In regard to the ones thinking about vasectomy

Blanca BusaLess

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There is no way I could ever do without him!



Many many yrs I felt same. 'Oh I don't want to get married, would never have kids, kids suck....blablabla.'

Then my life changed when the Dr took him out and placed him in my arms.
It is a feeling I wish you all could experience and not miss out on.

The Blanca Busa bloodline lives on in him...
 
yea, part of me has doubts trust me but im a realist and its just not in the cards for me. I have yet to meet anyone who says they "regret" having their kid or kids but when ur married and have a loving wife and a real home atmosphere its easier to enjoy the thought of kids. absent those two and I have ZERO interest in it.

again, im a realist and my profession have a 75% divorce rate and im just not interested in being a weekend daddy and statistically that is what would happen. its not an absolute but likely.

and I think you have to have a fundamental desire to have children at some point in ur life. personally, I have never felt that desire even when I was younger and even less as I have grown older.

when I see people with screaming whining kids at the mall, restaurants, airplanes, etc..... I say "thank god that isnt me". I do hear often that when they are YOUR kids you are not as annoyed by them when they are acting up. and the cost is outrageous! its something like $500k when you include college. for many thats an acceptable price to pay for what you get but not when its something you never really wanted in the first place.

but, things could always change I guess which is why I have struggled with doing this for many years. I guess im more of an animal lover then people lover.
 
yea, part of me has doubts trust me but im a realist and its just not in the cards for me. I have yet to meet anyone who says they "regret" having their kid or kids but when ur married and have a loving wife and a real home atmosphere its easier to enjoy the thought of kids. absent those two and I have ZERO interest in it.

again, im a realist and my profession have a 75% divorce rate and im just not interested in being a weekend daddy and statistically that is what would happen. its not an absolute but likely.

and I think you have to have a fundamental desire to have children at some point in ur life. personally, I have never felt that desire even when I was younger and even less as I have grown older.

when I see people with screaming whining kids at the mall, restaurants, airplanes, etc..... I say "thank god that isnt me". I do hear often that when they are YOUR kids you are not as annoyed by them when they are acting up. and the cost is outrageous! its something like $500k when you include college. for many thats an acceptable price to pay for what you get but not when its something you never really wanted in the first place.

but, things could always change I guess which is why I have struggled with doing this for many years. I guess im more of an animal lover then people lover.

I felt pretty much just like you - until the moment my 10-minute old newborn daughter grabbed my pinky and held on - a defining moment in my life that brings me to tears as I type this. All I can say is you perspective reallllly changes.
 
I felt pretty much just like you - until the moment my 10-minute old newborn daughter grabbed my pinky and held on - a defining moment in my life that brings me to tears as I type this. All I can say is you perspective reallllly changes.
not gonna argue with that. I guess its one of those things that until it happens you never really know.
 
Brett I don't think your so much a realist as a pessimist. And I mean that with no disrespect.

Today you don't feel that way but only moments from now you may meet the one, the one who lifts your spirits and lights your fire. You may come to look at her and say to yourself that woman is be proud to have kids with.
I met my wife one day without thinking about it while driving home. Sitting at a red light I had a feeling someone was watching me. So I looked over and there she was. The rest is history. She says I was looking at her and me the opposite but who cares. My kids drive me to the point of heart attack every day but when I see Adam twisting that throttle and know he will hopefully one day come to enjoy things like daddy and with daddy there is nothing I'd change.
He is a mini me and that is a true gift. I wish you'd enjoy it for yourself.
 
I can respect Brett's position on children...not everyone wants any. If he did face fatherhood, his perspective would probably change, as others mentioned, once he witnessed the birth and was an active participant in their life. The initial bonding experience is indeed overwhelming. He also raises a valid point concerning the divorce rate for his profession. Of course, he could fall into the 25% success rate for marriage, but already the odds are stacked against him. Plus, the United States already leads in divorces @ 4.95 per 1,000 people Divorce rate statistics - Countries Compared - NationMaster

But with that said, it's not always married couples having children....so the divorce aspect may not even come into play.
 
all valid points guys and yes I am a bit of a pessimist there is no debating that. but, when you see nearly ALL of ur friends go thru nasty divorces, lose their house, pay child support and become weekend daddys it often makes you look at the glass as being half empty vs. half full. but, I could be in that 25% and be very happy some day. not denying that is a possibility.

I dont think there is anyone that would ever want to give up their kids BUT if they could fast forward the clock after meeting that "special one" and see divorce, living in some apartment, giving up half their pension, paying child support, not retiring early like you planned and worked hard for and being a part time daddy id bet most of them would be pulling out....:laugh:

when things are great its easy to look at the glass half full but the reality is cops have the highest divorce rate of any profession and I simply cant ignore that. couple that with the fact that I have never desired them and it just seems more logical to me to avoid a disaster. I dont want to be one of those miserable people working just to make ends meet and HAVING to work overtime to live comfortably.

when I was younger I had to problem working overtime but as I grow older im not so modivated and dont want to be in a position where I HAVE to work overtime. I do it now cause I CHOOSE to. im not so sure if that is being more of a realist vs. a pessimist but it is how I feel generally.
 
Brett maybe all your friends are a bunch of undedicated losers :)
Just kidding.

That's what Pre nups are for.


Who would not want to play war games with this guy?

image.jpg
 
There is no way I could ever do without him!



Many many yrs I felt same. 'Oh I don't want to get married, would never have kids, kids suck....blablabla.'



Then my life changed when the Dr took him out and placed him in my arms.
It is a feeling I wish you all could experience and not miss out on.

The Blanca Busa bloodline lives on in him...

Yes, once they arrive they are precious. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, did you ever consider what happened to the 4,999,999,999 just like him that were flushed down the drain screaming "I don't want to die, let me be the one" during that conception? :dunno:
 
Yes, once they arrive they are precious. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, did you ever consider what happened to the 4,999,999,999 just like him that were flushed down the drain screaming "I don't want to die, let me be the one" during that conception? :dunno:

They didn't get flushed? They just lost the swim race. :)
 
My two boys could/can be a pain in the butt/wallet, but "the grubber" (my grandaughter) is simply priceless after 3 brothers & 2 sons.
 
Im on Bretts side, some of us just arent meant for the wife, kids and white picket fence. Plus, if there are always single moms out there, so an Insta-family is always an option with no 18yr commitment when she turns out to be insane, or rather reveals the insanity that all women have:laugh:

Get that doctor appointment made and keep our single with no kids species going strong!:beerchug:
 
I think they should tie your social security benefits to how many kids you have, they will eb he ones paying the bill and if you don't have any you should not get any $. Unless of course, you think you are so self centered and selfish you would not be able to raise a kid or just plain stupid and crazy and cant raise a kid.
 
I think they should tie your social security benefits to how many kids you have, they will eb he ones paying the bill and if you don't have any you should not get any $. Unless of course, you think you are so self centered and selfish you would not be able to raise a kid or just plain stupid and crazy and cant raise a kid.

Me not having kids is beneficial to everyone's future. I've come to the conclusion that my name genetics should die with me, gotta cut this disease of while I can. :thumbsup:
 
About the time of the next bash Ill be in the same boat as Blanca Busa and Skydiver. Never would of thought I would be a daddy one day, that seemed to elude me until I met Karen. The others scared me to death having children with them.

Brett my room mate is local P.D., yes the divorce rate is high in your field and he too is a dad! A darn good one at that too!
 
We will not be having kids in this life...I have no desire and I have heard it every which way about they change your life and you never regret it and they are so great...BUT...you can't take it back so it doesn't matter, you make the best out of whatever life has given you. In this case, life gave you a child and you love it because you have to, its your flesh and blood. In an alternate timeline, you probably could be just as happy (albeit in a different way) with no kids, traveling when/where you want and with no worries...maybe not and we'll never know.

As far as tying SS $ to the number of kids..yeah, that goes on my list for the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Every species on earth is capable (and does) know how to reproduce, we are nothing special. For whatever reason, we as humans, seem to think our lives our special when in fact, there is really nothing special about it..we are no different than any other living thing.
 
The social research fact is that, over the last 30 years, there are more people in the US choosing not to reproduce and living fulfilling lives. Also, they tend to be more educated, mobile and even in the higher income stratas. Hey, I have two wonderful daughters that define me BUT that doesn't mean creating offspring is for everybody. Actually, I respect your decision and the inner strength it took to make it because everyone from strangers to loved ones will question you judgement. I know some really happy people that have chosen to not have kids.
BTW, I had a vasectomy and it had no effect on my self image or manhood! Doyle
 
I wonder what the stats are on vasectomy's amongst repubs and democrats, I am pretty sure the dems are leading the abortion thing, if they are leading the vasectomy thing too, I think we just discovered a self correcting issue.
 
all valid points guys and yes I am a bit of a pessimist there is no debating that. but, when you see nearly ALL of ur friends go thru nasty divorces, lose their house, pay child support and become weekend daddys it often makes you look at the glass as being half empty vs. half full. but, I could be in that 25% and be very happy some day. not denying that is a possibility.

I dont think there is anyone that would ever want to give up their kids BUT if they could fast forward the clock after meeting that "special one" and see divorce, living in some apartment, giving up half their pension, paying child support, not retiring early like you planned and worked hard for and being a part time daddy id bet most of them would be pulling out....:laugh:

when things are great its easy to look at the glass half full but the reality is cops have the highest divorce rate of any profession and I simply cant ignore that. couple that with the fact that I have never desired them and it just seems more logical to me to avoid a disaster. I dont want to be one of those miserable people working just to make ends meet and HAVING to work overtime to live comfortably.

when I was younger I had to problem working overtime but as I grow older im not so modivated and dont want to be in a position where I HAVE to work overtime. I do it now cause I CHOOSE to. im not so sure if that is being more of a realist vs. a pessimist but it is how I feel generally.

Don't get me wrong Brett, I respect your (and anyone else that picks this route) choice. I'd rather anybody NOT bring a child into the world (prevent, not abort) unless they are 100% comitted to take care of it; there are too many out there who don't with long-term consequences. Blanca and I were just providing our perspective.

About the time of the next bash Ill be in the same boat as Blanca Busa and Skydiver. Never would of thought I would be a daddy one day, that seemed to elude me until I met Karen. The others scared me to death having children with them.

Brett my room mate is local P.D., yes the divorce rate is high in your field and he too is a dad! A darn good one at that too!

Tim, you are going to have that 'moment of clarity' very soon. There is NOTHING it compares with the most visceral thing you will ever feel. I hope that for you as it's something very special. You are going to have to post up, or look me and Saiid in the face and relate your 'moment'...and I'm going to say in advance " I Told you So" :thumbsup:
 
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