Not This Sunday but..next sunday?...

JINKSTER

JINKSTER

I Love my Wife!
Donating Member
Registered
I get to pick up my green 60 day keytag from NA...60 days Clean & Sober! :cheerleader:

Lotsa changes goin on inside and outside of me..such as..

1. Not only does my wife speak to me again but..she actually mumbled that she loves me as i kissed her goodbye headin out to work the other morning.

2. I caught my daughters actually listening intently to me as i told a story at the dinner table the other night...and that hasn't happened in quite a few years.

3. One of my closest "Runnin Buds" (who initially gave me a real hard time about me cleaning up) was walking by at work the other day and i rehtorically asked "Hows it goin Bud?"...not really expecting an answer back...but he stopped and told me..."I havent had any oxy in 3 days and i have none at home"..i giggled from the shock and inquired "What brought that on?"...and he said...

"You....your rubbin off on me and showed us it could be done and its easy to see your doing much better these days...your lookin much better..ya got some color in what used to be an ashed out face and new life in what used to look like the eyes of a man whose soul had died long, long ago."

4. I used to measure a man by how much of a hard partying badazz he appeared to be...now i look up to and aspire to those who exhibit the most inner peace and spritual serenity.

5. I actually want to live again. :cheerleader:

Thank you God...Thank you all and much love, L8R, Bill. :cool:
 
:cry:
:cheerleader:

Bill I'm so happy for you .
I told you your family would come around if you did .
Makes me full of joy for you to hear you say your wife said she loves you.
Now tell me after she said that how did it make you feel ?
A high like no other , eh ?
 
Blanca Busa said:
:cry:
:cheerleader:

Bill I'm so happy for you .
I told you your family would come around if you did .
Makes me full of joy for you to hear you say your wife said she loves you.
Now tell me after she said that how did it make you feel ?
A high like no other , eh ?
Click to expand...

well?...it aint all that yet but...it might get there. :laugh:
 
teddypenn said:
congrats to you man. stay focused on what matters most to you and keep your chin up.
Click to expand...

doin just that..this 90 meetings in 90 days is wearin my old azz out though..but?..i am gonna ride Oren up to a mens step meeting in vero beach tonight so...all these meetings do give me good reason to ride...straight. :laugh:

kinda weird though...cause now that i'm clearin up in the mind?..

i'm noticing...

Oren Ishii is freakin SCARY fast! ???

Never paid her quickness much mind when...well...you know..(i was always real relaxed)..but now that i wanna live again?..i dont wanna die..and i seem to be gettin a bad case of the chickenshids all over again! :laugh:
 
Last edited:
JINKSTER said:
well?...it aint all that yet but...it might get there. :laugh:
Click to expand...


Read one of you threads from sixty day ago and I think you'll see how much of a diff there is between then and now !
You've come , I would say at least 270 degrees :)
Almost turned it all the way around .
 
Blanca Busa said:
Read one of you threads from sixty day ago and I think you'll see how much of a diff there is between then and now !
You've come , I would say at least 270 degrees :)
Almost turned it all the way around .
Click to expand...

and i'm still wearing the cross you gave me..

everyday...

ever since the day you put it in my hand. :thumbsup:

and for that?..I thank you my friend. :beerchug:

whoops...wrong smilie...here... :bowdown: :thumbsup:

ahhh...that's better. :laugh:
 
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. (Psalm 138:3)

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
 
:cheerleader:

"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor."

-Thoreau
 
Jinks, few men or women would bare there soul's inner workings the way u have...Whether u think this is just banal flattery on my part...I'm proud of you for stopping this long slide into hell...you will have to fight the demons as long as you live...there is an old Sanskrit saying that goes something like,"the path of least resistence leads to crooked rivers and crooked men." You know the main thing of importance even above your relationship with God, wife, or kids is the relationship you have with yourself. If you can make it right for yourself and grow confident in your abilities to withstand Satan's fiery darts then you will grow in your trust of yourself...and then your wife's trust will return...your health will get better...the main thing is the trend..you might have little abberations here and there ...don't beat yourself up or little blimishes...but never ever ever allow yourself to touch the drugs/alcohol again...believe me, there are so many people on this .org that are pulling for you...feel free to ping me if you ever need to talk...I will be happy to do what I can to help you through...and i would bet there are many of us on the .org who would do the same...proud of you man...
 
2hip said:
Jinks, few men or women would bare there soul's inner workings the way u have...Whether u think this is just banal flattery on my part...I'm proud of you for stopping this long slide into hell...you will have to fight the demons as long as you live...there is an old Sanskrit saying that goes something like,"the path of least resistence leads to crooked rivers and crooked men." You know the main thing of importance even above your relationship with God, wife, or kids is the relationship you have with yourself. If you can make it right for yourself and grow confident in your abilities to withstand Satan's fiery darts then you will grow in your trust of yourself...and then your wife's trust will return...your health will get better...the main thing is the trend..you might have little abberations here and there ...don't beat yourself up or little blimishes...but never ever ever allow yourself to touch the drugs/alcohol again...believe me, there are so many people on this .org that are pulling for you...feel free to ping me if you ever need to talk...I will be happy to do what I can to help you through...and i would bet there are many of us on the .org who would do the same...proud of you man...
Click to expand...

Thanks 2Hip..and you truely are as your board name states. :thumbsup: :bowdown:

Ya know..looking back?..this disease has been screwing with my life ever since i was a young teen..at 14 i was rushed to the hospitol after washing down 2 femabarbs w/ 2 bottles of annie green springs...at 16?..i was bakers acted resulting in a mexican standoff with the local SD with a 12ga. pump and a pocket full of ludes..then spent 4 days and 3 nights alone in a cell cause it was a fri/weekend...the judge couldnt see me till late monday..there was no juvy hall back then and?..minors werent allowed to mix with gen pop..then at 18?..i was pulled out of the SD's drunk tank and taken to Pheonix House Detox for rehab..and evidently?..it didnt take..cause at 19?..my girlfriend was raped and beaten by some of my much older drug dealin buds and i turned states evidence to "Get Back" then ended up in the only witness protection program known to man back then..The U.S.M.C.....and actually turned out to be the best thing that happened to me since i hit puberty! :laugh:

Until of course my disease acted up again and had me in several brushes with these new laws i had to abide by call the "U.C.M.J."...can you say "Brig Time"? :banghead:

By 26 years old?..post USMC?..the same coke i used to build a minor personal empire with took it all from me as i rapidly became my own best customer..and i finally hit my 1st hard bottom...suicidal...called my parents to say my final goodbyes..they asked me if i've finally had enough of myself..then?..told me there was help available..bought me a plane ticket and put me through 2 months inhouse rehab..and i went 16+ years C&S..went back to school..built a home...got married..had 3 daughters and got so pre-occupied with life that i drifted away from the 12 step program that had saved my azz years ago...and picked up again at 42. :banghead:

I'm 52 now...coming up on 60 days clean again...my mothers always said that God is saving me for something special...and i'm feeling a calling these days...i'm tired of working in machine shops full of hard partying badazzs..and just in the past few days?..i've experienced a heavy duty spiritual awakening...a moment of clarity..a calling..maybe a pipedream but...i'm calling it "A Goal"...and in the next few years?..i would like to..

1. Go back to school.

2. Obtain whatever licensing is required to become a "Drug/Alcohol Abuse Councelor"

and?..

3. Open up a 1/2 Way House.

to help other addicts find their way out of the same he11 i spent about 1/2 my life in..cause?..i truely believe that "THAT" is the special thing my mother spoke of that God saved me from myself for...and now i'm like...

May thy will...and not my will...be done. :please:

Thanks again ALL and?...L8R, Bill. :cool:
 
Do whatever your heart leads you to do Jinkster. We get one shot at this life on earth and need to make the best of it. Congrats on getting off the stuff and getting things back in order. :thumbsup:
 
Good job on sticking with your plan and it is cool that you are aware of those around you seeing you in a different way.
 
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