Retired people are funny





moeluv

Registered
Sorry for the long post got these today and had to share.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their day interesting.  Well here are two examples:

The other day i went to town and went into a shop i was only in there for about 5 minutes, when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.  I went up to him and said,"Come on man, how about giving a citizen a break?"  He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a boogerface turd.  He glared at me and started writing another, ticket for having worn tires.

So i called him a S---head.  He finished the second ticket and put it on the windsheild with the first.  Then he started writing a third ticket.  This went on for about 20 minutes.  

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care.  I came into town by bus. I try to have a little fun each day now that i'm retired.  It's important at my age.


Second example:
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.  Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 MPH, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rearview mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights falshing and siren blaring.  "I can get away from him - no problem!"  Thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 100 MPH, then 110, then 120 MPH.

Sudenly, he thought, "What on earth am i doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!", pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.  Today is Friday.  If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing here back."

"Have a good day, Sir,"  said the Trooper.



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BiG-T

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I heard the 2nd one before but the first one caused a loud burst of laughter during class. Thanks....I was falling asleep!
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MC MUSTANG

Peace Keeper or Ban Hammer-it's up to you; IDMBT#9
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Someone is gonna hafta clean the soda off of my keyboard!

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Yellow09

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….not bad a 13 yr old thread...a thread that shouldn't have gone cold IMO.
I can relate, that was/is pretty much me.

I have many serving members living in my neighbourhood and they always tell me they can't wait until they are retired as I make it look so much fun...especially when I pull out the Busa on a sunny day when they are going off to work.

Sometimes they will tell me of their woes dealing with the new generation-I always use this line "excuse me, but you really don't realise how little I give a rat's arse." That makes them laugh each and every time and they tell me they look forward to the day when they can use that line.
 

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