Oklahoma Love - "Every Sperm Is Sacred"

[Warchild]

Youse Oklahoma guys sure have some humorous state legislators!

Wonder how Oklahoma going to enforce the ban on Onanism?

In an attempt to take a stand against Republican bill that would ban abortions in Oklahoma, State Senator Constance Johnson is trying to make “pulling out†illegal.

“Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child,†Johnson stated in a handwritten amendment to Oklahoma senate bill 1433.

Her satirical proposal came as a response to a real draft-law sponsored by conservative legislators.

The bill which is being dubbed the “Personhood†bill states that life begins at conception and declares that "unborn children have protectable interest in life, health and well-being."

She admits that her proposal is meant to “draw humorous attention to the hypocrisy and inconsistency.†“My amendment seeks to draw attention to the absurdity, duplicity and lack of balance inherent in the policies of this state in regard to women,†Johnson affirmed.

Johnson isn’t alone in the matter.

“From the Republican perspective of down-sized government and less government intrusion into people’s private affairs…it is far more important that we address issues such as affordable healthcare to help improve our state’s ranking of 48th in health status; to create good, secure jobs that grow our economy; and ensure that all citizens have access to quality, affordable education,†Johnson acknowledged.

If the amendment were to somehow pass without stiff opposition, many would be left wondering how the state government would enforce the new bill. Would the state of Oklahoma send a law enforcement agent to make sure you aren’t “spilling your seed?â€

".... without stiff opposition"....

Jeeze, even y'alls newspaper writers are comedians!

 

[captain]

(Chest out proudly) drops head and kicks rocks down street.....

 

[jphilipson]

This will have a huge impact on the Oklahoma porn industry.

 

[chrisjp]

Oh brother lol

 

[Warchild]

(Chest out proudly) drops head and kicks rocks down street.....

 

[lil charlie]

hahahahahahahahahahaha nice

 

[Mr Brown]

Sadly typical of the way our government is now.
This woman felt the need to spend work time drafting such a ridiculous bill due to the ridiculous bill the opposition are trying to pass. Surely there are better things for elected officials to do with tax-payers time....

 

[Sous]

What a joke, just get rid of the entire lot of politicians at every level and start fresh. Yes, I am saying "pull out" of the situation we are in, and start over.

 

[kml]

Wow, If that bill passes Oklahoma Kleenex sales will be way way down.

cheers ken

 

[kml]

P.s. What are you doing on RT news website Warchild? Pretty soon you will be posting links to the Guardian.

 

[Busa1166]

Is there any way that we can put a trap door in the office of our state officials. We put a internet live feed camera in all of their offices where they work for everyone in the state to watch. Then when they get these brainstorms we can do instant vote on it, hit the switch when it's something stupid and it drops the official into a giant wood chipper.

 

[Fastfrog007]

Do we get reduced sentences for turning ourselves in? I'm a mass murderer. :/

Smellphone via Forum Runner

 

[Tufbusa]

I understand that "Andrew Dice Clay" actually wrote the bill. Constance Johnson then removed all the four letter words before introducing it to the Senate Floor!

 

[kml]

Do we get reduced sentences for turning ourselves in? I'm a mass murderer. :/

Smellphone via Forum Runner

Too funny!!!!

 

[Shaggy]

Does this mean a womans unfertilized egg is protected also? I guess all women break the law once a month.

 

[Warchild]

Do we get reduced sentences for turning ourselves in? I'm a mass murderer. :/

After this bill gets stopped/vetoed, the Righteous Republican majority within of the Oklahoma General Assembly will introduced tough new legislation with a new legal definition:

"Life begins at foreplay"

 

[aussiesuzukirider]

What's the charge if you use a condom

 

[Mr Brown]

What's the charge if you use a condom

Strangulation....

 

[TWT racer]

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME THIS WOMAN IS NOT FOR REAL ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know.... once in a while you see politicians make dumb comments, attempts of STUPID stuff, and just plain INSULT humanity with their utmost outrageously DUMB brain farts. You tell yourself at times "ok, no one can get worst then this one" and I've said it
But.... I stand corrected !!

 

[Warchild]

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME THIS WOMAN IS NOT FOR REAL ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, breath..... breeeeeeeathe....!

Perhaps you didn't read the article.

The female legislator is engaging in satire. Here is the germane statement:

She admits that her proposal is meant to “draw humorous attention to the hypocrisy and inconsistency.â€￾ “My amendment seeks to draw attention to the absurdity, duplicity and lack of balance inherent in the policies of this state in regard to women,â€￾ Johnson affirmed.

Ergo, she is not offering the amendment with any expectation of success, rather, she is pointing out the irony that a bunch of men sat around and created a horsecock law to inflict their dogma onto women.

The actual intent of the bill is to attempt to assign "personhood" status to a bunch of zygote cells floating in a membrane sac. If successful, they will then say that since this membrane sac is a "person", then abortion would be "murder of this person", and thus should be illegal.