Santa Presents

They did get other presents but that was the first one they opened.
 
Back on the subject for a moment.

My oldest son is 14. I told him at the beginning of the school year that he had to maintain a B or better average to get computer game time (of any kind)! I got his report card last week, and it had an B-,A,B-,B,B-,B,C. Not bad, but not up to expectaions. I don't allow a B-, because I see a B- as "Less than B". It's a glorified C in my book. I know he can get strait A's if he just did his home work. He lost his computer because he decided the games were more important to him than school.

He's getting 2 new computer games for Christmas (bought them a few months ago) that he won't be able to play until he brings his grades up to all B's or better. I guess he'll have to wait for mid-terms to see if he makes the cut.
 
Valium... I wish you the best of luck either way. I haven't experienced problems with my kids in quite the same way (4 & 8).

I know spanking never worked, sending them to their room didn't work brilliantly, so we have the naughty step. If they're naughty, they've gotta go and sit on the naughty step until they're released.

We've also got a sticker chart. If they have good behaviour at the dinner table, or getting their pajamas on 1st time they're asked, they'll get a sticker. When they've got x number of stickers they get a trip to the toyshop. Though the chart reuiqres about 40 stickers and we don't get there too often.

Best of luck, I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a preacher or something, just wanted to say whats worked for us.
 
You make good points about children of divorce, and I applaud you for your efforts with and for Brian.  From what I've seen posted by both of you, you seem to have a very good relationship now.
One day I finally appologized for not loving him, I'm sure that helped but maybe giving him a motorcycle is what finally did the trick.
rock.gif
 
Thanks for all the input. I like rewarding for good behavior, and as I said before, the problems are usually associated with me not being in the home. Now, if my better half can remember to keep calm and realize nothing changes overnight, I think half of the battle will be won.

As to some of the other comments, Mom does allow me to discipline the kids, however when it comes to spankings, I don’t care if their my kids or not, that is a touchy subject. Yes the fiancé trusts me, otherwise she wouldn’t be with me, but admittedly I would also have a hard time watching someone else discipline my children. And as I’m sure everyone is aware, Mom's are very protective of their young.

We’ve decided to give the Santa presents, but were also going to write a note, and the presents will get taken away as teaching experience to the kids, if their behavior continues down a negative path. I will pack up the presents, mom & the kids and drive down to the homeless shelter and have the kids hand out the gifts.

Some of the problems I see with kids these days (In general) is they don’t realize how good they have it. If you haven’t had to go without shelter, 3 meals a day, and a loving parent(s), it’s hard to rationalize just how bad things can be. Heck a lot of adults don’t realize this, little lone a 4 and 6 yea old child. Yes, maybe it is the fault of the mother for the way the kids are, and not to make excuses for mom, but it is very difficult to make ends-meat in this society, raise 2 kids in a proper manner, and do all the other things life brings our way. I give her mucho credit for keeping her head above water and not becoming another welfare case. Could things be better, sure I admit, but things could also be much worse. Is there concern for the upbringing of these kids, well obviously – we’re not monster’s; in fact both her and I feel a great debt to society both personal and professional. Unfortunately these kids have had a rough start, lots of insecurity, and some rough times, however a lack of love is something these kids have not had to go without. I believe the whole family needs religious or professional counseling, and will make a point of it, and to see to it.

I wish the kids had an upbringing like I had, but the whole Ideal family situation is not always a reality in today’s society. Obviously Mom and I want the best for these kids. And true, these kids could turn out to be a menace to society, but than again, they may not. We can love these kids, and do the best we can honestly do for them and it’s up to them to decide the course of their lives - long term, albeit I confirm that proper values and morals should be taught by the parents.

As far as parenting styles are concerned, I’ve never raised kids before. I do the best I can at implement a positive and nurturing attitude at all times. And sometimes it takes time for two people to come together in a situation like ours, and come to an agreement, and stick with that agreement. Change is not easy for anyone, but for the sake of the kids, mom is trying and I’m supporting her, and at this point little steps are better than no steps at all.



<!--EDIT|valium
Reason for Edit: None given...|1135379213 -->
 
Back
Top