Ahhhhh, a subject near and dear to most everyone I know.........sadly, men are nailed to the wall by the system, usually because for some silly reason there are those that think women should raise the kids the majority of the time and that we (women) can't take care of ourselves, so of course you guys have to foot the bill while we become the martyrs we will tell our children and friends we are since the marriage didn't work out, we're raising these kids alone, you're such a schmuck...
Thankfully I was raised by my Dad, and by him alone starting at the age of 11 or 12. He raised 2 daughters, alone. I grew up seeing the system in a very different way, that moms sometimes don't make the best decisions and don't deserve the credit or the money, and that a single Dad can and will make every sacrifice for his daughters. I know this much, when my marriage failed, I wanted nothing from my ex except for him to be a good Dad to our sons, and to be able to afford to exist just as I wanted to be able to afford to exist. I didn't want him to pay my way, or give me child support, nor did I want to pay him. I also didn't want my kids to think that seeing Dad every Wednesday and every other weekend was a normal thing. We were fortunate enough to live minutes from each other and our kids adjusted as well as expected to being in 2 homes, mine one week, his the next. We also never exchanged money. I work, he works, we care for our kids, apart, since the moment we split up.
Here's the big problem, IMHO, and there are moms out there that will fight me on this, but I say to them you can't have it both ways - you can't be an independent woman AND hold your hand out, especially if your marriage fails. If you weren't working during the marriage and things go south, guess what sweetheart, go get a job. Life is changing for everyone in the home, yours included mom. I have always worked, and always will unless there's a winning lottery ticket out there with my name on it. Parents need to understand that kids need to see raising kids is NOT a handout from one parent, it's a joint effort, especially if you two split up. It's not on Dad's back to financially back everything while Mom maintains the lifestyle she's accustomed to because that's what she always did...sorry, join the real world and how about you step up and show your children responsibility.
Oh I could write a book on what I've seen moms do to avoid just growing up and accepting that your free ride is over, and to the men that opted to marry in to that to begin with? I'll never get it. I tell my sons and step-son today, DO NOT marry a woman that says she wants to stay at home and raise the kids. Sorry - nowadays, it takes TWO, don't ever forget that....