Lifestyle of Impossibilities
- Thread starter Projekt
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TruWrecks
Banned
I know there are people ou there is worse shape, but I know my life currently isn't too hot.
The bad: This year I lost my family to a divorce. I need to sell my house. I lost a Corvette and FJR because of the divorce. The Ex hasn't done a damn thing to help sell the house. She wont let me see the boys I helped her raise for 8 years. When I do see them it's because she wants a free baby sitter. My health hasn't been the best over the last couple of months. I hate my job but it pays well.
The good: I have my dogs and my motorcycles that I bought after the divorce. My parents are still alive. I have a few family members that care. I have H.org and a few other friends that ride. The teams I work with are good people.
I don't care what anyone says, it is NOT better to have loved and lost, than have never loved at all! Losing a lover for any reason is almost unbearable. If I still drank I would do it to excess every day.
The bad: This year I lost my family to a divorce. I need to sell my house. I lost a Corvette and FJR because of the divorce. The Ex hasn't done a damn thing to help sell the house. She wont let me see the boys I helped her raise for 8 years. When I do see them it's because she wants a free baby sitter. My health hasn't been the best over the last couple of months. I hate my job but it pays well.
The good: I have my dogs and my motorcycles that I bought after the divorce. My parents are still alive. I have a few family members that care. I have H.org and a few other friends that ride. The teams I work with are good people.
I don't care what anyone says, it is NOT better to have loved and lost, than have never loved at all! Losing a lover for any reason is almost unbearable. If I still drank I would do it to excess every day.
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I feel your pain. You may find a happiness better than what you had as a family. Your boys don't deserve that sort of family politicking even though I don't know the whole story.
Take your time on the issues affecting you post divorce. The house will sell eventually, only devote as much energy as your ex-wife contributes to the object. However, the sooner it gets done, the sooner the clouds will part to allow the sunshine back onto your life.
Surely there are a few hobbies or interests that you may want to pursue now that you have excess time to do so.
what about the aim, the goal, the measure of "success" being invalid in the first place? aiming for the WORLD'S idea of success is precisely the thing that leads to the most internal misery. Money and things are not a good measure but seem to be the standard measure.
When people use THAT measure to know when to feel good about themselves, they are left too open to their castles begin toppled. Example, let's say, owning a motorcycle. if you defined owning a Hayabusa, because it was better than anything else on the block, I'll say you have a complex. To a small degree, that competition is built into all of us, but that doesn't mean it is right. When is "RIGHT" defined as "beating another man down on purpose"? But if you like what the Hayabusa does, is, looks, and just enjoy it WITHOUT trying to BEAT someone else or prove your superiority, than your measure might be healthier.
How's that relate to Project's very poignant perspective? if your measure is invalid [IE one that leads to misery more than not] your knowing whether you have achieved PERSONAL success and satisfaction of your life, could always be a moving target.
When people use THAT measure to know when to feel good about themselves, they are left too open to their castles begin toppled. Example, let's say, owning a motorcycle. if you defined owning a Hayabusa, because it was better than anything else on the block, I'll say you have a complex. To a small degree, that competition is built into all of us, but that doesn't mean it is right. When is "RIGHT" defined as "beating another man down on purpose"? But if you like what the Hayabusa does, is, looks, and just enjoy it WITHOUT trying to BEAT someone else or prove your superiority, than your measure might be healthier.
How's that relate to Project's very poignant perspective? if your measure is invalid [IE one that leads to misery more than not] your knowing whether you have achieved PERSONAL success and satisfaction of your life, could always be a moving target.
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The idea behind this issue is whether the individual sees a defect in his or her upbringing. The defect being something to them that is lacking, rather detracting from one's definition of success.
If my idea of success is to live a different standard that just happens to be more capitalistic, so be it.
If the success involves an alternative standard of living relating to emotional adjustment or anger management, so be it.
It could be that you were raised within an ignorant social or philosophical parameter and you want to educate yourself to overcome those perceived shortcomings.
This measure of success is not limited to financial accomplishments. Instead, it has to do with overcoming impossibilities in your scope of desires.
Could be that you have been obese since childhood and want to stop living that way but have been living a mentality of self-defeat. The opposite being that you have been wiry and slim to a "grotesque" level and want to make a change to increase your muscle mass.
The goals are undefined aside from your understanding/believing them to be impossible.
If my idea of success is to live a different standard that just happens to be more capitalistic, so be it.
If the success involves an alternative standard of living relating to emotional adjustment or anger management, so be it.
It could be that you were raised within an ignorant social or philosophical parameter and you want to educate yourself to overcome those perceived shortcomings.
This measure of success is not limited to financial accomplishments. Instead, it has to do with overcoming impossibilities in your scope of desires.
Could be that you have been obese since childhood and want to stop living that way but have been living a mentality of self-defeat. The opposite being that you have been wiry and slim to a "grotesque" level and want to make a change to increase your muscle mass.
The goals are undefined aside from your understanding/believing them to be impossible.
I like my job sometimes, other times I don't. It pays well and is very easy. I have everything I need and most of what I want. Though I can always think of something else I want that I don't need. I suck at saving money. Material possessions make me happy, I like being "Mr. Jones". Though that has just manifested itself in the past couple years. Buying things makes me feel better. I am desperate need of a girl friend. I have a house of my own, but I am a slob most of the time. All my family (mom, dad, brother, grand parents, dogs) live in GA. I live in SC alone. I get a lot of anxiety and I fear my health is starting to suffer because of it. I would say im moderately happy with my life. But I used to be much more upbeat.
My life is going well. I have a wife and daughter that I love to spend time with. I have a good job, but this economy makes me nervous everyday. I have the perfect car and bike for my likes. There really isn't anything else that I want at the moment. If I had more money, I would want more things. I have learned to live with what I have and not worry about what I don't need. Sometimes I do get the feeling that I am letting life pass me by, but I never feel like I failed at it.
Everything happens for a reason...
I spent 8 years in a career field that I thought I would LOVE becasue I was good at it.. but realized I was miserable. Hurricane Katrina came along and I had the opportunity to change careers. I started teaching... and as bad as OTHERS think it is.... it has its ups and downs... but everyday I know I've made a difference in this world.
Marriage... I was on a quick spiral to a drug habit when a wonderful person walked into my life. I resisted and wanted to return to my FUN life.... then I realized I didn't need it.... there are still times I pout and want to return to my old life... but I realize how LUCKY I am to have him. (the grass is NOT greener on the other side)
Am I happy? No... I never WILL be.. I am a procrastinating perfectionist... it's a battle of ying and yang in my head. I want to have everything everyone else has but will put off doing the work to get it. I get spurts where I work really hard... then stop... backsliding I call it. I am jealous, envious, and too hard on myself.... but I keep waking up every morning with the best of INTENTIONS.... Now I need to ACT on them.... wish me luck.
I spent 8 years in a career field that I thought I would LOVE becasue I was good at it.. but realized I was miserable. Hurricane Katrina came along and I had the opportunity to change careers. I started teaching... and as bad as OTHERS think it is.... it has its ups and downs... but everyday I know I've made a difference in this world.
Marriage... I was on a quick spiral to a drug habit when a wonderful person walked into my life. I resisted and wanted to return to my FUN life.... then I realized I didn't need it.... there are still times I pout and want to return to my old life... but I realize how LUCKY I am to have him. (the grass is NOT greener on the other side)
Am I happy? No... I never WILL be.. I am a procrastinating perfectionist... it's a battle of ying and yang in my head. I want to have everything everyone else has but will put off doing the work to get it. I get spurts where I work really hard... then stop... backsliding I call it. I am jealous, envious, and too hard on myself.... but I keep waking up every morning with the best of INTENTIONS.... Now I need to ACT on them.... wish me luck.
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