Sex in the dark...

BulletTrain

Call me Daddy...
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A joke I just got by e-mail. I needed a good laugh and thought some of you could use one as well. :D

> SEX IN THE DARK
>
> There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
>
> Ever time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the
> light.
>
> Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
>
> She figured she would break him out of his crazy habit.
>
> So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic
> session, she turned on the lights.
>
> She looked down...and saw her husband was holding a
> battery-operated pleasure device...a vibrator!
>
> Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
>
> She went completely ballistic.
>
> "You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him," how could you be lying to me
> after all these years?
>
> You better explain yourself!"
>
> The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly"
>
> "I' ll explain the toy...........you explain the kids."
>
>
>

:bounce:
 
Had a friend send me that one last week. Made my day!
 
Here's one I post a while back.
I just got this on sent to me. Kind of funny mother in law joke.
How Sweet It Is !
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to
no end. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic
and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on
her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the
couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
 
My wife introduced a vibrator into our bedroom, said it would liven things up.

































Don't laugh...
























My ass is killing me!
 
AWESOME!!!!
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Here's one I post a while back.
I just got this on sent to me.  Kind of funny mother in law joke.
How Sweet It Is !
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to
no end. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic
and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered,  put on
her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the
couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
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....
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My wife introduced a vibrator into our bedroom, said it would liven things up.

Don't laugh...

My ass is killing me!
I'm Mike D and I used to get respect.
My wife used a vib, now my butt is wrekt.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Hee Hee!
 
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