How do you just ask a girl out?

[PaNDeM1C]

Don't think low of me... but I'm posting this just for some feedback.

MY situation now: I'm having sex w/ an older woman right now and she's divorced with one child. It's good sex.... but... I want a woman more my age to have a relationship with. I like having sex with the older woman but we really don't have anything in common as far as our interests go. We don't like the same movies, etc. Get the point?

I've always gotten dates/sex by chance or through others... so now I'm stuck having to do it all by myself...

So.... how do you just ask a woman out without being a prick/stud/assh*le in the process? I'm just looking for tips/ways to do it without seeming like some sex-starved prick in the process....... ok?

I have my 'eye' on this one great girl in my apartment complex.... she has a big fluffy dog and I've seen her around many times in the elevator. I just don't want to ruin it by just blurting out "so, we should go out sometime!"... etc...

Ok?

Any tips how to just say "I want to go out with you" would be appreciated!!!

NOTE: yes, i've already met this girl..... many times.... i just want to be sure i ask her out the right way without sounding like some motorcycle assh*le! she knows i own a bike.... so simply.... i'm lookin' for some good tips from the real studs on this forum!!!

I feel like an idiot asking this in a way because right now I'm actually in a relationship with a woman, but it's just sexual and it means nothing emotionally..... just sexual!

So...... I guess I'm beating myself up about this whole thing. I want to ask this girl/woman out but I don't have the balls!!!!!!!!!! OK I ACCEPT THAT!!!

I need to grow the balls and man the f' up and just do it.... and let the chips fall where they may......

(she has a nice fluffy dog and went to auburn i think.... but i hope i'll know more)

If not.....

KEEP RIDING THE BUSA!!!

AIN'T THAT WHY WE'RE HERE?? HAHAHA!!!

 

[PaNDeM1C]

 

[PaNDeM1C]

It's strange because I am having sex now with a woman I met from work.... and we met up online later.... and then we started having sex!!! It WAS like some fantasy!!! Now, my sex life/adult life is at a boring halt! I want more than just an older woman from time to time......... I want a true woman I can love every single day!!!

.... that's what i want.

 

[PaNDeM1C]

damn......... i guess, in this thread, i said what i really want................

pandem1c

 

[LadyHawk]

The nicest, non-sexist, polite way to ask a woman on a date, is to just ask her. Chat a bit, and then say "Hey, you wanna go get some lunch (dinner)?" Or preplan a bit, find something that's going on in the neighborhood, like a concert in the park, or a carnival, or something cheap and fun, then after you've chatted with her, say "There's a concert (or whatever) in the park next Saturday.. would you be interested in checking it out?"

Something simple, ya don't have to WOW her on the first date. Just something that is low key and relaxed.

Good luck!

 

[NightCrawler]

(PaNDeM1C @ Jun. 21 2007,05:04) I've always gotten dates/sex by chance or through others... so now I'm stuck having to do it all by myself...

 

[GSXRFANN]

(LadyHawk @ Jun. 21 2007,10:29) The nicest, non-sexist, polite way to ask a woman on a date, is to just ask her. Chat a bit, and then say "Hey, you wanna go get some lunch (dinner)?" Or preplan a bit, find something that's going on in the neighborhood, like a concert in the park, or a carnival, or something cheap and fun, then after you've chatted with her, say "There's a concert (or whatever) in the park next Saturday.. would you be interested in checking it out?"

Something simple, ya don't have to WOW her on the first date. Just something that is low key and relaxed.

Good luck!

+1

 

[Spudley]

Sounds like that about covers it......NEXT POST !!!!!

Good JOB Ladyhawk..........

 

[VaBusa]

(Spudley @ Jun. 21 2007,08:44) Sounds like that about covers it......NEXT POST !!!!!

 

 

Good JOB Ladyhawk..........

Yep, Ladyhawk said it best...

NEXT!

*free post*

 

[LadyHawk]

Thank you, thank you very much.

 

[Wag]

Ladyhawk nailed it. Go figure.

--Wag--

 

[GPW]

Hey VA there's a concert next week....wanna go...

Just kidding.....ooopps here comes the wife..

 

[VaBusa]

(GPW @ Jun. 21 2007,09:25) Hey VA there's a concert next week....wanna go...

 

Just kidding.....ooopps here comes the wife..

 

[Chief RoadLoK]

Yes, it sounds like good advice. I would like to mention that you can send the older women my way! Hey, I'm 50 and I find that it is very easy to ask women out now, probably because I figure I've got nothing to lose at this point in my life. Good Luck!

Chief

 

[DREW]

Just dont ask if she would like to pet your monkey! That never works. "so ive been told ". "Married 20 years". Dud, small talk and just ask. Worst youll get is NO.

 

[WWJD]

Lady's is good, but doesn't close the deal. PERSONALLY, [and keep in mind, I'm single and have not been dating for a few years by choice]

I prefer the "covert ops" method of feeling the situation out first. My sneak attack method [girls please stop reading now] is to make MEANINGFUL CONVERSION about anything BUT your interest. I don't mean the weather. I mean, find common ground to start, and continue to carry on a conversation - the goal: making you seem interesting and intelligent [even if you are not ] PLUS, you get to learn a lot about her, and see if she's REALLY your type and not just another conquest. This method is honest, and effective - it has never failed me yet and worked TOO good on many occasions. WHen you get her to open up and starting talking A LOT about herself, you know you are on the right track. And BE GENERALLY INTERESTED, don't just fake it. Ask followup questions. Keep asking things. Never stop to add your own filler. Be selfless. It works.

Start a conversation about the style of dog [read up on them first of course], then keep asking questions.... don't make the all too common mistake of rattling on about yourself. Ask HER info about the dog, why SHE likes them, what other dogs she likes, what other pets she likes, has she ever gone to local dog shows, what's the deal with training, why are some dogs really smart and some really stupid, do you think it's true that dogs and owners start looking alik eafter a long while [attempt at humor], offer to dog walk on occasion when she goes out or on vacation, maybe you are thinking about getting a dog and need advice from her about how the apartment deals with dogs.... just keep the conversation rolling and she'll get comfortable talking to you. Has she been to that such and such place on 3rd yet, is it any good--- i'm heading there now if you want to go...

Also, HUMOR is the biggest ice breaker ever! Nothing better.

My last two went like this:

Email "What the heck is that smell over in your area??? Someone spraying HAWIIAN TROPIC in the air conditioner over there?" there was a large smell of coconut in the air. That opener worked very well indeed

Work Chat [generally not recommended] "I'm hitting the Subway up the street and I'd see if you wanna ride along, but seeing as you went to Iowa State, you may not be bright enough to hang on to a motorcycle...." We dated for 3 months

Hey, and thanks for your brutally honest post. Believe me you are not alone in that situation. I have been there before, and I have a friend right now in that exact same situation. It really bothers him and he is working to escape to someone new. You are not alone. Great relationships have more than one part to them and are MUCH MORE fulfilling. You will find more depth when you seek it... and you are! Good skills, bro. And good luck with your neighbor. I had an attractive neighbor with a dog too - but a few week s of observation [stalking?] revealed a live in boyfriend and I will never try to interfere when an SO is involved

 

[proud dad]

I just say........Honey lets go out and eat........she just follows me.....why...now she don't have to cook supper

 I bad again..But I have been married 26 years.Must be doing something right.

 

[Fate]

I am with wag on this. Get her talking so she feels a connection and that you are not a crazy nut (we all know you are but don't let her know)  

     


No big conversations about motorcycles or yourself or any other "guy stuff". Watch her body language and facial expressions. If she seems really interested in conversation, smiles alot and is not looking away, moves closer and not away, is not in a hurry to leave, makes eye contact, if your real lucky, touches her hair and keeps moving closer, points her body in your direction (legs towards you and front of body towards you), she makes physical contact with you during conversation, a touch of the shoulder, leg, go in for the kill and just ask her out to somewhere safe and crowded and as Lady Hawk said. Don't go for the romantic dinner just something fun, cheap, and where you can finish talking and getting to know each other. I always thought the movies was the worst waste of time for a first date. The first date is for getting to know each other and see if there is a connection worth pursuing.

Remember "BODY LANGUAGE"

 

[yamahor]

(VaBusa @ Jun. 21 2007,09:27)

(GPW @ Jun. 21 2007,09:25) Hey VA there's a concert next week....wanna go...

 

Just kidding.....ooopps here comes the wife..

I have a feeling Mike would be making a trip to MD VERY quickly if that happened.

 

[thrasherfox]

I didn’t read the entire thread, did feel I wanted to mention this

Dont get to uptight about the age thing.

I am happily married, however. if I were single and on the market. I would prefer and older attractive woman to any younger woman

I guess to put it in perspective. I would rather be with a 45 year old attractive woman than a super hot 21 year old..

But aside from that, when I was single. I just asked girls out.

If I was in a store somewhere and saw someone I felt attracted to, would just walk up and say "hey!! how are you? up for dinner tomorrow night?

The worse that they will say is no. Most of the time when I asked girls they would smile, chuckle a little at my boldness and say "sure!!"

Then I would usually follow up with:

"since we don’t know each other, instead of me asking you for your address how about if you meet me at the restaurant, have dinner and conversation, see how things go and if we get along maybe we can go do something else after dinner."

I have found women usually don’t like people who are full of themselves, but they do like confidence, and there is not only a difference but a noticeable difference that women pick up on.

There is a fine line between confidence and conceit



Anyway, used to work for me...