Lost my best friend

Zewski

Zewski

Registered
So I lost my best friend in November, November 2nd to be exact, and I am still strugling with it. Not in denial, just can't seem to wrap my head around it. I still expect to get a text that is completely offensive, or a phone call about getting together to go to the boobie bars. Anybody got any real advice for dealing with it. He was 29, healthy as a horse! If you are into powerlifting you probably knew the name....Nick Winters... argueable the world's strongest natural bench presser (no juice, no shirt), and would have been one of the world's strongest dead lifters. I can't make sense of it. I never had a brother, I had Nick, and I feel like I lost a brother. Just hoping that someone has some advice... cause it is killing me inside.

Don't want to be a "Debbie Downer," just finding smiling hard these days.
 
If you didn't hurt over it, I'd think something was wrong with you. Losing someone is always hard. If you can, instead of the loss, rejoice in the memories and times you did have; that's what you'd want if the situation were reversed, correct?

Get some sunlight (helps moods); it will take time (as it should). Best of luck.
 
I KNOW your pain. I lost my best friend in May. He was only 28. He was my nephew, but my best friend as well. I still think about him daily, and even shed a few tears. I, much like you, still expect him to call or text me something funny. I will not delete his number from my phone, even though I know it does me no good. I really can't help you find a way to really deal with it, as I am still struggling myself. I can say that it does get a LITTLE easier as time goes on, but you will never get over it completely. He touched your life in a speacial way, and there is no way to forget or over look that! Just pray, pray, and pray some more. God will help in his own way.
If you need to talk to someone, just hit me up!! Like I said, I KNOW what you are going through!!
Brian
 
lost a best friend at 24 because of a drunk driver. It will never leave you but you can replace it with thoughts of good times. Thats what i did, makes me smile.
 
it definately takes time my friend. losing my father, grandfather, aunt within a 3 month stretch hit home for me. it def helps to talk about it and not keep it in. every once in a while i'll still picture my father yelling at me "slow that damn death machine down" aka the busa. yeah the whole "smiling" thing took a while for me to get back to norm and every once in a while i'll shed a tear or too, but it gets better with time.
 
Lost my Brother-in-law and best friend almost 6 years ago. He was 31 years old. He was out with me riding my wifes bike and crashed. Died instantly on the scene (for that I'm thankful) I still think of him every day, and usually tear up when I spend time with his now 9 year old son (my Nephew) realizing what both of them missed out on. It never gets easier, just holding on until the day I see him again in Heaven.
Sorry for your loss.

What helps me is to ride up to his grave and "hang out" with him a few times a year. Its usually my first ride of the season.
 
Thanks guys! He was THAT guy, the one that you brag about to all you friends that don't know him. Strong, caring, just a great person! When we were in college we worked out togehter EVERY day at 4pm. There was no reson for exception in his eyes, not even a hot girl that wanted some alone time with you. Workouts came first. He always used to head to the trainers room to weigh himself, and he would tell me to go in and grab a bench (or whatever we were working that day). I'n my mind I just keep thinking when I get there with him he will be waiting at a bench, complaining that I am late.
 
Yeah, I lost my best friend, my dad 2 years ago today and I'm having a very bad day...

It takes time, yes I have great memories, had him in my life for a long time, and it still hurts. Bad day....
 
All good advice. A loss like that requires an on going effort to deal with it. For now i'm sure things are still too fresh to wrap your head around your loss. If there is any way possible try to find something to look forward to, a trip, flying lessons, an adventure if you will.
 
After college, i graduated, got a job and bought a house, he stayed in school and got anotehr degree. After he graduated he persued his carrer in powerlifting and training professionally. He became this very well known name in the power lifting world and I missed his success. He always wanted me to travel with him to his meets and expos. I could never make it. When he would lift at the Arnold, or the Olympia in the cage, I missed it. I was so proud of him! I just never got to tell him, I always though I had more time! Just thought I had more time.
 
Time is the only way to get over this hill, When I lost my grand mother on July 7 2009, I could not wrap my mind around it, I still sometimes think I'm gonna go over to her house and open the door and see her at the kitchen table reading a book.
 
You will have time, just have faith...
He can hear you now talking his praise anyway. You were proud of him in his life, now make him proud of you in yours. Take it as a reason to make your own life better. That's what I tried to do. Its hard, but life is hard, right? There are others feeling your same pain and we all hold strong in the darkest moments. Don't do it for yourself, do it for someone else. I know you aren't looking for sympathy at all, but I do feel horrible for your loss. I know what its like first hand and just know that friends will help you through, and you can vent to us all you want! :beerchug:
 
I lost one of my best friends 10 years ago this year. He was with the wrong crowd and got shot. My faith in God got me through. Regardless of what you belive man, time heals all. Everyone needs a certain amount of time to mourn. Anyone as good as you describe him would want you to move forward in life...in time. Remember the good, and let go of all the hurt now, don't bottle it up!!! A real man Does cry during tough times like these, and there's no shame in any of it. Most of us know where you're coming from and are happy to pass along a little support. Chin up, in time all you will remember will be the good!:beerchug:
 
I lost my best friend 5 years ago. We had known each other for 30 years. For 20 of them years we saw each other everyday. He lived right across the street. He had a gun fall out of his pocket and shot him threw the heart and he was only 45. I still miss him and always will. I often think of all the good times we had together and that does help. Someone new can never take their place but they can fill the space that is empty in your life. Time will help heal you buy it will never let you forget the best friend you had. I wish you the best.
 
Im not very good at dealing with losing family and friends, or consoling others about it, so i will just stick with this.....embrace what you admired about that person and take a little bit of it for yourself to bless others with, that way they live on :thumbsup:
 
Zewski said:
Thanks a lot guys! It just feels good to talk about it.
Click to expand...

I was so upset I could not even go to the funeral. I did not want to remember him like that. Remember we are always here if you need us.
 
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