Cleaning out the hard drive... so as I come across some more of the funnier stuff, I'll post it.
CLASSIC VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his
comfortable home with table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green
Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and takes
the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of
greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Bill and Hillary
Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell
a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the
grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who
benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's." Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act". Retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3
M when there
are no talk shows scheduled.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to
maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV,
which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing
Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats
announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.
>> > --Author Unknown
CLASSIC VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his
comfortable home with table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green
Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and takes
the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of
greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Bill and Hillary
Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell
a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the
grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who
benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's." Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act". Retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3
M when thereare no talk shows scheduled.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to
maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV,
which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing
Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats
announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.
>> > --Author Unknown
