Newfie pick up truck

[Bumblebee]

A Newfie was sitting at the bar and in comes a rancher from Texas.

The rancher notices the Newfie and says "howdy son, where are you all from?"
The Newfie says "Newfoundland Canada"
The Texan says "Y'all got any land up there?"
The Newfie says "yep, a couple acres-you?"
The Rancher says "Well, see that truck? if you get in that pick up truck and drive for 3 days, you won't cross all my land"
The Newfie says "too bad your truck's broke, I had a pick up truck like that once..."

 

[Bumblebee]

Two Newfies were out duck hunting all day with nothing to show, finally one turned to the other and said, "this sucks, what are we doing wrong?"

The other replied, "maybe we aren't throwing the dog high enough"

 

[Mathewrussell52]

Two Newfies were out duck hunting all day with nothing to show, finally one turned to the other and said, "this sucks, what are we doing wrong?"

The other replied, "maybe we aren't throwing the dog high enough"

Only Newfie I know and she’s lazy.

 

[GAmedic]

I've seen a Newfypoo once.

Was disturbing.

 

[Sandow]

A newfie rolls into his factory job at 10:30. The floor manager comes up to him and sayd, "You should have been here at nine o'clock," to which the newfie responds "Why, what happened?"

 

[Bumblebee]

Two guys sitting in an empty store and one says to the other "I bet you $100.00 someone is going to come in here and ask what we are selling and it's going to be a Newfie" Buddy says "you're on"

He didn't get the words out of his mouth and there's a guy with his face pressed up against the window....

He walks in and says "nice store. what do you sell?"

One guys winks at the other and says "arseholes"

The Newfie looks at him and says "arseholes aye?, you must be doing pretty good 'cause there's only two of you left...!"

 

[Sandow]

A newfie named Clyde died in a fire and was burnt so badly that the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Clem and Zeke, came to do the job. Clem went in first and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem took one look and said, "Nope, ain't Clyde."
Just to be safe the mortician brought in Zeke and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked down and said "No, it ain't Clyde." The mortician asked "How can you tell? Zeke said "Well, Clyde had two arseholes." "What? He had two arseholes?" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say 'Here comes Clyde with them two arseholes.' "