaker of the Dead". The book is exactly that, that it is best to describe a person's life as it actually was, so that maybe, people with the different perspectives or who were familiar with different facets of a person's life might all better understand who a person was and why they were the way they were.

The book is part of the "Ender" series.

 

[afterhours]

sometimes people are so heavy in thier denial, they cannot accept the truth while a person is alive....why would it change when a person dies?

i do think that at rare times, a family or loved ones may not know the truth....but that is rare i think.

 

[k03gsxr750]

I don't think I could bring myself to tell a grieving friend or family member their loved one was a douche, not that I wouldn't think it, just that its in terrible taste to say it. Unless it was something major they needed to know I would leave it go. Why wreck someones memory for a loved one??

 

[ogre]

Not sure if you are a fan of Science Fiction or not, but there is a book by Orson Scott Card called "Speaker of the Dead". The book is exactly that, that it is best to describe a person's life as it actually was, so that maybe, people with the different perspectives or who were familiar with different facets of a person's life might all better understand who a person was and why they were the way they were.

The book is part of the "Ender" series.

dude, i didn't know you read osc. the ender series is by far the best scifi set i've ever read. couldn't get into speaker of the dead tho.

 

[afterhours]

a good friend of mine had an alchoholic, abusive father. he beat on her and her mother. i saw it, and i hated him from the time i was 6-7 years old, I used to plan how i could surpise him as he came home from work and beat him down.....( i was just a kid)

I don't know if it was sexual. My friend told me she sometimes had to pull him off her younger sister, once at knife point I never asked what she meant by that.

anyway, he always spoiled the brother. he died some years ago......and all of a sudden he is this great man. a total saint and great father. this drove a stake between my friend, her sister....and the rest of the family.

so now, not only did my friend have a bad father.....she has lost her mother and brother because they cannot deal with the truth.

anyway she is like my little sister.....sorry to vent, but sometimes living a lie can hurt more than it helps.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

Momma always said if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all..:shutup:
No I would not say it if i could not mean it ..dead or alive..

I agree!

 

[m_ridgeway]

There's nothing to gain by ruining someones opinion of the deceased. If they're happy believing what they want let them be. To do anything else is selfish of you.
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[Strife]

People lie to themselves regularly. We are brought up for most part to do it. Many don't even realize it. It's a form of acceptance to the world around us.

 

[teamorion22]

a lil odd question to me. I would just keep my mouth shut it I didn't like them

 

[1340]

People lie to themselves regularly. We are brought up for most part to do it. Many don't even realize it. It's a form of acceptance to the world around us.

That's sad but true. Just like when you see an ugly baby in a stroller, you say "how cute" but deep inside you're thinking "man what an ugly kid".

 

[m_ridgeway]

Maybe you should stop worrying about everyone elses worth and live your own life?
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[busa_black]

Momma always said if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all..:shutup:
No I would not say it if i could not mean it ..dead or alive..

I agree. There are some people on God's Earth that I wish didn't exist (rapists, murderers, child molesters, etc.) but it isn't my place or decision.

 

[Dr E]

You never speak ill of the dead as they have no way of defending themselves and it serves no good to anyone. They were someones baby a long time ago and somebody loved them for things you did not see.

Speak kind words for the departed, prayers for the family and pray that you learn something from their actions and decide not to live that life they did...or if that is to hard...say nothing but offer the prayers. We all can use them everyday.

 

[aussiekeeper]

You never speak ill of the dead as they have no way of defending themselves and it serves no good to anyone. They were someones baby a long time ago and somebody loved them for things you did not see.

Speak kind words for the departed, prayers for the family and pray that you learn something from their actions and decide not to live that life they did...or if that is to hard...say nothing but offer the prayers. We all can use them everyday.

Good statement and true. See, that education did good fer ya'.

 

[Fastfrog007]

Not worth the time are arguements that it will cause. If they were a bad person, well their dead now...

 

[AJAY]

Speak kind words for the departed, prayers for the family and pray that you learn something from their actions and decide not to live that life they did...or if that is to hard...say nothing but offer the prayers. We all can use them everyday.

That's pretty good.

There's an old song by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band that has a lyric that goes:

I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they’re no use to the dead.

I quote that because your words are for the living. We no longer have the power to help - or hurt - the dead. So choose your words based on the effect of you'll have on the living. That's what counts, because how you feel about that person, the living person, will guide you to the right thing to say.

 

[J'Man]

You never speak ill of the dead as they have no way of defending themselves and it serves no good to anyone. They were someones baby a long time ago and somebody loved them for things you did not see.

Speak kind words for the departed, prayers for the family and pray that you learn something from their actions and decide not to live that life they did...or if that is to hard...say nothing but offer the prayers. We all can use them everyday.

Yeah, what he said.