Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
"Luke, Chuck Norris is your father"
If Superman and the Flash were to race to the egde of space you know who would win: Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not live life on the edge; life lives on the edge of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once took part in a Civil War reenactment. It was the bloodiest day in American history.
Chuck Norris created the hole in the ozone layer, "to get a better look at the sun."
Johnny Cash once shot a man in Reno just to see him die. Chuck Norris once nuked the city of Reno just to toast his Pop-Tart.
Chuck Norris individually routes Internet traffic on paper.
When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
After eating a series of spoiled cabbage, Chuck Norris shat a turd with magical abilities. He named it Yoda and roundhouse kicked it to a galaxy far, far away.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a single-celled organism for not having the mental capcity to understand his greatness. He inadvertantly created evolution.
Chuck Norris saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by swithing to Geico. But, feeling he could press his luck, he roundhouse kicked the insurance company to the face. He doesn't pay car insurance anymore.
Chuck Norris is no longer a noun, it is a verb.
Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Chuck Norris sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good or be prepared to have your face demolished by a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his grandmother in the mouth on Christmas morning. Socks again.
Chuck Norris caddied for the Dalai Lama once. Instead of giving him money, the Lama offered Chuck the ability to receieve total conciousness on his death bed. Clearly upset by this offer, Chuck roundhouse kicked him off a 10,000 ft crevasse.
Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the heck Chuck Norris is.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was advised by a guru that he would attain eternal happiness if he went 7 years without breaking necks. Chuck Norris snapped the guru's neck like a twig.
There once was a man from Nantucket. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the crap out of him for living in a place with such a stupid name.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
"Luke, Chuck Norris is your father"
If Superman and the Flash were to race to the egde of space you know who would win: Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not live life on the edge; life lives on the edge of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once took part in a Civil War reenactment. It was the bloodiest day in American history.
Chuck Norris created the hole in the ozone layer, "to get a better look at the sun."
Johnny Cash once shot a man in Reno just to see him die. Chuck Norris once nuked the city of Reno just to toast his Pop-Tart.
Chuck Norris individually routes Internet traffic on paper.
When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
After eating a series of spoiled cabbage, Chuck Norris shat a turd with magical abilities. He named it Yoda and roundhouse kicked it to a galaxy far, far away.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a single-celled organism for not having the mental capcity to understand his greatness. He inadvertantly created evolution.
Chuck Norris saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by swithing to Geico. But, feeling he could press his luck, he roundhouse kicked the insurance company to the face. He doesn't pay car insurance anymore.
Chuck Norris is no longer a noun, it is a verb.
Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Chuck Norris sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good or be prepared to have your face demolished by a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his grandmother in the mouth on Christmas morning. Socks again.
Chuck Norris caddied for the Dalai Lama once. Instead of giving him money, the Lama offered Chuck the ability to receieve total conciousness on his death bed. Clearly upset by this offer, Chuck roundhouse kicked him off a 10,000 ft crevasse.
Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the heck Chuck Norris is.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was advised by a guru that he would attain eternal happiness if he went 7 years without breaking necks. Chuck Norris snapped the guru's neck like a twig.
There once was a man from Nantucket. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the crap out of him for living in a place with such a stupid name.
